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these from The Funny TImes' Phil Proctor:
A Catholic guy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the shelf of one wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates and the other wall has pornographic pictures of a buxom blond.
He hears the priest come in " Father forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be"
"GET OUT YOU FOOL, you're on my side" the priest replies.
GO WITH GOD
"I was walking across a bridge one day and I saw a man standing on the edge about to jump off. So I ran over and said "STOP! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said. Well there's so much to live for!" I said. He said: "Like what?"
I said, "Well..are you religious or an atheist?" He said: "Religious"
I said: "Me too" Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
He said: "Christian"
I said: "Me too! Are you Catholic or protestant?"
He said: "Protestant"
I said: " Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
He said: "Baptist"
"Wow" I said Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church Of The Lord ?'
He said " Baptist Church Of God"
"Me too I said. "Are you original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God"
I said: Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God reformation of 1879 or reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
He said "Reformed Baptist Church of God reformation of 1915"
I said: "Die heretic scum " and pushed him off.
A Catholic guy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the shelf of one wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates and the other wall has pornographic pictures of a buxom blond.
He hears the priest come in " Father forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be"
"GET OUT YOU FOOL, you're on my side" the priest replies.
GO WITH GOD
"I was walking across a bridge one day and I saw a man standing on the edge about to jump off. So I ran over and said "STOP! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said. Well there's so much to live for!" I said. He said: "Like what?"
I said, "Well..are you religious or an atheist?" He said: "Religious"
I said: "Me too" Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
He said: "Christian"
I said: "Me too! Are you Catholic or protestant?"
He said: "Protestant"
I said: " Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
He said: "Baptist"
"Wow" I said Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church Of The Lord ?'
He said " Baptist Church Of God"
"Me too I said. "Are you original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God"
I said: Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God reformation of 1879 or reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
He said "Reformed Baptist Church of God reformation of 1915"
I said: "Die heretic scum " and pushed him off.
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