What

[twiney]

makes one a good parent? If you are questioning your abilities as a parent and you were considering other children would you go ahead? What are some realistic expectations ...some minimum things to accomplish as a parent to not consider yourself a bad parent? It's getting to my head.

[Bandana]

Re: What

awwww... Twiny *hush*


I have always been told that if a child knows they are loved, and you can provide the basic necessities then they will be ok.


I wonder myself, we all have our faults and go through setbacks.


Truth be told Twiny, What I remember the most about my parents was how they felt about me. I remember that I was loved.

[CeaBee]

Re: What

what bandi seh sounds good.

but i guess it would depend on why/what i was questioning.

like right ya now i could never have nuh more pikney....cause physically and emotionally i am spent wid dem two here.

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: What

Twiny it better you have the second one now so the first don't grow up with that spoilt sense of entitlement so many only children have these days.

I am sure when Ted bundy was 3 his mother thought she was a good parent

[CeaBee]

Re: What

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: What

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ceabee</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> </div></div> What?

[Bandana]

Re: What

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Diabolical_Tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I am sure when Ted bundy was 3 his mother thought she was a good parent </div></div>





<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Childhood
Bundy was born at the Elizabeth Lund Home For Unwed Mothers in Burlington, Vermont, to Eleanor Louise Cowell. While the identity of his father remains a mystery, Bundy's birth certificate lists a &quot;Lloyd Marshall&quot; (b. 1916),[1] although Bundy's mother would later tell of being seduced by a war veteran named &quot;Jack Worthington&quot;. <span style="font-weight: bold">Bundy's family did not believe this story, however, and expressed suspicion about Louise's violent, abusive father, Samuel Cowell.[2] To avoid social stigma, Bundy's maternal grandparents, Samuel and Eleanor Cowell, claimed him as their son; in taking their last name, he became Theodore Robert Cowell. </span>He grew up believing that his mother was his older sister. Bundy biographers Stephen Michaud and Hugh Aynesworth wrote that he learned Louise was actually his mother while he was in high school.[3] True crime writer Ann Rule, who knew Bundy personally, states that it was around 1969, shortly following a traumatic breakup with his college girlfriend.[4]
For the first few years of his life, Bundy and his mother lived in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. In 1950, <span style="font-weight: bold">Bundy and his mother, whom he still believed was his sister, moved to live with relatives in Tacoma, Washington. Here, Louise Cowell had her son's surname changed from Cowell to Nelson.[5] In 1951, one year after their move, Louise Cowell met Johnny Culpepper Bundy at an adult singles night held at Tacoma's First Methodist Church.[6] In May of that year, the couple were married, and soon after Johnny Bundy adopted Ted, legally changing his last name to &quot;Bundy&quot;.</span>
Johnny and Louise Bundy had more children, whom the young Bundy spent much of his time babysitting. Johnny Bundy tried to include his stepson in camping trips and other father-son activities, but the boy remained emotionally detached from his stepfather.[7] Bundy was a good student at Woodrow Wilson High School, in Tacoma, and was active in a local Methodist church, serving as vice-president of the Methodist Youth Fellowship. He was involved with a local troop of the Boy Scouts of America.
Socially, Bundy remained shy and introverted throughout his high school and early college years. He would say later that he &quot;hit a wall&quot; in high school and that he was unable to understand social behavior, stunting his social development.[8] He maintained a facade of social activity, but he had no natural sense of how to get along with other people, saying: &quot;I didn't know what made things tick. I didn't know what made people want to be friends. I didn't know what made people attractive to one another. I didn't know what underlay social interactions.&quot;[9]
Years later, while on Florida's death row, Bundy would describe a part of himself that, from a young age, was fascinated by images of sex and violence. In early prison interviews, Bundy called this part of himself &quot;the entity&quot;. While still in his teens, Bundy would look through libraries for detective magazines and books on crime, focusing on sources that described sexual violence and featured pictures of dead bodies and violent sexuality.[10] Before he was even out of high school, Bundy was a compulsive thief, a shoplifter, and on his way to becoming an amateur criminal.[11] To support his love of skiing, Bundy stole skis and equipment and forged ski-lift tickets.[12] He was arrested twice as a juvenile, although these records were later expunged.</div></div>


Does not sound like he was loved much Tanya...
source

[CeaBee]

Re: What

me a wonda how and/or why ted bundy come in to the argument...

and now u mek all that think dem is good parents start fi guh

[Bandana]

Re: What

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ceabee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">me a wonda how and/or why ted bundy come in to the argument...

and now u mek all that think dem is good parents start fi guh </div></div>

yuh seet cb


not helping Twiny

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: What

I never said he felt loved or unloved...I said his <span style="text-decoration: underline">MOTHER </span>thought....

\o/


meaning what standards you or someone else judges as a &quot;good&quot; parent is meaningless...in response to Twiny's question

[Bandana]

Re: What

Tanya




Twiny, I did a search and found this:



Here are Dr. Steinberg's 10 principles of good parenting:

1. What you do matters. Whether it's your own health behaviors or the way you treat other people, your children are learning from what you do. &quot;This is one of the most important principles,&quot; Steinberg explains. &quot;What you do makes a difference...Don't just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result?&quot;

2. You cannot be too loving. &quot;It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love,&quot; Steinberg writes. &quot;What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love -- things like leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions.&quot;

3. Be involved in your child's life. &quot;Being an involved parent takes time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally as well as physically.&quot;

Being involved does not mean doing a child's homework -- or correcting it. &quot;Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the child is learning or not,&quot; Steinberg says. &quot;If you do the homework, you're not letting the teacher know what the child is learning.&quot;

4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child. Keep pace with your child's development. Your child is growing up. Consider how age is affecting the child's behavior.

&quot;The same drive for independence that is making your 3-year-old say 'no' all the time is what's motivating him to be toilet trained,&quot; writes Steinberg. &quot;The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also is making her argumentative at the dinner table.&quot;

5. Establish and set rules. &quot;If you don't manage your child's behavior when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older and you aren't around. Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing? The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules he applies to himself.

&quot;But you can't micromanage your child,&quot; Steinberg notes. &quot;Once they're in middle school, you need to let the child do their own homework, make their own choices and not intervene.&quot;

6. Foster your child's independence. &quot;Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, she's going to need both.&quot;

It's normal for children to push for autonomy, says Steinberg. &quot;Many parents mistakenly equate their child's independence with rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel controlled by someone else.&quot;

7. Be consistent. &quot;If your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion or if you enforce them only intermittently, your child's misbehavior is your fault, not his. Your most important disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your non-negotiables. The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it.&quot;

8. Avoid harsh discipline. Parents should never hit a child, under any circumstances, Steinberg says. &quot;Children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children,&quot; he writes. &quot;They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others.&quot;

&quot;There are many other ways to discipline a child -- including 'time out' -- which work better and do not involve aggression.&quot;

9. Explain your rules and decisions. &quot;Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to,&quot; he writes. &quot;Generally, parents overexplain to young children and underexplain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. He doesn't have the priorities, judgment, or experience that you have.&quot;

<span style="font-weight: bold">10. Treat your child with respect. &quot;The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully,&quot; Steinberg writes. &quot;You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for her relationships with others.&quot;</span>




source

[twiney]

Re: What

thank you bandy ...