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Ok Ladies and genklebwaays .. A Talk show was suggested as a format for the Report so dis week PinkeyLou win dat toss and she is di main Character ..Congrats Ms PinkeyLou – dis muss bi your week. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] Anyway, hope you enjoy the report.
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PinkeyLou: Good afternoon Radio Land and welcome to anader edition of the Pinkey-Link Show . Yes people gi mi a link a di station an tell mi if something is bothering you and Auntie Lou wi tell yuh wha fi do. So let's hear it people, gimmie all of those weird habits, prablems and secrets and don't hold anyting back!!!!! The number to call is 1-888-PINKY-LINK…. Hello First caller what yuh have to tell Auntie Pinkey?
Jamdown3: Hello?..Hello any bady dere? am I on di HAIR?
PinkeyLou: Yes caller yuh on di “hair”, turn down yuh radio..what can I do for you?
Jamdown3: Yes I want to sen a big shot out to ma’ girl [b[Pepper[/b] who havin a birtday today… Peppa mi fren mi a go try mek some homminy carn fi yuh birtday cause mi bun up di cake... Ms Pinkey can a mek a special sang request fi mi sistren?
PinkeyLou: hey yuh likkle Friten Friday, dis is nat BarryG nar Alan Magnus… doan call back mi show fi wish yuh gingbang fren dem noh more happy birtday! **click**.. After all!! Next caller Please!
Thirdeye: Aftanoon Ms Pinkey. Today I want to talk you you about a very strange habit mi have of going out wid man and then finding out dem unemployed, uneducated, live in dem mama basement and unmotivated ! I'm in this no-brotha-havin Seattle. Mek mi warn all di ladies out dere - UNU NOH COME DUNG YAH LOOKIN' FI NO MAN!! Wos of all, dem Sons-a-b*tches are all JA-FAKE-ANS!! Can a sista fine a good brother with a real Jamaican accent – dag!...
PinkeyLou: Easy sista! I can give you a number a reputable brother who is a real Jamaican. Notten noh fake bout him. Im name Rasta_minded One . Don’t be fooled by di name sista..im is a real dread even dowe im admit sey im nyam powk.Tell im Pinkey sen yu – airght? Next caller..Talk to mi
[/b] Empress Marsha:[/b] Pinkey I feel so bad for dat lady..Poor ting. Nat a man in har life but fimi bad habit dem wos dan fi har own dem. Mi have some dirty habits weh noh fit fi air play but mi a let unu pon some still. Strangely mi always a play wid mi ti-ti dem..Noh badda tink mi is a freak mi jus like si mi nipple dem stan up stiff an pinted! Mi also love fi sleep naked, but misis masquita woulda kill mi a nighttime so now mi cova up wid blanket noh matta how hat di temperatra bi! I get a kick out of playing wid mi bwayfren rollie-rollie hair una im arm pit to…
PinkeyLou: Yuh to? Mi love dat to mi fren but tek it fram mi .. be careful how yuh play unda dem armpit. One day mi did a play wid mi bwayfren armpit an mi buck up pon a whole nest a lice a run up an dung unda deh. Fram mi barn mi neva know sey lice grow unda arm pit! Gal fram dat day mi noh goh deh soh again misis..Tek care a yuself an keep dose breast purky!..
Alabaster: Mistress PinkeyLou mi hoff heye warter streaming down mi jaw..I can't put on a bathing suit over all these lumps and bumps and mi behine get so big dat mi husban a call mi Bull Doza batty! Mi get up dis marning an I CAN'T FIT HENNY HOFF MY SUMMER CLOTHES!!! *sniffle-sniffle*. Yuh know hoff any herbal diets dat won’t gi mi running belly Ms Pinkey?
PinkeyLou: Oh Lowd- Hercules!! Hercules!!. Hush yaah mi chile, if yuh batty big like fi mi try put on a sharts ova di a bathsuit ... If it too broad yuh might waan jus figet bout di badingsuit ting all togeda an tan a yuh yaad… (phone line flashes) Yes Caller, you have something to add?
Lawx: I want to know is wha she a complain bout? She noh have a ting fi worry har Pinkey..Suppose she si how fimi foot a stretch out lang like train line?! Mi shoes size gaan quite uppa numba 15!! An mi start out at 6! Atleast badingsuit can stretch.. fimi boot caan stretch a backside no matta how much wet paypa mi set ina it ovanight!! Chat bout!
PinkeyLou: : Yuh hear dat Ms Overweight? Cheer Up love..all it mean is dat yuh need fi goh buy clothes dat cut bigga an wida..Happy shopping! Next Caller.. what’s up?
Jeanie: Auntie Pink, I have a prablem holding dung gas. Sometimes Ms Pinkie mi deh fart bout 100 miles per di hour. When dem talk bout Pooping tempa, a mi dat. Yuh si all when I dun finish my Sunday dinner and drink off mi Guinness punch – everybady know she dem betta clear outta de room an run fi cova!!! Ms Pinky, I remember me and mi young man used to have pooping contest fi si who could fart the loudest in bed an den wi pull de sheets ova wi head. Well Ms Pinkey, one night im tek in one a mi fart dem an it nearly damage up im inside structra. Mi sey mi friten when mi si di man yeye dem tun ova ina im head an im drop off di bed stone stiff!! When im recova im tell mi sey im a lef mi cause im neva know sey a so mi belly rotten an smell like smaddy dead in deh.
PinkeyLou: Ooooohhh My Lord Jeanie! Auntie Pinkey have a little story fi share wid yuh fi mek yuh feel beta bout yuh prablem ….. Mi memba when mi did just start date mi sweetheart I did have a serious gas problem miself. Yuh know how wi woman love gwaan like wi a Ms fit and sh*t when wi waan impress man? Jeanie one day mi a do sit ups and di man infront a mi a hold dung mi foot. Mi feel a likkle gas out fi leggo an mi tell im sey mi caan do noh more cause mi know what was about to happen… All mi a try tell im sey mi done im still a sey “c’mon baby, one more for daddy”.. well mi goh fi do di laas one an Mi dear chile- mi leggo one long, truck horn sounding, stinking fart inna im face lick im out fi six! Jeanie, a CPR mi did have fi use fi revive di man yuhnoh! So doan feel shame yaah sweetie ..fram dat day my motto is “Let fart be free” If it a goh kill smaddy – is nat gwine mi me..Chat bout! Next caller …what’s up?
Caller: Hi Ms Pinkey, ..lissen I am calling unanimously to admit that I have a very strange habit I caan help… Mi pick it up in mi early 20s Ms Lou and mi shame a it so til.
PinkeyLou: So why yuh calling unanimously ..dis is radio yuhnoh..nobaddy nat gwine si yuh face..Jus gi mi a bogus name man.
Caller: No man Ms Pinkey, mi noh tink noh name necessary. Mi deh pon di down low cause mi fraid fi mek mi wife know bout dis one. Jus call mi “PetaPan” airight.. Well troo mi lang and lenky, mi fine it easiea fi piss ina di batrom sink. Di tielet too far dung. So fi mi convenience mi jus tan up an spray di sink when mi ready fi pee-pee..
PinkeyLou: MISTA KALIKAN??? A YUH DAT??..
Caller: (trembling voice) No No No! Ms Pinky I no name noh Kalikan .. a who name soh?
