Trini mom beats 12 year old for posing onFacebook..do you agree?
This video is of a Trini mother disciplining her 12-year old for posing half-naked photos on Facebook. Many of us have been disciplined with a belt (or the nearest thing found) but this is too much....do you agree? Be warned there is STRONG LANGUAGE.
wonder if she had a discussion with the child prior to the beating about "internet safety/protocols" and what is and not "appropriate" for the internet ?
(Trinidad Express) In the aftermath of the posting of a video on Facebook showing her beating her 12-year-old daughter, Point Fortin mother Helen Bartlett says she is “prepared to go to jail” to set her child on the right path.
The mother of four yesterday said her daughter was her “problem child” who might be “acting out” because of neglect on her father’s part.
Bartlett made these statements during a radio interview with journalists Dale Enoch and Tony Lee on i95.5 FM yesterday morning. They shared data which revealed about 72 per cent of the respondents support her action, while 28 per cent did not agree with the mode of discipline.
Bartlett’s elder daughter and the 12-year-old “problem child” have since posted a counter video in support of their mother. They both said she was a good mother who just wanted what was best for her children.
Bartlett’s action has sparked debate over whether she was engaging in discipline or child abuse.
Asked if she had any regrets, Bartlett said: “No. I don’t have any regrets on the discipline, but on the views of the wider nation.”
On the question of support, Bartlett said: “I am getting support. And I have support from my family and from her. The child is supporting me, too.”
Asked what could have triggered such a severe beating, she said: “She has been my problem child. You know they say in every family, there is a problem child. I have been talking to her. I have tried numerous methods. I have even tried to get counselling.”
Amid the chorus of condemnation, Bartlett said she was yet to hear from the child’s father—a policeman.
She said: “I am yet to hear where is the father? I am yet to get a phone call from him. The video has gone viral. She is crying out for her father. And I am yet to see him. The video went out on Sunday. And today is Wednesday. I am doing this on my own.”
Asked if there was any communication between the child and her father, Bartlett said: “He is blatantly telling her he does not want to have anything to do with her. She just has this attachment to her dad. I believe she started acting out after the separation. She was very close to him. After the separation, that is when the problem started.”
Bartlett said “the danger… boys like sharks on foot… was even greater” since the girl started secondary school.
With a sense of pride, she said: “She is pretty, well educated. She is intelligent, but she has a sense of low self-esteem. She wants to be with the ‘in’ crowd.”
Bartlett said times have changed from when there was a stronger sense of community and when “Uncle Tom by the shop was my uncle”.
Asked if she regretted her action which was intended to “shame” her daughter, Bartlett said: “I believe she has to have shame that way. I don’t want her to be 14 or 15 and she comes home pregnant and I wake up and don’t find her in her bed. And I find her in Toco dead.”
Bartlett added: “I stand firmly by my decision. I will go to jail for it. I know people are saying the authorities should charge me for abuse. She is not supposed to be putting her underwear on Facebook.”
Giving details on what triggered the beating, she said: “She received a text message. I got a text message with she and a young man who was convincing her to have sex with him. The boy is around her age. I told her once school open you will get a “cut skin” (vernacular for licks). I can’t deal with the lies.”
Bartlett said she enquired about her daughter’s profiles and while viewing them, she saw “seductive poses”.
She said: “You in a vest and your underwear! What statement is that? And for a 12-year-old child?”
While she could monitor her at home, she said, “I can’t go in her class. I don’t know what is going on when I send her to school.”
Asked about her daughter, she said: “She is coping unexpectedly well. She said, ‘I did not mean to put you through this stress.’ She has sense. She apologised. And she is coping well. She is spiritually grounded. I don’t know where that (indecent exposure) came from.”
Although she has not returned to school yet, Bartlett said she has alerted her to what will unfold at school. “I have mentally stabilised her for that because I expect what will happen.”
