folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

[Yvonne N.]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

An aside:


<span style="font-style: italic">out of wedlock </span>is just a term...nothing to do with arrogance...nor an antiquated state...especially when it <span style="text-decoration: underline">does </span>describe the situation in question...




BOT

&quot;When a nation's family structure is in shambles and disorganization, the nation itself must be likewise&quot;...

Interpret that any which way you wish...but the bottom line is that we need to put some brakes on the <span style="font-style: italic">baby-having...</span>

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs_Ahmidis</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Diabolical_Tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> While I don't agree with Shandra's stance on the topic. I do feel that motherhood/fatherhood is something that should not be entered into lightly. it is a lifetime commitment and is something that should be planned.

</div></div>

...but...Tanya...<span style="font-weight: bold">what stance is that</span>...<span style="font-style: italic">that I don't agree with the 85% out of wedlock birth rate in Jamaica ...and in the general low level of morality across the world,</span> generally speaking?

If so , what's wrong with that? and what good has come from the apparent race to entertainment/breeding under any circumstance?

I have been teaching for just about forty years in a variety of places...I see a variety of results of that behaviour.
Some get by, many don't. </div></div>

No I was meaning more your stance that unmarried people shouldn't have kids. My feeling is more that immature people should not have kids and neither should under aged children. I did go on to say that it is not something to be entered into lightly or carelessly.

[Yvonne N.]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

OK...gotcha!

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs_Ahmidis</div><div class="ubbcode-body">OK...gotcha! </div></div> morning now go look at my baby's pictures in DearK

[mountaingal]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

last night my sixteen year old told me a former friend of hers (same age) is pregnant. this is a friend who is troubled, has sought affection from guys and knows about birth control.

on the weekend, my daughter went to the 1st birthday party for another friend's child - that friend got preggers at 15, from pre-cum.

my daughter keeps saying she wants a baby.

i think there's something biological that happens at this age, some kind of urge to have kids that has to be fought. it may be tied into the hormones that makes teens want to have sex.

so, imo, i think morality needs to come out of it. this is a social conditioning issue. we've set the norms of our society that children need to be conceived and born within the social construct called wedlock - for reasons having to do with sharing of property and really, as a way of tying the girl to a man so the man can get some assurance that the child is his (and can have recourse if it's shown that it's not his).

the problem is that for a lot of people - teens AND parents -wedlock is not accepted as a strong enough motivation to override the biological urges.

an old man i used to know (he's dead now), used to say thank god for unwed mothers because they saved the black race.

as someone has already said, many girls (and i've heard this about so-called &quot;ghetto&quot; girls in jamaica), having a child is a sign of leaving childhood and entering into womanhood.

i don't find that necessarily immoral, just ill-advised in many cases.

[Diplomat]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">do like they did with that show that caused all that contravasy.

leff dem wid 2 baby under the age of 2, one infant &amp; one toddler, and mek dem battah batath wid the baby dem and see seh dem cant even guh bathroom widout pickney pan dem ankle, and see if dem still want teen pregnancy after that.


supervised from afar of course </div></div>
A 16 year old daughter of a friend of mine got an interesting school assignment. She was given a &quot;doll&quot; that was capable of crying, peeing, etc... for the weekend and she had to tend to it like she would a real child. Her mom said that after the first night and having to wake up a couple of times, her daughter just about lost her mind. The kid has sworn off any ideas of having a child until she is ready to handle it.

The question of teenage mothers/fathers is more a reflection of the value society places on certain things. There was a time when &quot;societal pressure&quot; was brought to bear on teenagers who would not only abstain from sex, but placed a much higher value on themselves and getting an education. Sort of wanting to get a &quot;better life&quot; than their mothers/parents had. As society moved/evolved towards individualism and pluralism, those values no longer hold true, and with parents virtually losing control of what they can do through child welfare laws/regulations, and government providing all kinds of assistance to teen mothers, the whole issue is not taboo anymore.

Anytime there is a breakdown in values we can expect to see the result in various forms, most of them troubling. People, teenagers or not, need something to hold on to that will help them to make the &quot;right&quot; choices in a time when sex and it's supposed pleasures are glorified as the ultimate in personal satisfaction, and a right to which everyone, regardless of age/maturity, is entitled to.

