mean girls and bullies

[Seveen]

how do you deal with mean girls and bullies?

abu has been subject to bullies since about 3rd grade

i have reported serious bully incidents to the school

i shored him up with martial arts classes during the summer

and for one incident that involved picking him up and throwing him into a garbage can - i called the police and recorded the assault

i didn't file charges but i could have - i wanted to make sure the parents got the message - especially since they left their suspended child at school all day after being told to pick him up

how do you deal with bullies and mean girls?

[Nunya]

Re: mean girls and bullies

Are the bullies girls?

[Seveen]

Re: mean girls and bullies

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Are the bullies girls? </div></div>

typically bullies are boys

and mean girls are girl bullies

bullies come in both sexes and encompass all races

[Nunya]

Re: mean girls and bullies

what the f...????

I was asking in the case of abu...

[ILP]

Re: mean girls and bullies

well in the state where i work girls and boys are called what they are....Bullies. Period.

we had a big habaloo in our state a while back about &quot;just how to phrase&quot; the term and a district attorney finally broke it down. A bully is a bully and dont change the name of what it is because of the sex of the violator.

I dont have stats, but I would surmise that females are the worst out there because they are not caught as often as the males. But that is quickly changing.

In my state we also let them know that if they do practice bullying...they must deal with the consequences of such, which include being suspended, arrested, and having to go to court and possibly having a record.

although we realize that we only scratch the surface with the bullying, we send messages to the ones that we do catch. we also try to send messages to the ones that may be too intimadated to stand up for themselves. It is shocking sometimes when you see the types of bullying (coersion [sp?]) that these kids use. It is all rather sophisticated, but when broken down to its essence, amounts to the same thing.

I am dealing with one right now as we speak. It is neither funny or tolorable (imo), as things with bullies only escalate. I just met with her parents (who of course think their &quot;daughter is an angel and wouldnt do anything that amounts to being a bully and you know how kids get silly and play and sometimes go overboard...<span style="font-style: italic">teeheeeee</span>&quot;

I just let them know that someone is going to seriously injur their daughter or even kill her. I only pray that when she does meet her match (because she will), that the consequence is just jail time and not their daughter's life.

[Nunya]

Re: mean girls and bullies

A few years back my son came home complaining about some 'mean girls' at school. I too let him know that those 'mean girls' were bullies.

He couldn't quite get his head around that. I have since observed that most boys will assign the term 'bullies' to other boys, but not to girls. Where-as girls will call other girls 'bullies'.

Yes you are right that there are some vicious little madams out there. There's one in the media right now, charged with murder for having her boyfriend kill another girl.

[Gen]

Re: mean girls and bullies

and according to the news last night, a LOT of children being bullied do not report it.

the school handed out anonymous surveys during class and asked them to list the names of bullies, how often it happened etc, and time again the same names kept popping up. the principal spoke to them in private one on one to try to get to the root of the bully's issues, set up a reward incentive program for them etc and things were much better

good thing is that the one girl they profiled who LEFT the school cause she couldnt tek it nuh more (had to go to another school 40 MILES away) returned to her old school

[Gen]

Re: mean girls and bullies

unnu membah when dat force ripe likkle gyal pickney did a teef out likkelgen lunch in fuss grade ? and the teacher dem a tell mi bout how dem a bess friend and hence dem nuh think nothing of it.

mi seh mi did prepare fi guh do lunch room duty fi ketch this likkle gyal a teef out mi pickney food

as likklegen tun har back the pickney teef out har juice and lunch and what not \0/

i was so ticked

[Seveen]

Re: mean girls and bullies

my son's school seems to have a &quot;don't see, don't tell&quot; policy among the teachers and the administrators - no one ever sees anything - thus my reason for calling the cops when he was dumped on

i have called the county so many times - they almost recognize my voice on the phone

[goldilocks]

Re: mean girls and bullies

My son got punched in the face (black eye) as a freshman in high school cuz he stood up to an older bully. I wrote a scathing letter to the school administrators asking them why this type of mess was allowed to go on. The bully was arrested, charged with assault and expelled because his history of doing stuff like that was so long.

My son also got a commendation in high school for breaking up a fight involving weapons between two girls in the cafeteria (this was a couple of years after his incident.)

At 19, he is now almost fully grown, over six feet, 230, and no one attempts to bully him these days . Kids can be so mean, but the ones who act out like that usually turn out to be p****** when confronted.

Once a kid spit on my daughter in the playground of the apartment complex where we lived. He was about 8 and she was 5. The kid ran from me and I knew I couldn't catch him so I post up around the cornah and wait for him to come back round. I then collared him and told him I'd wring his neck and leave him on his mama's doorstep (well, I was angry, sorry!) No further problems.

I wouldn't hesitate to show up at the kid's door and let the parents know in no uncertain terms how you feel. Martial arts will help Abu to remain calm, assess the situation and take appropriate action if necessary. Hopefully it won't be necessary. Growing up is tough, but most of us make it through.

[Gen]

Re: mean girls and bullies

yes some teachers and schools have that &quot;ignore&quot; feature.

I had to explain to these 2 first grade teachers that there needs to be some sort of consequence for this child stealing food do something, anything.

mi seh everytime mi membah mi get mad

[Seveen]

Re: mean girls and bullies

now i don't advocate fighting

but at abu's school if there is a fight - both kids get suspended - they don't even try to get to the bottom of it

the time the cop came - he told abu if someone hits him he has the right to hit back

the school can not come up with a rule that ignores your right to self defense

[goldilocks]

Re: mean girls and bullies

Yeah, my son got suspended for his black eye too, even though he didn't lay a hand on the kid just called him some names. But I think because I put it in writing they kind of had to pursue the bully's case further. &quot;They&quot; don't like written documentation of stuff floating around.

[Stormmey]

Re: mean girls and bullies

Abu seems like a little gentleman....shake dung fi lunch money, hell no, funny how the nice mannered kids get bullied. I used to tell little bro when he was younger do right back unto others what they do unto you, worked like a charm also whether them be girl or boy. Some little misses feel that cause them girls it is okay for them to do stuff and no consequences cause they do it to a boy. Plus they know I will meet up with them or have someone meet up with them. Yes!! am not above beating up likkle bullies or getting someone to beat them

<span style="font-style: italic">Disclaimer not telling anyone to have their kids do that especially with the zero tolerance works for me in my town because of who my granpere is</span>

[R00TS]

Re: mean girls and bullies

I would hate to have to raise a child in todays envirement, so ruff.
My sons didnt have a problem that I'm aware of. I'll have to ask. I did though..

I was bullied by a cousin who lived acrost the street. She was 4 yrs older than me and I thought the sun rose and set in her [censored]. I loved her so bad, but she would beat me kick me and verbally abuse me. Saying my mother had no use for her is being kind.
One day I came home crying she had been on a swing and had planted both feet in my belly. My mother gave me a curtain rod and told me &quot;YOU take this and go beat her with it or I'll beat you with it when you get back!&quot; I begged her NO! I just couldn't!! I did though, cried the whole time while the neighborhood looked on.
She never touched me again.