PinkeyLou; I remember you from another show. I pick up yuh vize good good .. last week yuh call mi show when wi was talking about phobias an yuh call di show an tell di whole worl sey yuh noh fraida nuten. How duppy caan friten yuh an yuh noh fraid fi lack up inna car trunk an blah blah. Mi Memba yuh was a call everybdy else fraidy fraidy ...So Kalikan a how yuh soun so fraidy fraidy tidey? If I nat mistaken yuh sey yuh “fraid” yuh wife fine out. Kalikan, yuh is a nasty wrtech!! An I doan know how yuh wife put up wid di nassiness! Mrs Kalikan I would advise yuh not to pick up di teetpaste back from outta dat sink when it drop off a di teetbrush. Yuh in fi a renking surprise!…
Kalikan: Ms Lady, yuh neva haffi shame mi soh yuhnoh an come call out mi name pon radio!! ..All di time when mi talk di troot unu ack friten and ready fi criticize people ..Unu kiss mi R**s cause unu a galang like a fi unu sink mi a piss inna !! **click**
PinkeyLou: What dah hell wrang wid dat man eeh? Kalikan if yuh still a lissen, mi still tink yuh nassy ..remine mi fi noh come a yuh yaard.. Yuh mek mi stomach sick! Next caller ..chat to mi!
Jambrit: Marning Ms Pinkey. I are calling cause mi waan know something.. I watching di TV laas night an si dat show dem call “Survivor. What mi waan fi know yuh si, yuh tink dem ave tings like soap, deodarant, tilet paypa, tootbrush/tootpace, nail clip, q-tip, Stayfree, Douche, lotion, Masquita destroya and dem tings deh? Mi did a watch a likkle paat haf di show han Laad, fagive mi, but dem did look well naasy like dem cudda do wid a good srub dung. How people can look soh dutty an crawny fi $1 million dalla I don’t know!
PinkeyLou: Mi neva watch di show, but fi $1 million dallaz...HELL Yeah mi wooda tan black like dem mad people yuh si si outta street. Mi woulda nyam all rat, bat, worm, four bullfrag, ticks – whateva!! 1 million dallaz a nuff money! Enough fi mek mi quit disyah half dead talk show mi have yah.. Unu tan deh! wha unu a goh do when di mark a de beast come? mi done tell heverybody dat awready sey A BUSH MI A GO LIVE!!! Chat bout!!! … Tan deh fool yuhself ..anybady agree wid mi – link mi!
Sandif: Yes Pinkey – a soh mi sey to I would do it! I agree wid yuh. Mi woulda chew pon daag flea fi a million dalla to backside! Mi a goh sign up fi di next show – watch! A dawg heart gyal dis a talk to yuh eehnoh Ms Pinkey. Mi noh ramp fi kill fly and step pon cockroach like a noh nutten ..Nutten noh phase mi a Blurtnaught ….Rahtid hole! One slug jus jump inna wash basin . …. MUUURRRRDDAAA!!! .. MUUURRRRDDAAA!!! (stumbling noise) **Click**
PinkeyLou: But a how dat deh daag heart ooman sey she noh fraid nutten an a galang so bad ova likkle slug worm..But kiss mi bumpa – a wha goh so!.. Caller on line four ..talk to mi
Aimé N.L.L.L. Olenga: Alleluia, alleluia, hosanna is comin. I come to share my views with.. ….
**click**..
PinkeyLou: MISTA PHONE MECHANIC I tink I did ask Management fi put a block on dat calla! Mi noh waan im call mi show a R***! Unu block im out mi seh!! Next calla!
Bandido1: Ms Pink, noh mek dat Aimee creature run up yuh blood pressure yaah. Yuh wooda beleeve seh afta yuh hang di phone pan im so much time, im wood bi intellegent enuff fi realize seh im calling di wrang show an im tawking to di wrang bunch a peeple. Mi nuh have noh intress in di " Congo, bongo wanga dingy! Alungo mifungo comfungo.” dat spew uotta fi im mout soh mi noh wrang yuh.. Anyway Pinks, mi call yuh fi fine out if a troo sey smaddy a call yuh a pose as a sistren wen im is reely a bredda! Mi mine tell mi a who but mi talk..
PinkeyLou: Mista sar why yuh noh jus seh is who an don
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[/b] BlessedLadyof Zion: Hi Ms. Pinkey, I am so glad I finally get troo to di program causen sey have a man a my yaard weh a try con mi an it naah goh so! Pinkey here yah now. Dis man wi agoh call im “Stui” . De amount a lie weh dis man dun tell mi gal it come in like im a 4 smaddy ina one! Whe dem call dem? Skizofrantic?! Well fus im tell mi a 22 and dat im doan have noh odda woman but mi. Im claim sey im noh own noh pickney but one gal a try gi im jacket. Well one day wi guh exercise (wi walk go all di way to Dennys) an when wi come back im lef mi fi tek a showa . When mi goh ina im draw fi a towel.. Mi dear Ma! What a ting mi guh buck up pan inna de towel draw!............
PinkeyLou: Wha yuh si ..sling shot baggy?
BlessedLadyof Zion: Ms Pinkey sarry but mi hear di door bell a ring..a mus mi girlfirend a come pick mi up fi goh a Dennys. Mi wi call yuh back when mi come back…
PinkeyLou: Wait!noh hang up yet (**click**).. but unu si mi dying trial.. a how she a go lef di public ina suspense soh… I only hope she know dis is a 1 hour show an mi noh have all day a wait. Next caller please…
Jooks: I tink dat blasted ooman dat jus call waan wan lick inna har ead! Wi haffi siddung yah wait til she done full har belly an ahno like she ahgo nyam anyting good ah Dennys. Mi tink smaddy did bun dung dat racist place lang time! Anyway Ms Pinkey while mi on di phone yuh know whe mi caan get two breadfruit fi teif …mi mean buy. Seems dere is a shartage of quality breshe dese days
PinkeyLou:
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Kingman: Sista Pinkey what I want to ask yuh si is it me the ediot or is it that when jamaican women come here dem hair seem to grow so till people a ask dem a what numba dat dem a wear. is dat sometimg yuh notice or mi is jus insane?
PinkeyLou: Yes caller- yuh is a ediot an yuh is insane.. Any other questions?
Kingman: ohhhh suh unu nuh want fess up to de troot?? Eh unu well an know weh mi a tawk bout. Nuff people goh a Jamaica and everbody ask dem a what numba wig dem a wear... so tap gwaan like say a fart mi a tawk
Pinkeylou: Hole an deh! is what yuh a try fi seh now? Dat when wi deh a Jamaica we salt if mi noh wear di right numba wig?
Hotti: (patched in on another line) Ms Pinkeu Yuh have time a kip up hargument wid di iggle bwaay. Kingman yuh couldn find nuttin betta fi chat bout pon di radio?
Kingman: Hey gal, you nah seh nothing, so jus shut up…it betta mi chat foolishnis dan nuh chat nuttin a tall. Is nat all di time mi love talk HUMAROUS TINGS!
Hotti: I Have a feeling dis bwaay doan work cause a ongly iggle smaddy tink up dem deh siting fi cawl an chat pon public radio. Ms Pinkey I was calling to just ask yuh if yuh did si Jamaicans.com Emmy show pon TV last night?.. Mi tink some a di Award dem was frig up. Di gal Bashey shoulda get bashment girl of di yr but dem gi har di “Man Trap” award. Den yuh did si how Jadine she just get up an callect award a not a soul noh naminate har fi nutten? An poor Churchgirl dem neva even gi har not one award fi all what she have done.
