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Living in the doghouse
I knew our lives would never be the same when the dog arrived, I told My Friend P. We already had dogs, your regular garden variety mongrels. But in walks My Special F with a new kid on the block, a full breed German shepherd.
I said to him that our life had officially changed as the shepherd would require more care as they were pretty much like humans. Maybe Special F did not believe me, so he went off and got one more. Then the drama began.
Our new family member goes by the name Pancho and his stablemate is Daisy. Pancho is large but young, playful as a four-year-old and inflatable balls have now become an endangered specimen of a toy at the household as they all perish in Pancho's humongous jaws.
Pancho appears to have been earning his keep one night as we awoke to realise that his supersize jaws could not open and he would not eat. So, enter the vet, who surmises that Pancho might have been hit in the mouth. The vet gives him an injection of antibiotics and painkiller and writes a prescription for more antibiotics - Augmentin.
prescription
On filling the prescription, I confirmed that Pancho indeed needed to have our surname tacked on to his as he was indeed a full fledged member of the family.
The prescription said Pancho Dog - which I found funny since our prescriptions do not say C. Human.<span style="font-weight: bold"> But anyway when the pharmacist asked for the address, I was expecting her to then ask for his health insurance card ... she did not and when I was given the slip with the cost, I said hold up a minute, something is not right with this picture. Imagine, I had purchased the same antibiotics in the same quantity, for a child, Young R, the week before and did not pay anything close to the figure that Pancho was racking up. I vowed to go back and have a discussion with my office about getting Pancho on the family health plan. </span>
But of even greater amusement to me was the packaged drug which came all filled with what I now think must be obvious instructions:
<span style="font-weight: bold">"Dog, Pancho"
625 mg Augmentin
Take two tablets twice a day before meals. [And then the kicker] Avoid alcohol. </span>
Now, this is the funniest thing that I had seen in a while. I explained to My Special F when he got home, that based on the instructions on dear old Pancho's medication, he could not go out drinking with the boys for the next two Friday nights.
Importantly though, Pancho's jaw healed. I pray that he does not get ill again and sincerely wish that if someone comes by to hit him in the mouth again that intruder suffers the fate of our inflatable balls.
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I knew our lives would never be the same when the dog arrived, I told My Friend P. We already had dogs, your regular garden variety mongrels. But in walks My Special F with a new kid on the block, a full breed German shepherd.
I said to him that our life had officially changed as the shepherd would require more care as they were pretty much like humans. Maybe Special F did not believe me, so he went off and got one more. Then the drama began.
Our new family member goes by the name Pancho and his stablemate is Daisy. Pancho is large but young, playful as a four-year-old and inflatable balls have now become an endangered specimen of a toy at the household as they all perish in Pancho's humongous jaws.
Pancho appears to have been earning his keep one night as we awoke to realise that his supersize jaws could not open and he would not eat. So, enter the vet, who surmises that Pancho might have been hit in the mouth. The vet gives him an injection of antibiotics and painkiller and writes a prescription for more antibiotics - Augmentin.
prescription
On filling the prescription, I confirmed that Pancho indeed needed to have our surname tacked on to his as he was indeed a full fledged member of the family.
The prescription said Pancho Dog - which I found funny since our prescriptions do not say C. Human.<span style="font-weight: bold"> But anyway when the pharmacist asked for the address, I was expecting her to then ask for his health insurance card ... she did not and when I was given the slip with the cost, I said hold up a minute, something is not right with this picture. Imagine, I had purchased the same antibiotics in the same quantity, for a child, Young R, the week before and did not pay anything close to the figure that Pancho was racking up. I vowed to go back and have a discussion with my office about getting Pancho on the family health plan. </span>
But of even greater amusement to me was the packaged drug which came all filled with what I now think must be obvious instructions:
<span style="font-weight: bold">"Dog, Pancho"
625 mg Augmentin
Take two tablets twice a day before meals. [And then the kicker] Avoid alcohol. </span>
Now, this is the funniest thing that I had seen in a while. I explained to My Special F when he got home, that based on the instructions on dear old Pancho's medication, he could not go out drinking with the boys for the next two Friday nights.
Importantly though, Pancho's jaw healed. I pray that he does not get ill again and sincerely wish that if someone comes by to hit him in the mouth again that intruder suffers the fate of our inflatable balls.
Email comments to [email protected]