[Bandana]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

<span style="font-size: 11pt">MGee</span>

[Stormmey]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: I_Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I would have to say it is not the wedded or unwedded state that is the issue but moreso the fact that both parents, mother &amp; father should be actively and involved with their child on a daily basis. When children come, it is not really about you anymore but more about them. </div></div>


and there you have it in a nutshell!! I can sooooooo relate to this, some parents still do not realize that it is not material things that kids crave. It is you the parent

[Bandana]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: I_Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I would have to say it is not the wedded or unwedded state that is the issue but moreso the fact that both parents, mother &amp; father should be actively and involved with their child on a daily basis. When children come, it is not really about you anymore but more about them. </div></div>


and there you have it in a nutshell!! I can sooooooo relate to this, some parents still do not realize that it is not material things that kids crave. It is you the parent </div></div>

[Diplomat]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: I_Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I would have to say it is not the wedded or unwedded state that is the issue but moreso the fact that both parents, mother &amp; father should be actively and involved with their child on a daily basis. When children come, it is not really about you anymore but more about them. </div></div>
and there you have it in a nutshell!! I can sooooooo relate to this, some parents still do not realize that it is not material things that kids crave. It is you the parent </div></div>
But you do have cases where the parents are there, and are doing their best, but the child is still bent on doing his/her own thing. It's great to have strong parents in the home who are there for their kids, but social scientists tell us that it is not that simple. The kids have a mind of their own, and without the right values which they have to consciously embrace, they are going to make the wrong choices.

[Stormmey]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CEW</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: I_Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I would have to say it is not the wedded or unwedded state that is the issue but moreso the fact that both parents, mother &amp; father should be actively and involved with their child on a daily basis. When children come, it is not really about you anymore but more about them. </div></div>
and there you have it in a nutshell!! I can sooooooo relate to this, some parents still do not realize that it is not material things that kids crave. It is you the parent </div></div>
But you do have cases where the parents are there, and are doing their best, but the child is still bent on doing his/her own thing. It's great to have strong parents in the home who are there for their kids, but social scientists tell us that it is not that simple. The kids have a mind of their own, and without the right values which they have to consciously embrace, they are going to make the wrong choices. </div></div>

True True CEW, but me talking from my experience wey me juss get hand ova like 2 much pupper inna litta. never wanted for anything materially!! except love. I think subconciously that is why I do not want any kids...me think anyway carry on

[Stormmey]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Bandanna</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: I_Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I would have to say it is not the wedded or unwedded state that is the issue but moreso the fact that both parents, mother &amp; father should be actively and involved with their child on a daily basis. When children come, it is not really about you anymore but more about them. </div></div>


and there you have it in a nutshell!! I can sooooooo relate to this, some parents still do not realize that it is not material things that kids crave. It is you the parent </div></div>

</div></div>

bandido

[Hugo]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: I_Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">no birth control is 100% unless it is abstaining.

Yes I agree too many people enter parenthood by not being r eady for it. If I ruled the world a parenting course would be a requirement prior to conception

</div></div>

If I ruled the world there would be no adoption.

[Hugo]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CEW</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: I_Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I would have to say it is not the wedded or unwedded state that is the issue but moreso the fact that both parents, mother &amp; father should be actively and involved with their child on a daily basis. When children come, it is not really about you anymore but more about them. </div></div>
and there you have it in a nutshell!! I can sooooooo relate to this, some parents still do not realize that it is not material things that kids crave. It is you the parent </div></div>
But you do have cases where the parents are there, and are doing their best, but the child is still bent on doing his/her own thing. It's great to have strong parents in the home who are there for their kids, but social scientists tell us that it is not that simple. The kids have a mind of their own, and without the right values which they have to consciously embrace, they are going to make the wrong choices. </div></div>

is this your personal experience?

[julie*mango]

Re: folks who perpetuate this out of wedlock baby-having,

I remember I was 13 when my baby cousin was born and I babysat him frequently and secretly wished that I had a baby. I guess it was the hormones or something. But still I had sense enough to know that I should not be having a baby as a teenager.