PinkeyLou: Ms Lady noh badda come feel sarry fi Churchgirl yuhnoh, becausen sey look how mi a big radio celabrity an not one smaddy did call mi name laas night fi get any award. Mek dem tan deh wid dem pieca gold statue..di whole a dem who run dat show can GOH DEAD A BUSH !!.. Tanks for calling but dis is not di right time fi dat subject .. **click** Who is on line tree? ..talk to mi!
Cho: Pinkey my girl!..whappen? Mi tink yuh shoulda get one prize fi true. No mine Yaah. But yuh si how mi get fi mi big award dowe.. But Ms Pinkie yuh know sey black people bad minded bad? As mi step outta di show laas night fi goh a mi yaad smaddy sail dutch pat an lick mi crass mi head! ~*Twitch*~ Mi sey a noh likkle lick mi get ina fi mi headskull yuhnoh..Christ man! Dem a goh tun mi ina vegetable before time. ~*Twitch*~
PinkeyLou: Serve yuh right! Yuh head shoulda split ina two.. Hurry up an sey what yuh have to sey an mek mi move on to di next calla man!
Cho: But ms Pinkey, is how yuh so miserable mam? ~*Twitch*~ bad blessing will falla yuh eenoh ..yuh mussin sey dem tings . Anyway, couple tings a baada mi fram wah day ~*Twitch*~ Why is it yuh caan fine a good Dankey sales rep dese days..Mi buy one dankey an di half dead mule dem nuh worth a faart! Mi tun roun now an start breeding mi owna Dankey dem an donkey worshippers a call mi demon cause mi gi di dankey sex. But is not like sey is nat consented sex!! What dese farmers an butchers want from mi? ~*Twitch*~ Those who have ears to listen then listen, because di donkey did come...alleluia di donkey did come.
PinkeyLou: Mista man - come af di rahtid radio wid yuh ramblings. Di lick yuh get wid di blasted dutchie pot tun yuh ina one real half ediat. Can I get one smaddy on the phone widout mental prablems?? Next caller please!
Q3210: (very low screechy voice). MaddaPinkey..how yuh do?
PinkeyLou: Odda dan mi bex sey mi noh get namination fi not one award and dat dam dankey rapist piss mi off, mi is just fabulous sir..what can I do fi yuh
Q3210: (still in a low voice).Yes Ms Pinks. Mi calling about a serious prablem mi a endurance fi ten yrs now. Mi hab a serious addiction to drugs. Yuh noh si mi caan even talk loud. Di whole heap a cigarette smoking pun up mi windpipe an mi vize noh too strang like before.. Sista Pinkey mi trying to kick dis habit but when mi lick di chalice, mi start fly like a butterfly and sting like a bees… Mi sniff cocaine like when Jancrow a sniff dead cow backside. Sista Pinkey what is yuh suggestian how mi caan get rid a dis monkey affa mi back?
PinkeyLou: Since mi is nat a druggist mi ago mek a caller ansa dat.. Anybody who have any advise fi dis drug infested man call mi..
Sierrasusieq: Hello Ms Pinkey if di genkle man is still on di line tell im fi change di drugs dem im use. Fi years now mi a use drugs like WHITE wine, BLACK coffee and RED hot slam head ina di wall sex!!! Di white wine wi mek im feel mellow like chellow, di black coffee wi boos im energy and if di laas one noh mek im “cum” around den im have bigga prablems dan drugs!
Pinkeylou: Thank you sista..I hope Mista Q3210 was teking notes ..any bodyelse out there want to give dis man furda advise?
Queen: Yes Good aftanoon. I am calling to fine out if yuh can gi mi a recipe fi jackass carn ..fram wah day mi a feel fi some jackass carn….
Pinkelyou: Hi Ms lady – wrang show! Please to call Di Jazz_Recipe of di Week Program on di odda radio station .. Wi noh have noh recipe fi jack-*** carn here ..wi talking about Drugs now.. Ta-ta! … AGAIN! any bodyelse out there want to give dis man furda advise?
Wendy: Yes Pinkey Mi sistren! Yuh si a dem people deh mi caan tek who love call big people show a change di subject yuh noh.. Now a whe di hell she a goh wid di Jackass carn argument yah now ?! **kiss teet** A tell yuh some people not so bright a tall.. anyway Ms Pinkey, back to di topic. Mi notice fram di odda day sey mi white mug have one black rim pon it and I tink dat is racist ..Yuh agree wid mi Auntie Pinkey?
PinkeyLou: (hangs up the phone on caller).. Fi di laas time.. ANY R*** SMADDY OUT DERE WANT TO GIVE DIS MAN FURDA ADVISE? An unu doan call yah wid unu foolishness dat doan have nuttin fi do wid di tapic!! ..cho Blouse and skirt! Si how unu mek mi a cuss badwod pon di public radio…
Adele: Hello Ms Lou… I was just watching a program on the effects of drugs and dem sey even dough di weed have di least effects, it wi kils off some yuh brain cells. It look like is dat happen to di one dat jus call name Kingman. Im sound like smaddy whe smoke soh much weed dat im en up a chat fart all day. Mi naah seY mi perfect because mi tek a one draw to an mi a wear mi Nicotine patch right now but some people doan really undastan sey drugs a one serious ting. My advice to Q3210 is to use music fi get a high. Dat a my strangest addiction now.. I should really be a D.J for the amount of music I buy…Whapen? unu have any opening dung a di station fi a DJ Auntie Pink?
PinkeyLou: Tanks yuh fi calling di show Ms, but if yuh a look DJ jab galang goh call Irie FM and ask fi MagaAman.. a him a run tings dung deh… Time to pay some bills.. This program has been brought to you by The *** ltd. – the largest retailer in Bellevue outfits. We’ll be back after this commercial break ..stay tuned
Commercial music
Voice of ylba: Asylum Shock-out Suits (***) announces it’s Grand opening of it’s new shop at Board lane 13! If you are a VIP member of jamaicans.com, *** will give a 5 % discount on all name brand straightjacket from famous designers Berasache and Tommy HillNigger. We have increased inventory in famous Bellevue gear and proudly sell a variety of colours: white, black, red, green, yellow, blue, rastafaricolours, JA-flag on back (BIG), or small one on di front. To get there.. take a left and a right by the Moderator building across from the big market sign and you caan miss it!! Come out an represent!!! Bellevue days are here again …SEE YOU THERE!!
PinkeyLou: Welcome back to our program. I personally endorse the *** ltd. Dem selll some “mad-***” clothes! Get out there and support dem please!.. Caller on line two ..talk to mi.
CWEE: Pinkey Babylove.. Yuh have a Dacta degree sexy Ms?
PinkeyLou: Is who yuh a call sexy? ..oooh neva mine … mi sexy fi troot. No! mi is plain plain Auntie Pinkey no Dacta in dese viens. Why yuh ask?
