Would you allow

[kia027]

Your 11 and 13 yr old boy hanging out with girls who are 12 & 13 where the girls are wearing makeup & mascara and one of them smokes a cigarette?



At what age should dating start even the innocent chaperoned stuff?

[CeaBee]

Re: Would you allow

16?

chaperoned stuff at 15?

me nuh know.

[julie*mango]

Re: Would you allow

13 y o weh smoke??? dat is a no no

[twiney]

Re: Would you allow

No wouldn't allow it.

I'm leaning to 16 for the innocent dating thing for now ... dont know how I will feel in the next 11 years or so.

[Pepper]

Re: Would you allow

NO.

My son started dating at around 14 or 15. His dates were usually, both sets of parents dropping them off at the mall movie theater.

Say he went to an 8 PM show, they would maybe get an hour or so after the show to walk around the mall restaurant/courtyard area.

[DC]

Re: Would you allow

No sah! mi noh encourage it

[julie*mango]

Re: Would you allow

mi wasn't allowed til mi was 16. think that is a very good age...

*even doah di kids dem still a do dem ting way before dat*

[Peasie]

Re: Would you allow

For me, the wearing of makeup and smoking are just surface issues. I would aim to keep the conversation open with my son and not drop any big moral issues on makeup and smoking. I'd wait for signs of other more troublesome behaviors that these girls may or may not exhibit. And these should come with conversations with my son.

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: Would you allow

Smoking+ Moral issue.!?!?

i thought is was a health issue?

Well I learn avery day.... and nights too.
Th eonly thing I told my kids about smoking was the health perspective. Boy if I knew that I had another angle.

Lucky me Ididn't need it.<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Peasie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">For me, the wearing of makeup and smoking are just surface issues. I would aim to keep the conversation open with my son and not drop any big moral issues on makeup and smoking. I'd wait for signs of other more troublesome behaviors that these girls may or may not exhibit. And these should come with conversations with my son.

</div></div>

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: Would you allow

Well Dr D smoking is illegal here in Canada unless you over 18 so it is a moral issue (law breaking) in addition to being a health issue.

as to the question (mi not a parent but...)

I KNOW my niece would not hang out with a 14/15 yo girl or boy that smokes. The makeup is a different ting. All a di girls in here group where makeup, most of them (not my neice) start out wid di heavy cake on ting, but after a couple months dem realise that it mek dem look worse so now most of them just do eyeliner and mascara and a light colour lipgloss.

yes, mi know because they hang out with me all di while.

[Stormmey]

Re: Would you allow

You all lucky started dating 15 and 16, I am 26 and I swear if my Grandmere was still alive maybe she would still want to tell me am not allowed to date

I was a late bloomer (dating) but the smoking thing at that age is a big no no for me (the health issue and the <span style="font-weight: bold">smell</span>. I would never date someone who smoke. I have no kids so guess not qualified to give anymore advice.

[Pepper]

Re: Would you allow

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear_DiabolicalT</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Well Dr D smoking is illegal here in Canada unless you over 18 so it is a moral issue (law breaking) in addition to being a health issue.

</div></div>

Good point. It is illegal in the US as well. It is also illegal to buy cigarettes and give them to someone under the age of 18.

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: Would you allow

I suppose because I had to talk to my kids when they were all of 6 and 7 years old.
and in the situation where they would know of neighbors that die from the cause of of smoking.
So the legal aspect of it never came up.
As to the moral, I don't equate legal with moral.
There are many laws that i consider immoral, but I still try to abide by them., so as to be a part of a law abiding society.<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Pepper</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear Diabolical</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Well Dr D smoking is illegal here in Canada unless you over 18 so it is a moral issue (law breaking) in addition to being a health issue.

</div></div>

Good point. It is illegal in the US as well. It is also illegal to buy cigarettes and give them to someone under the age of 18. </div></div>

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: Would you allow

I suppose because I had to talk to my kids when they were all of 6 and 7 years old.
and in the situation where they would know of neighbors that die from the cause of of smoking.
So the legal aspect of it never came up.
As to the moral, I don't equate legal with moral.
There are many laws that i consider immoral, but I still try to abide by them., so as to be a part of a law abiding society<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear_DiabolicalT</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Well Dr D smoking is illegal here in Canada unless you over 18 so it is a moral issue (law breaking) in addition to being a health issue.

as to the question (mi not a parent but...)

I KNOW my niece would not hang out with a 14/15 yo girl or boy that smokes. The makeup is a different ting. All a di girls in here group where makeup, most of them (not my neice) start out wid di heavy cake on ting, but after a couple months dem realise that it mek dem look worse so now most of them just do eyeliner and mascara and a light colour lipgloss.

yes, mi know because they hang out with me all di while. </div></div>

[kia027]

Re: Would you allow

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Peasie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">For me, the wearing of makeup and smoking are just surface issues. I would aim to keep the conversation open with my son and not drop any big moral issues on makeup and smoking. I'd wait for signs of other more troublesome behaviors that these girls may or may not exhibit. And these should come with conversations with my son.

</div></div>

Interesting point there Peasie. These boys are not my sons but are friends of his. The two girls live somewhere in the area. These are the same two girls a few months back went to a communion party and *I* saw them walking down the street with the mascara, lipstick and makeup smoking a cigarette only to see them later stumbling up the street and boyKia telling me he saw them drinking vodka at said communion party.
When the girls were drunk (per boyKia) they were walking up the street with 4 boys, one of whom was my neighbor.

I spoke to the neighbor sharing what was said to me by boyKia and my neighbors other son.


Fast forward 4 months the neighbors two sons are out there on the street talking to the boys. I think though that they were outside standing on the curb talking near the end of the street. I have no intention of discussing it with their parents as you have said it is just surface issues and the boys were not the ones smoking.