In the counter video posted on Facebook, her elder daughter said Bartlett’s actions “were a last resort” to prevent her daughter from the path of teenaged pregnancy. The beaten child has apologised to her mother and family.
The elder daughter said: “That 12-year-old has been putting my mother through a lot. My mom is not a bad mother. Every day since primary school, people are saying mom should ground her. And mom tried all of that.
“People are saying you should take away her phone. As for the people who asked why she was on Facebook, she was not living with us. She was living with her grandmother. Facebook was a way to communicate with her.”
She said: “My mom is very sorry for what happened with the video going viral. And she knew this would have stopped it. The road my sister was heading down was teenaged pregnancy. She saw this as a way she could stop it. My sister has learnt her lesson.”
Defending her mother’s actions, she said: “She loves us dearly. Any parent that did not love their child would have let her do that. The guys are putting a lot of stress on the family. I am pretty sure she will not be on Facebook till 65.”
She added: “There is no male figure. She (her mother) is doing it on her own. She will go to the end of the earth for us. She is in her bedroom crying and praying. She was trying to teach her a lesson.”
Appealing for children to be more responsible on social media, she said: “This is a wake-up call to all children on Facebook. Have respect and dignity.”
Then the video shifted to the 12-year-old saying to her mother, “I am very sorry for bringing shame on you and the family. I know you love me dearly. And I love you dearly, too.”
She also had advice for her peers.
“You watch this video and try to make it better. You are a special piece of God’s puzzle. And don’t let what happen to me happen to you also.”
She cleared the air on views she might plunge into depression and commit suicide saying, “I love myself too much.”
I have no objections but in Canada, of course, she would have been charged with child abuse.
I'll never for get the day I was called to go to a school in Toronto to investigate the case of a child who had welt marks from being spanked with a belt. The mother was from Scotland. She met me at the school. Her 10 year old son had stolen $50 from her purse. She had spanked him with a belt. The gym teacher saw the welt and reported it.
I called my boss and he said "There is a new policy." We have to call the police and have them investigate to determine if they are going to lay charges against the mother....not the child who stole the $50, the mother. I couldn't believe it.
There is a difference between discipline and child abuse but, in Canada parents are best not to spank.
The "Spanking" Law: Section 43 of the Criminal Code
Section 43 of the Criminal Code is controversial in that it expressly offers parents and teachers a defence when they use reasonable force to discipline a child. Given an increased recognition of the rights and best interests of children, many have called for an end to any form of physical punishment of children and youth in Canada, which would necessarily include the repeal of s. 43. Others, while acknowledging that abuse itself is never justified, have argued that minor physical correction is acceptable in certain circumstances and that individuals should not risk criminal prosecution as a result of their parenting techniques.
Canadian Foundation for Children,Youth and the Law v. Canada (Attorney General)
On 30 January 2004, the Supreme Court of Canada released its decision in the case of Canadian Foundation for Children, Youth and the Law v. Canada (Attorney General).(3) The issue was whether s. 43 is unconstitutional. Six of nine justices concluded that the provision does not violate the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms,(4) as it does not infringe a child’s rights to security of the person or a child’s right to equality, and it does not constitute cruel and unusual treatment or punishment. Three justices dissented in three different respects.
A. Opinion of the Majority
The majority of justices in Canadian Foundation for Children, Youth and the Law upheld s. 43 on the basis that it protects only parents, schoolteachers and persons who have assumed all of the obligations of parenthood. Further, it maintains a risk of criminal sanction if force is used for non-educative or non-corrective purposes, and limits the type and degree of force that may be used. The words “by way of correction” in s. 43 mean that the use of force must be sober and reasoned, address actual behaviour, and be intended to restrain, control, or express symbolic disapproval. The child must have the capacity to understand and benefit from the correction, so that s. 43 does not justify force against children under two or those with particular disabilities. The words “reasonable under the circumstances” in s. 43 mean that the force must be transitory and trifling, must not harm or degrade the child, and must not be based on the gravity of the wrongdoing. Reasonableness further implies that force may not be administered to teenagers, as it can induce aggressive or antisocial behaviour, may not involve objects such as rulers or belts, and may not be applied to the head. While corporal punishment itself is not reasonable in the school context, a majority of the Supreme Court concluded that teachers may use force to remove children from classrooms or secure compliance with instructions.