Cwee: Well sexy, I canvince I need a Therapist. I have too many girls, smoke too much weed, cuss too much and I am too dam pre-occupied with sex. I tink bout sex every quarta second..mi have sex wid any an everybady ! Mi noh fraid fi sey mi sex all miself sometimes. I tell yuh, Sexual frustration is a ***** ..I’ll be dammed!! Yuh know what Big Bumpa Pinkey? I strangly believe sey di “baggy” is di root a mi prablem. How can a man stay focus when a ooman baggyless?? I walk paas Victoria Sectret an si dem Stiff dally a maggle di new frilly high cut baggy dem an a feel like a woulda jump pon dat Mannequin an sex out every plastic whe mek har!!
PinkeyLou: Saviour Bwaay, yuh is a sick Freak!! I hear dere is a Therapist on line one.. Hello Doctor ..can you help this man out of his misery?
Secret Lover: What im need Pinkey is a practicing therapist who uses the “hands-on” method like me. As a matter of fact, I have a time slot available this Saturday. Mr CeeW yuh want to meet mi at about say 10ish a’clack?. You can si what I am about at my web site at www.lovetherapist org(anism).com. Mi is a ooman dat can hangle some good wok!..oooops mi mean mi “do some good wok”. Trus mi, mi can fix im problem!
Cwee: Look here Ms. Lady Lover Woman Smaddy, please to doan come rise mi nature and incriment mi temper. Ok? Kindly mek di appointment wid mi and doan try call me out ina big old John Public. Everybody we see which one a we a walk and step wide when yuh outta street. Mi wi si yuh 11 minutes past 10ish Saturday night.
PinkeyLou: Blowz an skirt dah man yah naa romp wid di one bag a talking! Bwoy yuh full a big chat jus mek sure seh yuh can defend dat! Docter SL please to call back di show next week an tell us how di wok goh.. dat a if yuh can git up fi use di phone (laughing)…wooiii mi belly. Next caller please
Mire: Afatnoon. MsPinkey something embarrassing happen to mi laas night yuh si.. a shame a shame a shame so til…Please to noh shame mi Ms Pinkey cause mi pregnant an kina fragile now... Anyway, mi naw gi yuh much details all mi a goh seh is true mi pregnant mi was trying to feel good bout miself so mi decide fi sexy up miself an dance fi mi husband. Mi had a nice pretty see-troo nightie – dem young people call it “lingerie”. Mi come hout a di bawthroom a moggle fi mi husband an ting an when mi look pon im face it wasn’t looking so pleasant.. Lawd Pinkey I started to feel like im neva like how mi look ina di lingerie ..Mi ask im “honey wha mek yuh amek up yuh face, mi look fat?.. Di man laugh afta mi an tell mi sey if mi noh si di Lingerie put on backwods an di back part hitch up ina mi behine. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] Oh Savior Pinkey..doan laugh but a feel like a coulda bag mi face mi tell yuh… I wonda if because mi pregnant why mi tun fool soh
PinkeyLou: (laughing hard)..wooiii mi belly – sarry mam but a di bes joke mi get since di program start. Neva mine ..just tell yuh husband sey atleast yuh naah come a bed ina dutty head ***** an tear up T-shirt. Have a good day love…. Woiii Merci – a dying.. who is coming Next? Talk to Pinkey..
BlessedLadyof Zion: Is mi again Ms Pinkey.. good ting di line wasn’t busy..as mi was saying mi open up di draw an si FOUR ENVELOPE! But di one weh ketch mi yeye is di one dat have one funny name mark pon it name Galliwasp. Mi canfront mi man “Stuie” bout it and im tell sey a im one time girlfren but im noh have nutten fi do wid dat gal cause she a noh one real Jamaican. Mi ask im why im lie to mi bout im age an hear im to mi noh …. Wooooh , Ms Pinkey it look like di food mi nyam Dennys a work pon mi belly..mi a run goh a tielet mi soon come back **click**
PinkeyLou: Mi mine tell mi sey a bogus story dis ooman agi wi eenoh John Public! A con she try con wi pon di radio yuhnoh.. mek she eva call back yah… Next Caller:
Islandmutt: Pinkey Love, mi marriage is in trubble. Si troo I deh pon di Internet marning, noon an night I buck up pan a nice lady sey shi name brownsugga . Fus mi ask har weh she located, den mi ask har what is har favorite hobbie .. She tell mi sey she live in di big apple and she love to sing and goh a dance goh wine up harself.. She all tell mi sey har internet name is because she brown and sweet and look like Hallie Berry..Lawd a Gad mi kin ketch fire when mi hear dat! Mi marriage done now! It mash up clean! Mi wife fine an all but she caan sing fi save har life..Ooman soun like croaking lizzaad ina di showa. Pinkey weh mi fi do? Should I ask mi wife fi a divorce now?
PinkeyLou: [/b] One question mi have fi yuh sar? Yuh seh she tell yuh seh shi fava Hallie Berry – right? ..Did yuh ask Ms Brownsugga fi sen yuh a pictra??.. Whe yuh seh? NO! Before yuh goh lef yuh wife fi smaddy weh goodly feva Hallie Beava, I would suggest yuh ask har fi a pictra she mus have one she sending to Tom, Dick an Harry ova di net.. Unu man always quick fi jump pon ooman pon computa an noh know how dem tan.. Unnu not so wise a tell yuh..Next calla! Pinkey is here for you..
Alpha: Auntie Pinkey.. I calling fram all di Jamaica to talk to yuh. Ms Pinkey mi a goh a farrin dis weekend an a have a question fi ask..Is farrin ina NewYark or Miami mam?
PinkeyLou: Mi live a Miami so my guess is farrin is definitely ina Miami
b]Alpha: [/b] MI KNOW MAN!! Dem people tek mi fi ediat ! dem tell mi bout farrin deh a New Yark .. some people dark an fool yu si Ms Pinkey..
[/b] PinkeyLou: [/b] Tell di hole a dem sey dem a eediat!Dem noh know Farrin fram unu 2nd yard! Miami is farrin and New Yaark is 2nd yard!!!! Some a dem deh ah Merica fi tirty odd yrs an noh know which part ah Merica is Farrin! dem should a shame ah demself!! A who yuh did a talk to Ms Alpha?
Alpha: : Noh di AirJamaica people dem mah! Everybady weh wok deh backwod an ignorant like mi noh know wha ..dats why mi glad mi noh wok deh noh more.. tanks yaah Ms Pinkey. One Love sistren! ..farrin here I comes!!
[/b] PinkeyLou: [/b] Safe travel yaah mi fren an when yuh reach a farrin tel dem Cubans fi stap bawl of likkle Elian. Dat lickle bway haffi learn fi swim come a farrin like di res a dem.
BlessedLadyof Zion: Ms Pinkey sarry bout dat but likkle most mi sh*t up miself. Back to di story now. Yes bout di age ting.. di bwaay tell mi sey im a 22 and mi modda dun tell mi sey im olda dan dat. When mi tell im sey mi Modda know im fram Nationsbank im call mi madda a dam stinking dutty liad! Ms Pinkey A caan believe dis man tell mi so much lie an pan tap a dat call mi mumma lyad! I gi him wan ***** lick crass him face an grab fe him car keys an guh a mi yawd. Yuh noh tink a ginal im a ginal mi noh Ms Lou?
[/b] PinkeyLou: [/b] Dis is di story yuh have John Public a wait pon? Yuh soun like smaddy weh a ginal people yuhself cause dat deh cack an bull story deh noh mek one drap a sense.. Walk good sista! (sounding tired ).. Next caller please..
