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At 31, she was already a financial columnist for one of the nation's most respected newspapers, yet somehow Nancy Trejos found herself in a sticky money situation: Drowning in debt and dialing her folks for some bailout money of her own.
But one good thing has come of her money mishaps. Trejos' first book, "Hot (Broke) Messes: How to Have Your Latte and Drink It Too" has just hit shelves. So we took the author's advice, grabbed our own frothy coffee and got down to business to find out, well, what happened.
Lemondrop: Just how in the hole did you find yourself -- and what bad decisions led to the predicament?
Nancy Trejos: I had thousands of dollars in credit card debt, a loan for a car I didn't need (but also couldn't sell for what I owed on it), student loans and medical bills. I even bought a condo with a fiance at the height of the market, and then had to list it at a loss when we broke up. I pretty much made every personal finance mistake you can make. The medical bills were beyond my control, but the credit card debt, car loan and even the mortgage were totally avoidable. I got my first credit card in college at a time when companies were handing them out to anyone. I spent impulsively because I figured that I could pay the balance off later. I also did my fair share of emotional spending -- anytime a relationship ended, I'd buy nice outfits, or take spontaneous trips to escape. I was a mess.
In retrospect, did a part of you know all along that the debt was piling up, but you found sneaky psychological ways to avoid the issue?
I knew the debt was there, but I'd make the minimum payments and forget about it until the next month. I reasoned that, as long as I was paying my bills on time, I was fine. But I wasn't. There was no way I was ever going to get out of credit card debt by simply making minimum payments. I was fooling myself.
You must have swallowed a lot of pride to ask Mom and Dad for help.
My parents were sweet about it. They're immigrants -- my father is from Colombia, my mother was born in Ecuador -- and they truly believe that you help your children when they're in trouble, no matter what age they are. In some ways, they seemed happy that I was reaching out to them. I left home when I was 17, so they've felt disconnected from me. In a weird way, this brought us closer.
Do women fall into certain money pitfalls more commonly than men?
I do believe that women deal with different personal finance issues than men. For one thing, we live longer, so we have to save and invest differently. We also have to deal with life-changing decisions that men don't really confront. If we have children, we need to decide if we're going to continue working, or maybe cut back on our hours. And even though there is more gender equality nowadays, men still tend to make more money than women. I also believe that the media messages directed at women differ from those directed at men. For one, women are encouraged to shop. Don't get me wrong, I love Sex and the City, but who can afford Manolo Blahniks?
What are the top four money problems women in their 20s and 30s encounter ... or create for themselves?
Credit card debt is always the main issue. Some other problems for people in that age bracket: They don't have enough in emergency reserves, so if they lose their jobs, they have no cushion to fall back on. And then there's poor retirement planning. I've talked to people who don't have 401ks -- even though their employers will match their contributions -- because they figure that they have years to make up for it. But they lose out on so much potential retirement savings. Finally, there's overspending on fun. You try to keep up with everyone's lifestyle, so you end up going out for food and drinks all of the time. Everything, even socializing, should be done in moderation. Friends will still be your friends even if you don't go out every night!
What about money issues tied to relationships? Do you find that people fall into certain patterns when they live with someone? We all have that seemingly smart friend who's always bailing out her partner!
Love and money can be a combustible mix. I do think people fall into patterns when they move in with someone -- and one person usually ends up being the financial manager of the house. Believe it or not, I sort of fell into that role with my first live-in boyfriend -- and we were both financial messes! But I also feel that a lot of couples make the mistake of not having an honest and thorough discussion about their finances before co-habitating. It's not sexy, but you must know how exactly much each of you makes, how much debt you're both in, and you need to come up with a fair division of expenses that makes you both comfortable.
What are some of the more outrageous stories you've heard from women?
One of the people I profiled in my book got into tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt just by shopping for clothing for herself and her daughter. She didn't even have a full-time job! She eventually had to go into therapy. Another woman I talked to had to declare bankruptcy -- and she was around my age. That story terrified me.
Do you believe we often adopt certain behaviors related to money management from observing our mothers?
I've had long conversations with therapists about this because I myself was wondering why I became such a spendthrift when my mom was so frugal. There's no definitive answer, but some children end up emulating their parents, while others rebel. There's no rhyme or reason to it. Either way, how our parents deal with money definitely shapes us.
One of the highlights of your book is the idea that you can still have a life and not overspend. What are some tips you offer?
Entertain at home. I have a close group of friends -- they're actually my neighbors -- and we take turns cooking for each other. The host provides the main dish, and the guests bring a side dish, dessert, or wine. The bonus is that you always have enough leftovers for lunch the next day. I also look forward to the spring, summer, and early fall because I get to grill burgers, hot dogs, and chicken, which are tasty and inexpensive!
Which chapters in your book do you think will really resonate with women?
I loved writing chapters seven through nine. Seven is about love and money and, let's face it, the two subjects are so intertwined. Chapter eight, "To Have or Have Not," is the shopping section, and I give some good tips on how to look good on a budget. And chapter nine is "You're So Vain." Admit it, ladies, we want to look good, and sometimes we spend a little too much money on those fancy lotions when there are cheaper options. Just because something is expensive doesn't mean it's better.