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<span style="font-weight: bold">How To Not Get A Promotion </span>
Cookie-cutters are hardly noticed. Unique personality sells.
So, how about distinguishing yourself from your co-workers? Instead of vying for promotion, you should avoid one! Here's what you can do to NOT get a promotion:
1. Demonstrate your intelligence to your boss
He surely will recognize your talent and mark you as a threat to his position. "Jeez, this guy is waay better than me!" Therefore he'll do anything to secure his limelight- including denying you a promotion which will put you into a greater position to belittle his skills.
2. Speak-up in meetings
Meetings are boring. So the only thing that will annoy the people in one is to lengthen them. An honest, professional opinion backed by concrete sheets of facts will definitely put them off from recommending to expedite your authority.
<span style="font-weight: bold">3. Build a good rapport with the top management</span>
A good relationship with the top managements and directors is good- to increase your boss's suspicion that:
a. you're an 1diot for not adhering to the decision making chain
b. you're out there to stab his back
c. you're a better @55-kisser than he is
4.<span style="font-weight: bold"> Spend less time in the pantry</span>
...and be left in the dark on what's the best subject to praise your boss or the best source to plagiarize your report.
You will also miss out any opportunity to request your colleagues to replace you in one of your concurrent meetings, since they can make up BS and you don't know anything about them to question.
5. <span style="font-weight: bold">Plan your career ahead</span>
So that you can be disappointed that everything you planned bar none is not working. Try ridiculously-optimistic planning so that utter rage is produced out of your disappointment.
Kicking the water dispenser or spitting on the department's door is always good to avoid any promotion.
***
Now that is what I call 'being unique'. Show some love to your cubicle. It's going to be your life partner.
<span style="font-size: 8pt">In other words, learn how to fly under the radar.</span>..
<span style="font-style: italic">Black Zedd</span>
Cookie-cutters are hardly noticed. Unique personality sells.
So, how about distinguishing yourself from your co-workers? Instead of vying for promotion, you should avoid one! Here's what you can do to NOT get a promotion:
1. Demonstrate your intelligence to your boss
He surely will recognize your talent and mark you as a threat to his position. "Jeez, this guy is waay better than me!" Therefore he'll do anything to secure his limelight- including denying you a promotion which will put you into a greater position to belittle his skills.
2. Speak-up in meetings
Meetings are boring. So the only thing that will annoy the people in one is to lengthen them. An honest, professional opinion backed by concrete sheets of facts will definitely put them off from recommending to expedite your authority.
<span style="font-weight: bold">3. Build a good rapport with the top management</span>
A good relationship with the top managements and directors is good- to increase your boss's suspicion that:
a. you're an 1diot for not adhering to the decision making chain
b. you're out there to stab his back
c. you're a better @55-kisser than he is
4.<span style="font-weight: bold"> Spend less time in the pantry</span>
...and be left in the dark on what's the best subject to praise your boss or the best source to plagiarize your report.
You will also miss out any opportunity to request your colleagues to replace you in one of your concurrent meetings, since they can make up BS and you don't know anything about them to question.
5. <span style="font-weight: bold">Plan your career ahead</span>
So that you can be disappointed that everything you planned bar none is not working. Try ridiculously-optimistic planning so that utter rage is produced out of your disappointment.
Kicking the water dispenser or spitting on the department's door is always good to avoid any promotion.
***
Now that is what I call 'being unique'. Show some love to your cubicle. It's going to be your life partner.
<span style="font-size: 8pt">In other words, learn how to fly under the radar.</span>..
<span style="font-style: italic">Black Zedd</span>