So while it is not illegal to spank children, if there are any marks....any....the parents can be charged with child abuse. Many Jamaican families have found themselves in trouble over this.
Corporal punishment of children is unfortunately “alive and well” in most countries, it is a fact of life, used frequently and regularly in most Westernized societies, and also, perhaps to a lesser degree, in traditional cultural
groups.
In the United States, for instance, as in the UK, a majority of parents regularly carry out corporal punishment, and
often see it as a normative way to raise children. In the US around 80% of parents practice it (3). A Gallup poll
conducted in 1995 showed that 74% of children under 5 years old were hit or slapped by their parents for
discipline. The frequency seems to be different for various age groups: in the US and Canada preschool age
children are the most frequent receptors of corporal punishment, while the lowest frequency is for adolescents
(4). In a survey reported by Straus (5) 95% of parents of 3 year old children reported having spanked their child at
least once in the past year, and a more recent study (6) showed that 94% of parents had already practiced
spanking with children by the time they were four years old. As for adolescents, the frequency varies between 30
% at age 15 (7) to a 50% of teenagers, who report having been beaten recently by their parents (8). Spanking
usually means hitting with an open hand, although in a US survey around 35% of parents report using some object
(3).
In other developed or “wealthy” countries like Switzerland, a third of parents say they believe in physical
punishment and use it regularly. Spanking and slapping are the most common forms of physical punishment.
There are few empirical studies of corporal punishment in “Third world” countries and traditional societies. In a
study in seven Latin American cities and Madrid, Spain (9), a smaller proportion of parents reported using spanking
during the past month (24% of women and 15% of men). Also, a study involving Hispanics in the US (10) found a
lower percentage of parents who practice physical punishment. In another study, with focus groups in Chile and
Costa Rica (11), 30% of parents report that children should be hit sometimes or always when they misbehave.
In contrast, in a study in Jamaica (12, 13) an average of 60% of mothers believe in the practice, and report using
instruments to carry it out. About 80% of mothers with preschool children noted the use of instruments to beat
their children. The main offenses were disobedience, being disrespectful, not completing chores, crying too much
and not finishing their food. In a recent anonymous survey in Chile with over 500 parents of school-age children,
80.4% of parents in public schools said they had practiced physical punishment, but “only” for major transgressions
(running away, poor school performance and defiance) (14). This admission was more common in the parents of
lower socioeconomic class.
An inquiry with school children from four former “Eastern Bloc” countries, i.e. Latvia, Lithuania, Moldova and
Macedonia (15) (with around 300 children in each) found a prevalence of approximately 18 to 30% of reported spanking and slapping. In a survey of school children in Alexandria, Egypt (16) 37.47% of children reported that
their parents spanked them or disciplined them physically. The main reasons were lying to parents, poor school
performance, being disrespectful, disobeying and destroying other people’s property
As ah result ah di SYSTEM destroying parental rights, wi raising ah bunch ah kids whe noh use tuh people saying NO to dem. Sooo, fi example, "boy ask girl fo goh tuh prom, shi sey, no. Him stab har an cut har throat. Parents haffi bi able fi reinforce whe dem sey inna dem pickney, if dem noh listen, without fear ah di cops bein called pan dem.
Wanting di love of yuh kids is ah wonderful ting, but kids haffi fear sombaddi who can get dem fi stop long enough fi listen, or hav second thoughts wen dem bout fi duh suppen crazy. Mi always had tiny invisible versions ah fi mi parents sitting pan mi sholders ah wisper inna mi years.
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