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And it came to pass that jesus and his disciples were in a place called galilee,
and the people followed him because they heard how riveting his sermons were.
One of the disciples had put the word about that after every sermons goody bags were handed out to everyone who attended.
And jesus settled on a mountain and the people gathered around him,
some in the audience began to moan about jesus`s choice of location for the sermon.
"den yu mean fe tell mi him could`n fine someweh bettah fe preach,a clear up disyah mountin him mek people come "...?
Jesus began his preaching,...and after a while the people became hungry,and some began to moan again....
"bwoy hungry a buss mi shut,smaddy tell him fe hurry
up,or tap de preaching,mek people go fine sinting fe eat".
And jesus hearing all the commotion called for his disciple philip,..Lang tone !....lang tone !
on hearing the name philip quickly rushed to jesus`s side and whispered out the corner of his mouth.
"Jesus,ease up pon de name no man,yu no hear mi seh no call mi dat infront a people man "
Meanwhile the people on hearing the name lang tone began to laugh and mock..
Lang tone ! lang tone !..they chanted,
Mi tink a did philip him name,how come my man deh a call him lang tone",to which another answered..
"bwoy de a two a dem a fren,dem know dem one a neddah biznizz"
Jesus on seeing philip`s embarassment sought to calm down the crowd,
"People !people !...anno lang tone mi did mean fe seh,,
a philip mi did mean fe seh but mi mout slip an it come out as lang tone"
but the people were not convinced...."yeah right" ! shouted someone at the back
Jesus turned to philip and said,..."phil,yu live roun yah,yu know anybaddy mi can truss some food from"..?
philip replied...."bwoy mi know a man who run a shop but him seh ongle yu fadah him truss".
Suddenly there was a commotion in the crowd,and a lot of scuffling and raising of tempers,
the crowd opens up and out came andrew holding a schoolboy firmly in his waistband.
"Yo big man low mi no,how yu a drape mi up so boss",shouted the agitated youngster.
Andrew roughly pushes the young man down infront of jesus and said,..
"dis youtman a mask off food innah him school bag,check de bag".
He grabs the school bag and begins to rifle through it,he throws out a...a ratchet knife,a uzi sub machine gun,a penthouse magazine...(which he quickly puts in his back pocket)...a lighter,a large bag of weed, an assortment of ruff rider condoms,...and a brown bag containing 5 coco bread and two patties.
"Seet deh jesus,a dat mi a talk bout,...de bwoy wicked an bad,him have food an si seh people a dead fe hungry"
On seeing the contents of the brown bag the crowd surge forward ..."food !! food !! they cried,
Jesus puts up his hand and beckons the people to stop,..".unnu juss cease an sekkle,
a juss likkle bit a food dis,dis cyaan feed all a unnu",
"Den work some magic pon dat no boss,"shouted someone,..."turn dat innah white rum"
Jesus turns to andrew and said,....."andy,jesas christ man,a wah yah gwaan wid,yu mek mi affi call out mi own name in vain,...how yu expect mi fe feed summuch people
wid 5 coco bread an two patty"...?
Andrew replied,.".juss cool man,run wid de program,yu done know tings can gwaan wid dat,
mi si yu do wickedah tings dat dat boss man".
Jesus attempts to assure the people,
"listen up,mi need some silence,mi need fe concentrate,no interruption,smaddy shet up de likkle pickney a back deh fimme"
Jesus lowers his head and whisper under his breath,.....
"daddy,daddy ,...yu diddeh..? rope een,mi need yu pon dah one yah"
There was a pause....then.."erm..sorry daddy mi figet seh yu still deh a bed,
mi did figet seh yu and moses did go check out de new club dung a soddom an gomorroh last night".
There was another pause....."no daddy mi no trim mi hair yet sah,....no sar,anno rasta mi a tun,but a kinda de fashion,
de whole a mi crew dem have long hair sar"
Another pause......"but daddy mi did mean fe go a barbah when yu did mek de appointment,
but de said day smaddy did run come call mi seh lazzy juss drop dead,an mi did affi go deal wid dat,...yu
membah de bredren yu did help mi raise aftah him tun duppy",...yes sah him same one,de one yu
raise from de dead".
The people started to get noisy and boisterous,philip and andrew ducked as a couple redstripe bottles came sailing pass their head narrowly missing jesus.
"A when dem aggo mek man eat a food,..cho!...yo boss,tell yu bredren fe stop de whispering an gi man food".
Suddenly there were coco bread and patties in abundance,the people ate,and ate,
some had 5 coco bread with a patty in each,while some just chose to have ten patties without any coco bread,..
..others just opted for coco bread on its own,....some rastas in the crowd just ate the pastry on the patty and threw the meat away,while some of their bredrens ate coco bread and put the patties in their pockets.....for the dogs they said
Later when the crowd had ate and were all satisfied jesus told the disciples to collect all the leftovers,
they gathered all the leftovers and it came to twelve full baskets.
And some people in the crowd started to moan...."den a weh dem tink dem a go wid dem whole heap a crumbs deh
anybaddy roun yah look like bud to dem"..?
Even philip was unsure what to do with the leftovers,...he turned to andrew and whispered.
Yo andy,..a weh yu tink mi muss do wid dem yah whole heap a crumbs crumbs...?
And lo and behold andrew spoke.....wait till de boss naw look an dash dem over gully man ,nobaddy naw eat no nyam an lef".
and the people followed him because they heard how riveting his sermons were.