Aimé N.L.L.L. Olenga: You lady, how dare you hang up on me?! I am open to talk to the people ..give me a chance.. (music starts to play)
PinkeyLou: What do you know..we are out of time Aime..Pleasura talking to you.. **ckick**.. Join mi next time, same place when Ms Pinkey will be talking about the growing trend of White ooman who love di Rasta buddy”. Till then, tek care an be careful out dere cause “hosanna is coming”… I AM OUT!! PEACE!
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PinkeyLou: Good afternoon Radio Land and welcome to anader edition of the Pinkey-Link Show . Yes people gi mi a link a di station an tell mi if something is bothering you and Auntie Lou wi tell yuh wha fi do. So let's hear it people, gimmie all of those weird habits, prablems and secrets and don't hold anyting back!!!!! The number to call is 1-888-PINKY-LINK…. Hello First caller what yuh have to tell Auntie Pinkey?
Jamdown3: Hello?..Hello any bady dere? am I on di HAIR?
PinkeyLou: Yes caller yuh on di “hair”, turn down yuh radio..what can I do for you?
Jamdown3: Yes I want to sen a big shot out to ma’ girl [b[Pepper[/b] who havin a birtday today… Peppa mi fren mi a go try mek some homminy carn fi yuh birtday cause mi bun up di cake... Ms Pinkey can a mek a special sang request fi mi sistren?
PinkeyLou: hey yuh likkle Friten Friday, dis is nat BarryG nar Alan Magnus… doan call back mi show fi wish yuh gingbang fren dem noh more happy birtday! **click**.. After all!! Next caller Please!
Thirdeye: Aftanoon Ms Pinkey. Today I want to talk you you about a very strange habit mi have of going out wid man and then finding out dem unemployed, uneducated, live in dem mama basement and unmotivated ! I'm in this no-brotha-havin Seattle. Mek mi warn all di ladies out dere - UNU NOH COME DUNG YAH LOOKIN' FI NO MAN!! Wos of all, dem Sons-a-b*tches are all JA-FAKE-ANS!! Can a sista fine a good brother with a real Jamaican accent – dag!...
PinkeyLou: Easy sista! I can give you a number a reputable brother who is a real Jamaican. Notten noh fake bout him. Im name Rasta_minded One . Don’t be fooled by di name sista..im is a real dread even dowe im admit sey im nyam powk.Tell im Pinkey sen yu – airght? Next caller..Talk to mi
[/b] Empress Marsha:[/b] Pinkey I feel so bad for dat lady..Poor ting. Nat a man in har life but fimi bad habit dem wos dan fi har own dem. Mi have some dirty habits weh noh fit fi air play but mi a let unu pon some still. Strangely mi always a play wid mi ti-ti dem..Noh badda tink mi is a freak mi jus like si mi nipple dem stan up stiff an pinted! Mi also love fi sleep naked, but misis masquita woulda kill mi a nighttime so now mi cova up wid blanket noh matta how hat di temperatra bi! I get a kick out of playing wid mi bwayfren rollie-rollie hair una im arm pit to…
PinkeyLou: Yuh to? Mi love dat to mi fren but tek it fram mi .. be careful how yuh play unda dem armpit. One day mi did a play wid mi bwayfren armpit an mi buck up pon a whole nest a lice a run up an dung unda deh. Fram mi barn mi neva know sey lice grow unda arm pit! Gal fram dat day mi noh goh deh soh again misis..Tek care a yuself an keep dose breast purky!..
Alabaster: Mistress PinkeyLou mi hoff heye warter streaming down mi jaw..I can't put on a bathing suit over all these lumps and bumps and mi behine get so big dat mi husban a call mi Bull Doza batty! Mi get up dis marning an I CAN'T FIT HENNY HOFF MY SUMMER CLOTHES!!! *sniffle-sniffle*. Yuh know hoff any herbal diets dat won’t gi mi running belly Ms Pinkey?
PinkeyLou: Oh Lowd- Hercules!! Hercules!!. Hush yaah mi chile, if yuh batty big like fi mi try put on a sharts ova di a bathsuit ... If it too broad yuh might waan jus figet bout di badingsuit ting all togeda an tan a yuh yaad… (phone line flashes) Yes Caller, you have something to add?
Lawx: I want to know is wha she a complain bout? She noh have a ting fi worry har Pinkey..Suppose she si how fimi foot a stretch out lang like train line?! Mi shoes size gaan quite uppa numba 15!! An mi start out at 6! Atleast badingsuit can stretch.. fimi boot caan stretch a backside no matta how much wet paypa mi set ina it ovanight!! Chat bout!
PinkeyLou: : Yuh hear dat Ms Overweight? Cheer Up love..all it mean is dat yuh need fi goh buy clothes dat cut bigga an wida..Happy shopping! Next Caller.. what’s up?
Jeanie: Auntie Pink, I have a prablem holding dung gas. Sometimes Ms Pinkie mi deh fart bout 100 miles per di hour. When dem talk bout Pooping tempa, a mi dat. Yuh si all when I dun finish my Sunday dinner and drink off mi Guinness punch – everybady know she dem betta clear outta de room an run fi cova!!! Ms Pinky, I remember me and mi young man used to have pooping contest fi si who could fart the loudest in bed an den wi pull de sheets ova wi head. Well Ms Pinkey, one night im tek in one a mi fart dem an it nearly damage up im inside structra. Mi sey mi friten when mi si di man yeye dem tun ova ina im head an im drop off di bed stone stiff!! When im recova im tell mi sey im a lef mi cause im neva know sey a so mi belly rotten an smell like smaddy dead in deh.
PinkeyLou: Ooooohhh My Lord Jeanie! Auntie Pinkey have a little story fi share wid yuh fi mek yuh feel beta bout yuh prablem ….. Mi memba when mi did just start date mi sweetheart I did have a serious gas problem miself. Yuh know how wi woman love gwaan like wi a Ms fit and sh*t when wi waan impress man? Jeanie one day mi a do sit ups and di man infront a mi a hold dung mi foot. Mi feel a likkle gas out fi leggo an mi tell im sey mi caan do noh more cause mi know what was about to happen… All mi a try tell im sey mi done im still a sey “c’mon baby, one more for daddy”.. well mi goh fi do di laas one an Mi dear chile- mi leggo one long, truck horn sounding, stinking fart inna im face lick im out fi six! Jeanie, a CPR mi did have fi use fi revive di man yuhnoh! So doan feel shame yaah sweetie ..fram dat day my motto is “Let fart be free” If it a goh kill smaddy – is nat gwine mi me..Chat bout! Next caller …what’s up?
Caller: Hi Ms Pinkey, ..lissen I am calling unanimously to admit that I have a very strange habit I caan help… Mi pick it up in mi early 20s Ms Lou and mi shame a it so til.
PinkeyLou: So why yuh calling unanimously ..dis is radio yuhnoh..nobaddy nat gwine si yuh face..Jus gi mi a bogus name man.
Caller: No man Ms Pinkey, mi noh tink noh name necessary. Mi deh pon di down low cause mi fraid fi mek mi wife know bout dis one. Jus call mi “PetaPan” airight.. Well troo mi lang and lenky, mi fine it easiea fi piss ina di batrom sink. Di tielet too far dung. So fi mi convenience mi jus tan up an spray di sink when mi ready fi pee-pee..
PinkeyLou: MISTA KALIKAN??? A YUH DAT??..
