Separating from a house that is no longer yours

[MarieK]

Suh di parents sell the house yessideh and mother is packign and happy, actually she emptied the house months ago but all they have left in the NY house is barely next to nothing.

She busy packing and excitedly talking to people about how happy she is and the plans that she has for her dream house when out fo the blue she stap chat.

She begin fi wanda weh husband deh, husband deh inna bed suh she leff him think him a sleep.

Dis mawnin she guh fi wake him up him seh him nah guh wuk, why she asked.

Him respond with "Lawd mi depress, mi nuh want fi sell di house, axe dem back fi di money, mi a guh miss mi house, mi nuh want fi leff ie, duh beg dem and tell dem seh wi will gi dem back di money"

It pain mi fi si him like this, but he needs to move just so he doesn't have to work or if he does he can do something part time. He has worked so hard and given me so much, why wont he just be content with relaxing and enjoying life and traveling.

All along he was fine w/ it and helped plan all the upcoming trips but now he is really upset. anyone ever heard of this.

[Green_Biscuit]

Re: Separating from a house that is no longer yours

Awww, Marie. Is this your parents you are talking about? My parents always said they would never never never leave their house. Now that my Dad is gone, Mom is saying the same thing. Luckily one of my brother's lives with her and can take care of things. However, the house is less ($) than any other option anyway, short of her moving in with one of us (which would be fine, too).

I can see wanting to free up time and money, but there is a value to one's own home, too. Sounds like it is too late, though? House is sold? What a thing.

[SandiF]

Re: Separating from a house that is no longer yours

Had a hard time convincing my parents to sell their house in New York, after they had moved to Florida. They were so sentimentally attached to their NYC house and were willing to do the 2 mortgage. Eventually, after 2 years of arguing, they decided to sell. It doesn't take much for me to break ties with anything, but I tell you at one point they were ready to cancel the sale agreement. This time I weighed into them really hard...imagine two seniors...retired maintaining two mortgages! Eventually, they sold. Final advice I gave them is to use the sale $$ to pay off the mortgage on their Florida house. Best thing they've ever done. I know if I wasn't inna dem neck back day in night out, they probably would still be doing the two mortgage and who knows...I know it was reaching a point where they could not manage it.

[MarieK]

Re: Separating from a house that is no longer yours

Sandi, I made an investment a few years ago that brought in enough money to putdown on a house here then I suggested tthey take two mortgages one for 80 percent of the loan one for 20 percent of the amoun they were borrowing.

Wwith the sale of the home in NYC they are now able to pay off the 80 percent loan and live in the home here forless than 400 per month so I am not understanding why he is soooo attached, that alone woudl make me leave. Bigger house, nicer neighborhood for 400 a month?

It has been two days now and he has slipped into depression. I am going to NY in April and we are going to take a ride down together on the road and hopefully that will make him feel better.

Since I am his step child, his son, my brother, will be joining me, we want to show him how much better we are doing and by us going there I hope he will see that at least by moving here my brother and I can now afford to spend time as a family and it will be healthy for us.

I am running out of options

[SandiF]

Re: Separating from a house that is no longer yours

Marie mi feel you pain. It was a very similar situation with my folks. To top if off they rented their New York house and ended up with "renters from hell". \0/ You just have to keep showing them the pros and cons...with time they will get to love the new home base.

Does he drive? That was the next kicker for my folks...neither drove. You know how transportation in NYC easy...access to buses and the subway. They had a difficult time dealing with road transportation in Florida. My father used to love walking from mid-town to the upper sides of Manhattan and bemoaned that there was no where in Florida for him to just get on a bus or train or go for a walk. They came up with all kinds of reasons to keep the New York house!

Good luck and let us know how it work out.

[MarieK]

Re: Separating from a house that is no longer yours

Drive? Mi cyaan get dem awfa di road and that was their thign, what will we do when we are in Georgia (these are two fun loving folks, they love oldies parties, club and barbecue) suh mi buy a barbecue pit, and locate some Jamaican clubs and show dem seh the Heptones do visit Atlanta.

I just think the idea of change is what is scaring him. Mommy is another story she ready from before dem buy di house. She actually emptied the house and furnished the one down here months ago.

Her last trip she said she can't drive down because it tek too long, she would rather fly and she called every second to make sure the flight was still on time but him, he's having separation anxiety.