One of the disciples had put the word about that after every sermons goody bags were handed out to everyone who attended.
And jesus settled on a mountain and the people gathered around him,
some in the audience began to moan about jesus`s choice of location for the sermon.
"den yu mean fe tell mi him could`n fine someweh bettah fe preach,a clear up disyah mountin him mek people come "...?
Jesus began his preaching,...and after a while the people became hungry,and some began to moan again....
"bwoy hungry a buss mi shut,smaddy tell him fe hurry
up,or tap de preaching,mek people go fine sinting fe eat".
And jesus hearing all the commotion called for his disciple philip,..Lang tone !....lang tone !
on hearing the name philip quickly rushed to jesus`s side and whispered out the corner of his mouth.
"Jesus,ease up pon de name no man,yu no hear mi seh no call mi dat infront a people man "
Meanwhile the people on hearing the name lang tone began to laugh and mock..
Lang tone ! lang tone !..they chanted,
Mi tink a did philip him name,how come my man deh a call him lang tone",to which another answered..
"bwoy de a two a dem a fren,dem know dem one a neddah biznizz"
Jesus on seeing philip`s embarassment sought to calm down the crowd,
"People !people !...anno lang tone mi did mean fe seh,,
a philip mi did mean fe seh but mi mout slip an it come out as lang tone"
but the people were not convinced...."yeah right" ! shouted someone at the back
Jesus turned to philip and said,..."phil,yu live roun yah,yu know anybaddy mi can truss some food from"..?
philip replied...."bwoy mi know a man who run a shop but him seh ongle yu fadah him truss".
Suddenly there was a commotion in the crowd,and a lot of scuffling and raising of tempers,
the crowd opens up and out came andrew holding a schoolboy firmly in his waistband.
"Yo big man low mi no,how yu a drape mi up so boss",shouted the agitated youngster.
Andrew roughly pushes the young man down infront of jesus and said,..
"dis youtman a mask off food innah him school bag,check de bag".
He grabs the school bag and begins to rifle through it,he throws out a...a ratchet knife,a uzi sub machine gun,a penthouse magazine...(which he quickly puts in his back pocket)...a lighter,a large bag of weed, an assortment of ruff rider condoms,...and a brown bag containing 5 coco bread and two patties.
"Seet deh jesus,a dat mi a talk bout,...de bwoy wicked an bad,him have food an si seh people a dead fe hungry"
On seeing the contents of the brown bag the crowd surge forward ..."food !! food !! they cried,
Jesus puts up his hand and beckons the people to stop,..".unnu juss cease an sekkle,
a juss likkle bit a food dis,dis cyaan feed all a unnu",
"Den work some magic pon dat no boss,"shouted someone,..."turn dat innah white rum"
Jesus turns to andrew and said,....."andy,jesas christ man,a wah yah gwaan wid,yu mek mi affi call out mi own name in vain,...how yu expect mi fe feed summuch people
wid 5 coco bread an two patty"...?
Andrew replied,.".juss cool man,run wid de program,yu done know tings can gwaan wid dat,
mi si yu do wickedah tings dat dat boss man".
Jesus attempts to assure the people,
"listen up,mi need some silence,mi need fe concentrate,no interruption,smaddy shet up de likkle pickney a back deh fimme"
Jesus lowers his head and whisper under his breath,.....
"daddy,daddy ,...yu diddeh..? rope een,mi need yu pon dah one yah"
There was a pause....then.."erm..sorry daddy mi figet seh yu still deh a bed,
mi did figet seh yu and moses did go check out de new club dung a soddom an gomorroh last night".
There was another pause....."no daddy mi no trim mi hair yet sah,....no sar,anno rasta mi a tun,but a kinda de fashion,
de whole a mi crew dem have long hair sar"
Another pause......"but daddy mi did mean fe go a barbah when yu did mek de appointment,
but de said day smaddy did run come call mi seh lazzy juss drop dead,an mi did affi go deal wid dat,...yu
membah de bredren yu did help mi raise aftah him tun duppy",...yes sah him same one,de one yu
raise from de dead".
The people started to get noisy and boisterous,philip and andrew ducked as a couple redstripe bottles came sailing pass their head narrowly missing jesus.
"A when dem aggo mek man eat a food,..cho!...yo boss,tell yu bredren fe stop de whispering an gi man food".
Suddenly there were coco bread and patties in abundance,the people ate,and ate,
some had 5 coco bread with a patty in each,while some just chose to have ten patties without any coco bread,..
..others just opted for coco bread on its own,....some rastas in the crowd just ate the pastry on the patty and threw the meat away,while some of their bredrens ate coco bread and put the patties in their pockets.....for the dogs they said
Later when the crowd had ate and were all satisfied jesus told the disciples to collect all the leftovers,
they gathered all the leftovers and it came to twelve full baskets.
And some people in the crowd started to moan...."den a weh dem tink dem a go wid dem whole heap a crumbs deh
anybaddy roun yah look like bud to dem"..?
Even philip was unsure what to do with the leftovers,...he turned to andrew and whispered.
Yo andy,..a weh yu tink mi muss do wid dem yah whole heap a crumbs crumbs...?
And lo and behold andrew spoke.....wait till de boss naw look an dash dem over gully man ,nobaddy naw eat no nyam an lef".
What talent! Good stuff 
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Can you see what I see? I see it as clear as day! an according to di astrological sign, it going to happen realll soon to!
As mod, Tell mi yu noh see dat to! 
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