Caller: (trembling voice) No No No! Ms Pinky I no name noh Kalikan .. a who name soh?
PinkeyLou; I remember you from another show. I pick up yuh vize good good .. last week yuh call mi show when wi was talking about phobias an yuh call di show an tell di whole worl sey yuh noh fraida nuten. How duppy caan friten yuh an yuh noh fraid fi lack up inna car trunk an blah blah. Mi Memba yuh was a call everybdy else fraidy fraidy ...So Kalikan a how yuh soun so fraidy fraidy tidey? If I nat mistaken yuh sey yuh “fraid” yuh wife fine out. Kalikan, yuh is a nasty wrtech!! An I doan know how yuh wife put up wid di nassiness! Mrs Kalikan I would advise yuh not to pick up di teetpaste back from outta dat sink when it drop off a di teetbrush. Yuh in fi a renking surprise!…
Kalikan: Ms Lady, yuh neva haffi shame mi soh yuhnoh an come call out mi name pon radio!! ..All di time when mi talk di troot unu ack friten and ready fi criticize people ..Unu kiss mi R**s cause unu a galang like a fi unu sink mi a piss inna !! **click**
PinkeyLou: What dah hell wrang wid dat man eeh? Kalikan if yuh still a lissen, mi still tink yuh nassy ..remine mi fi noh come a yuh yaard.. Yuh mek mi stomach sick! Next caller ..chat to mi!
Jambrit: Marning Ms Pinkey. I are calling cause mi waan know something.. I watching di TV laas night an si dat show dem call “Survivor. What mi waan fi know yuh si, yuh tink dem ave tings like soap, deodarant, tilet paypa, tootbrush/tootpace, nail clip, q-tip, Stayfree, Douche, lotion, Masquita destroya and dem tings deh? Mi did a watch a likkle paat haf di show han Laad, fagive mi, but dem did look well naasy like dem cudda do wid a good srub dung. How people can look soh dutty an crawny fi $1 million dalla I don’t know!
PinkeyLou: Mi neva watch di show, but fi $1 million dallaz...HELL Yeah mi wooda tan black like dem mad people yuh si si outta street. Mi woulda nyam all rat, bat, worm, four bullfrag, ticks – whateva!! 1 million dallaz a nuff money! Enough fi mek mi quit disyah half dead talk show mi have yah.. Unu tan deh! wha unu a goh do when di mark a de beast come? mi done tell heverybody dat awready sey A BUSH MI A GO LIVE!!! Chat bout!!! … Tan deh fool yuhself ..anybady agree wid mi – link mi!
Sandif: Yes Pinkey – a soh mi sey to I would do it! I agree wid yuh. Mi woulda chew pon daag flea fi a million dalla to backside! Mi a goh sign up fi di next show – watch! A dawg heart gyal dis a talk to yuh eehnoh Ms Pinkey. Mi noh ramp fi kill fly and step pon cockroach like a noh nutten ..Nutten noh phase mi a Blurtnaught ….Rahtid hole! One slug jus jump inna wash basin . …. MUUURRRRDDAAA!!! .. MUUURRRRDDAAA!!! (stumbling noise) **Click**
PinkeyLou: But a how dat deh daag heart ooman sey she noh fraid nutten an a galang so bad ova likkle slug worm..But kiss mi bumpa – a wha goh so!.. Caller on line four ..talk to mi
Aimé N.L.L.L. Olenga: Alleluia, alleluia, hosanna is comin. I come to share my views with.. ….
**click**..
PinkeyLou: MISTA PHONE MECHANIC I tink I did ask Management fi put a block on dat calla! Mi noh waan im call mi show a R***! Unu block im out mi seh!! Next calla!
Bandido1: Ms Pink, noh mek dat Aimee creature run up yuh blood pressure yaah. Yuh wooda beleeve seh afta yuh hang di phone pan im so much time, im wood bi intellegent enuff fi realize seh im calling di wrang show an im tawking to di wrang bunch a peeple. Mi nuh have noh intress in di " Congo, bongo wanga dingy! Alungo mifungo comfungo.” dat spew uotta fi im mout soh mi noh wrang yuh.. Anyway Pinks, mi call yuh fi fine out if a troo sey smaddy a call yuh a pose as a sistren wen im is reely a bredda! Mi mine tell mi a who but mi talk..
PinkeyLou: Mista sar why yuh noh jus seh is who an don
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[/b] BlessedLadyof Zion: Hi Ms. Pinkey, I am so glad I finally get troo to di program causen sey have a man a my yaard weh a try con mi an it naah goh so! Pinkey here yah now. Dis man wi agoh call im “Stui” . De amount a lie weh dis man dun tell mi gal it come in like im a 4 smaddy ina one! Whe dem call dem? Skizofrantic?! Well fus im tell mi a 22 and dat im doan have noh odda woman but mi. Im claim sey im noh own noh pickney but one gal a try gi im jacket. Well one day wi guh exercise (wi walk go all di way to Dennys) an when wi come back im lef mi fi tek a showa . When mi goh ina im draw fi a towel.. Mi dear Ma! What a ting mi guh buck up pan inna de towel draw!............
PinkeyLou: Wha yuh si ..sling shot baggy?
BlessedLadyof Zion: Ms Pinkey sarry but mi hear di door bell a ring..a mus mi girlfirend a come pick mi up fi goh a Dennys. Mi wi call yuh back when mi come back…
PinkeyLou: Wait!noh hang up yet (**click**).. but unu si mi dying trial.. a how she a go lef di public ina suspense soh… I only hope she know dis is a 1 hour show an mi noh have all day a wait. Next caller please…
Jooks: I tink dat blasted ooman dat jus call waan wan lick inna har ead! Wi haffi siddung yah wait til she done full har belly an ahno like she ahgo nyam anyting good ah Dennys. Mi tink smaddy did bun dung dat racist place lang time! Anyway Ms Pinkey while mi on di phone yuh know whe mi caan get two breadfruit fi teif …mi mean buy. Seems dere is a shartage of quality breshe dese days
PinkeyLou:
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Kingman: Sista Pinkey what I want to ask yuh si is it me the ediot or is it that when jamaican women come here dem hair seem to grow so till people a ask dem a what numba dat dem a wear. is dat sometimg yuh notice or mi is jus insane?
PinkeyLou: Yes caller- yuh is a ediot an yuh is insane.. Any other questions?
Kingman: ohhhh suh unu nuh want fess up to de troot?? Eh unu well an know weh mi a tawk bout. Nuff people goh a Jamaica and everbody ask dem a what numba wig dem a wear... so tap gwaan like say a fart mi a tawk
Pinkeylou: Hole an deh! is what yuh a try fi seh now? Dat when wi deh a Jamaica we salt if mi noh wear di right numba wig?
Hotti: (patched in on another line) Ms Pinkeu Yuh have time a kip up hargument wid di iggle bwaay. Kingman yuh couldn find nuttin betta fi chat bout pon di radio?
Kingman: Hey gal, you nah seh nothing, so jus shut up…it betta mi chat foolishnis dan nuh chat nuttin a tall. Is nat all di time mi love talk HUMAROUS TINGS!
Hotti: I Have a feeling dis bwaay doan work cause a ongly iggle smaddy tink up dem deh siting fi cawl an chat pon public radio. Ms Pinkey I was calling to just ask yuh if yuh did si Jamaicans.com Emmy show pon TV last night?.. Mi tink some a di Award dem was frig up. Di gal Bashey shoulda get bashment girl of di yr but dem gi har di “Man Trap” award. Den yuh did si how Jadine she just get up an callect award a not a soul noh naminate har fi nutten? An poor Churchgirl dem neva even gi har not one award fi all what she have done.
PinkeyLou: Ms Lady noh badda come feel sarry fi Churchgirl yuhnoh, becausen sey look how mi a big radio celabrity an not one smaddy did call mi name laas night fi get any award. Mek dem tan deh wid dem pieca gold statue..di whole a dem who run dat show can GOH DEAD A BUSH !!.. Tanks for calling but dis is not di right time fi dat subject .. **click** Who is on line tree? ..talk to mi!
Cho: Pinkey my girl!..whappen? Mi tink yuh shoulda get one prize fi true. No mine Yaah. But yuh si how mi get fi mi big award dowe.. But Ms Pinkie yuh know sey black people bad minded bad? As mi step outta di show laas night fi goh a mi yaad smaddy sail dutch pat an lick mi crass mi head! ~*Twitch*~ Mi sey a noh likkle lick mi get ina fi mi headskull yuhnoh..Christ man! Dem a goh tun mi ina vegetable before time. ~*Twitch*~
PinkeyLou: Serve yuh right! Yuh head shoulda split ina two.. Hurry up an sey what yuh have to sey an mek mi move on to di next calla man!
Cho: But ms Pinkey, is how yuh so miserable mam? ~*Twitch*~ bad blessing will falla yuh eenoh ..yuh mussin sey dem tings . Anyway, couple tings a baada mi fram wah day ~*Twitch*~ Why is it yuh caan fine a good Dankey sales rep dese days..Mi buy one dankey an di half dead mule dem nuh worth a faart! Mi tun roun now an start breeding mi owna Dankey dem an donkey worshippers a call mi demon cause mi gi di dankey sex. But is not like sey is nat consented sex!! What dese farmers an butchers want from mi? ~*Twitch*~ Those who have ears to listen then listen, because di donkey did come...alleluia di donkey did come.
PinkeyLou: Mista man - come af di rahtid radio wid yuh ramblings. Di lick yuh get wid di blasted dutchie pot tun yuh ina one real half ediat. Can I get one smaddy on the phone widout mental prablems?? Next caller please!
Q3210: (very low screechy voice). MaddaPinkey..how yuh do?
PinkeyLou: Odda dan mi bex sey mi noh get namination fi not one award and dat dam dankey rapist piss mi off, mi is just fabulous sir..what can I do fi yuh
Q3210: (still in a low voice).Yes Ms Pinks. Mi calling about a serious prablem mi a endurance fi ten yrs now. Mi hab a serious addiction to drugs. Yuh noh si mi caan even talk loud. Di whole heap a cigarette smoking pun up mi windpipe an mi vize noh too strang like before.. Sista Pinkey mi trying to kick dis habit but when mi lick di chalice, mi start fly like a butterfly and sting like a bees… Mi sniff cocaine like when Jancrow a sniff dead cow backside. Sista Pinkey what is yuh suggestian how mi caan get rid a dis monkey affa mi back?
PinkeyLou: Since mi is nat a druggist mi ago mek a caller ansa dat.. Anybody who have any advise fi dis drug infested man call mi..
Sierrasusieq: Hello Ms Pinkey if di genkle man is still on di line tell im fi change di drugs dem im use. Fi years now mi a use drugs like WHITE wine, BLACK coffee and RED hot slam head ina di wall sex!!! Di white wine wi mek im feel mellow like chellow, di black coffee wi boos im energy and if di laas one noh mek im “cum” around den im have bigga prablems dan drugs!
Pinkeylou: Thank you sista..I hope Mista Q3210 was teking notes ..any bodyelse out there want to give dis man furda advise?
Queen: Yes Good aftanoon. I am calling to fine out if yuh can gi mi a recipe fi jackass carn ..fram wah day mi a feel fi some jackass carn….
Pinkelyou: Hi Ms lady – wrang show! Please to call Di Jazz_Recipe of di Week Program on di odda radio station .. Wi noh have noh recipe fi jack-*** carn here ..wi talking about Drugs now.. Ta-ta! … AGAIN! any bodyelse out there want to give dis man furda advise?
Wendy: Yes Pinkey Mi sistren! Yuh si a dem people deh mi caan tek who love call big people show a change di subject yuh noh.. Now a whe di hell she a goh wid di Jackass carn argument yah now ?! **kiss teet** A tell yuh some people not so bright a tall.. anyway Ms Pinkey, back to di topic. Mi notice fram di odda day sey mi white mug have one black rim pon it and I tink dat is racist ..Yuh agree wid mi Auntie Pinkey?
PinkeyLou: (hangs up the phone on caller).. Fi di laas time.. ANY R*** SMADDY OUT DERE WANT TO GIVE DIS MAN FURDA ADVISE? An unu doan call yah wid unu foolishness dat doan have nuttin fi do wid di tapic!! ..cho Blouse and skirt! Si how unu mek mi a cuss badwod pon di public radio…
Adele: Hello Ms Lou… I was just watching a program on the effects of drugs and dem sey even dough di weed have di least effects, it wi kils off some yuh brain cells. It look like is dat happen to di one dat jus call name Kingman. Im sound like smaddy whe smoke soh much weed dat im en up a chat fart all day. Mi naah seY mi perfect because mi tek a one draw to an mi a wear mi Nicotine patch right now but some people doan really undastan sey drugs a one serious ting. My advice to Q3210 is to use music fi get a high. Dat a my strangest addiction now.. I should really be a D.J for the amount of music I buy…Whapen? unu have any opening dung a di station fi a DJ Auntie Pink?
PinkeyLou: Tanks yuh fi calling di show Ms, but if yuh a look DJ jab galang goh call Irie FM and ask fi MagaAman.. a him a run tings dung deh… Time to pay some bills.. This program has been brought to you by The *** ltd. – the largest retailer in Bellevue outfits. We’ll be back after this commercial break ..stay tuned
Commercial music
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PinkeyLou: Welcome back to our program. I personally endorse the *** ltd. Dem selll some “mad-***” clothes! Get out there and support dem please!.. Caller on line two ..talk to mi.
CWEE: Pinkey Babylove.. Yuh have a Dacta degree sexy Ms?
PinkeyLou: Is who yuh a call sexy? ..oooh neva mine … mi sexy fi troot. No! mi is plain plain Auntie Pinkey no Dacta in dese viens. Why yuh ask?
Cwee: Well sexy, I canvince I need a Therapist. I have too many girls, smoke too much weed, cuss too much and I am too dam pre-occupied with sex. I tink bout sex every quarta second..mi have sex wid any an everybady ! Mi noh fraid fi sey mi sex all miself sometimes. I tell yuh, Sexual frustration is a ***** ..I’ll be dammed!! Yuh know what Big Bumpa Pinkey? I strangly believe sey di “baggy” is di root a mi prablem. How can a man stay focus when a ooman baggyless?? I walk paas Victoria Sectret an si dem Stiff dally a maggle di new frilly high cut baggy dem an a feel like a woulda jump pon dat Mannequin an sex out every plastic whe mek har!!
PinkeyLou: Saviour Bwaay, yuh is a sick Freak!! I hear dere is a Therapist on line one.. Hello Doctor ..can you help this man out of his misery?
Secret Lover: What im need Pinkey is a practicing therapist who uses the “hands-on” method like me. As a matter of fact, I have a time slot available this Saturday. Mr CeeW yuh want to meet mi at about say 10ish a’clack?. You can si what I am about at my web site at www.lovetherapist org(anism).com. Mi is a ooman dat can hangle some good wok!..oooops mi mean mi “do some good wok”. Trus mi, mi can fix im problem!
Cwee: Look here Ms. Lady Lover Woman Smaddy, please to doan come rise mi nature and incriment mi temper. Ok? Kindly mek di appointment wid mi and doan try call me out ina big old John Public. Everybody we see which one a we a walk and step wide when yuh outta street. Mi wi si yuh 11 minutes past 10ish Saturday night.
PinkeyLou: Blowz an skirt dah man yah naa romp wid di one bag a talking! Bwoy yuh full a big chat jus mek sure seh yuh can defend dat! Docter SL please to call back di show next week an tell us how di wok goh.. dat a if yuh can git up fi use di phone (laughing)…wooiii mi belly. Next caller please
Mire: Afatnoon. MsPinkey something embarrassing happen to mi laas night yuh si.. a shame a shame a shame so til…Please to noh shame mi Ms Pinkey cause mi pregnant an kina fragile now... Anyway, mi naw gi yuh much details all mi a goh seh is true mi pregnant mi was trying to feel good bout miself so mi decide fi sexy up miself an dance fi mi husband. Mi had a nice pretty see-troo nightie – dem young people call it “lingerie”. Mi come hout a di bawthroom a moggle fi mi husband an ting an when mi look pon im face it wasn’t looking so pleasant.. Lawd Pinkey I started to feel like im neva like how mi look ina di lingerie ..Mi ask im “honey wha mek yuh amek up yuh face, mi look fat?.. Di man laugh afta mi an tell mi sey if mi noh si di Lingerie put on backwods an di back part hitch up ina mi behine. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] Oh Savior Pinkey..doan laugh but a feel like a coulda bag mi face mi tell yuh… I wonda if because mi pregnant why mi tun fool soh
PinkeyLou: (laughing hard)..wooiii mi belly – sarry mam but a di bes joke mi get since di program start. Neva mine ..just tell yuh husband sey atleast yuh naah come a bed ina dutty head ***** an tear up T-shirt. Have a good day love…. Woiii Merci – a dying.. who is coming Next? Talk to Pinkey..
BlessedLadyof Zion: Is mi again Ms Pinkey.. good ting di line wasn’t busy..as mi was saying mi open up di draw an si FOUR ENVELOPE! But di one weh ketch mi yeye is di one dat have one funny name mark pon it name Galliwasp. Mi canfront mi man “Stuie” bout it and im tell sey a im one time girlfren but im noh have nutten fi do wid dat gal cause she a noh one real Jamaican. Mi ask im why im lie to mi bout im age an hear im to mi noh …. Wooooh , Ms Pinkey it look like di food mi nyam Dennys a work pon mi belly..mi a run goh a tielet mi soon come back **click**
PinkeyLou: Mi mine tell mi sey a bogus story dis ooman agi wi eenoh John Public! A con she try con wi pon di radio yuhnoh.. mek she eva call back yah… Next Caller:
Islandmutt: Pinkey Love, mi marriage is in trubble. Si troo I deh pon di Internet marning, noon an night I buck up pan a nice lady sey shi name brownsugga . Fus mi ask har weh she located, den mi ask har what is har favorite hobbie .. She tell mi sey she live in di big apple and she love to sing and goh a dance goh wine up harself.. She all tell mi sey har internet name is because she brown and sweet and look like Hallie Berry..Lawd a Gad mi kin ketch fire when mi hear dat! Mi marriage done now! It mash up clean! Mi wife fine an all but she caan sing fi save har life..Ooman soun like croaking lizzaad ina di showa. Pinkey weh mi fi do? Should I ask mi wife fi a divorce now?
PinkeyLou: [/b] One question mi have fi yuh sar? Yuh seh she tell yuh seh shi fava Hallie Berry – right? ..Did yuh ask Ms Brownsugga fi sen yuh a pictra??.. Whe yuh seh? NO! Before yuh goh lef yuh wife fi smaddy weh goodly feva Hallie Beava, I would suggest yuh ask har fi a pictra she mus have one she sending to Tom, Dick an Harry ova di net.. Unu man always quick fi jump pon ooman pon computa an noh know how dem tan.. Unnu not so wise a tell yuh..Next calla! Pinkey is here for you..
Alpha: Auntie Pinkey.. I calling fram all di Jamaica to talk to yuh. Ms Pinkey mi a goh a farrin dis weekend an a have a question fi ask..Is farrin ina NewYark or Miami mam?
PinkeyLou: Mi live a Miami so my guess is farrin is definitely ina Miami
b]Alpha: [/b] MI KNOW MAN!! Dem people tek mi fi ediat ! dem tell mi bout farrin deh a New Yark .. some people dark an fool yu si Ms Pinkey..
[/b] PinkeyLou: [/b] Tell di hole a dem sey dem a eediat!Dem noh know Farrin fram unu 2nd yard! Miami is farrin and New Yaark is 2nd yard!!!! Some a dem deh ah Merica fi tirty odd yrs an noh know which part ah Merica is Farrin! dem should a shame ah demself!! A who yuh did a talk to Ms Alpha?
Alpha: : Noh di AirJamaica people dem mah! Everybady weh wok deh backwod an ignorant like mi noh know wha ..dats why mi glad mi noh wok deh noh more.. tanks yaah Ms Pinkey. One Love sistren! ..farrin here I comes!!
[/b] PinkeyLou: [/b] Safe travel yaah mi fren an when yuh reach a farrin tel dem Cubans fi stap bawl of likkle Elian. Dat lickle bway haffi learn fi swim come a farrin like di res a dem.
BlessedLadyof Zion: Ms Pinkey sarry bout dat but likkle most mi sh*t up miself. Back to di story now. Yes bout di age ting.. di bwaay tell mi sey im a 22 and mi modda dun tell mi sey im olda dan dat. When mi tell im sey mi Modda know im fram Nationsbank im call mi madda a dam stinking dutty liad! Ms Pinkey A caan believe dis man tell mi so much lie an pan tap a dat call mi mumma lyad! I gi him wan ***** lick crass him face an grab fe him car keys an guh a mi yawd. Yuh noh tink a ginal im a ginal mi noh Ms Lou?
[/b] PinkeyLou: [/b] Dis is di story yuh have John Public a wait pon? Yuh soun like smaddy weh a ginal people yuhself cause dat deh cack an bull story deh noh mek one drap a sense.. Walk good sista! (sounding tired ).. Next caller please..
Aimé N.L.L.L. Olenga: You lady, how dare you hang up on me?! I am open to talk to the people ..give me a chance.. (music starts to play)
PinkeyLou: What do you know..we are out of time Aime..Pleasura talking to you.. **ckick**.. Join mi next time, same place when Ms Pinkey will be talking about the growing trend of White ooman who love di Rasta buddy”. Till then, tek care an be careful out dere cause “hosanna is coming”… I AM OUT!! PEACE!