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<span style="font-weight: bold">Prepare as much as you can ahead of time</span>
Find a good lactation consultant, preferably before you give birth. My son had major feeding problems the first week or two, and it would have been much easier if I had lined someone up for consultations ahead of time. It would have saved me many tears and feelings of inadequacy during a hormonally tumultuous period.
— Mary, Tampa, Florida
Stock up on food and other necessities. I was totally unprepared for how overwhelmed I'd be — meaning, I had zero time or inclination to go grocery shopping and make meals. I spent a lot of time leading up to my son's birth getting his room ready, etc., when I should have been making and freezing meals. Pizza delivery and take-out can only get you so far.
— Leslie Cannon, Overland Park, Kansas
Take a class on infant care through your hospital. It will teach you the basics on holding, bathing, feeding, etc. It will make you feel much more comfortable in the first few weeks when your baby seems so fragile.
— Diana Cacciapaglia, Orange, California
I assumed I wouldn't need a breast pump until I went back to work. But my milk wasn't coming in and I needed the pump's extra help to 'pull' out my breast milk. If I had bought a breast pump before I had my son and used it to coax the milk down, it probably would have saved us a lot of grief.
— Julie, Oregon
<span style="font-weight: bold">Ask for — and accept — help</span>
Use your resources — Mom, Grandma, your hospital's staff, the pediatrician, friends with kids. They love to answer questions, and remember that no question is dumb.
— Jodi, Randolph, Massachusetts
Accept help whenever offered! If friends ask you what they can do, suggest they prepare meals for you or babysit your older children. Hire someone to clean; send the little ones to day camp. Nobody will accuse you of being selfish or a bad mother. It's the only way to keep your sanity. (And it will allow you to spend time alone with your new bundle of joy.)
— Marti Kelley, San Antonio, Texas
<span style="font-weight: bold">Let the machine get it</span>
One thing that we did to survive the first weeks with our newborn was to leave a baby update as our answering machine message. Getting rest and sleep was so difficult those first few weeks that we turned off the ringer on the phone, changed the message periodically, thanked people for calling to check in on us and asked them to leave their messages. We promised we would get in touch with them when it was convenient. We found that people enjoyed calling to see what the new information was — the latest weight and height from the doctor visit or other tidbits such as, "Dad changed his first diaper," or "We gave Hunter his first bath," etc. It was a great way to keep people informed without getting overwhelmed by well-meaning interruptions.
— Janet Salisbury, Indianapolis
If phone calls are important, people will call back. My fiancé didn't understand why I wouldn't answer the phone when he was at work until he stayed home one day. Sometimes it's easier to let voicemail pick up a call, and you can return it when you feel up to it.
— Tarita Cain, Atlanta
<span style="font-weight: bold">Accept visitors only when you're ready</span>
Get together with your husband and decide what your policy will be on visitors. Include some rules for relatives and friends who sometimes believe they have a right or a duty to spend every second of the day with you and the baby. Yes, you will need lots of help, but that doesn't mean the end of your privacy, and not every visitor will be helpful.
— Poli de Zubiria, Colombia
<span style="font-weight: bold">Rest up</span>
The one thing I remember the most was trying to nap while the baby did. Let the household chores wait. You need your sleep much more than the house needs a vacuuming!
— Donna Fleming, Essex, Vermont
During my daughter's first six weeks, I learned that all the articles that tell you to rest when the baby does are actually right. Whenever my daughter took her naps, I usually caught up on housework, but by 7 p.m. I was sound asleep on the floor. Whatever else you do, make sure you get your rest. It will help you and the baby.
— Misty Lawrence, Springfield, Missouri
The worst thing I ever tried with my daughter was co-sleeping. I was so worried I was going to roll over on her that I couldn't sleep. My restlessness meant zero sleep for her, so she was exhausted, too. After a week or two of this, I finally just put her to sleep in her crib. I still had to get up to nurse, but the few hours of sleep I got between feedings made all the difference.
— Hannah, Vancouver, British Columbia
<span style="font-weight: bold">Go outside</span>
I remember the days this past summer of pacing around the house with a fussy baby while the sun was shining so brightly outside. When I took the baby out, I would still be holding him, so it didn't seem like much of a break. Then one day it dawned on me! I put a big comforter on the grass under a tree and put a baby quilt on top of that. Now, every day that it's nice outside, we lie in the yard. We've been doing this since Noah was a month old and he loves it! Make sure you dress your baby appropriately and be sure to stay out of the sun. It's a very relaxing way to share the outdoors with your baby.
— Tracie Smith, St. Lucas, Iowa
<span style="font-weight: bold">Know your limits</span>
If you're at the end of your rope because your baby won't stop crying, and he's not hungry, cold, wet, sick or hurt, and you're afraid you're going to hurt yourself or the baby, put him in a safe place (on his back or side in a crib, for example). Then step out of the room for five or ten minutes until you've calmed yourself down.
— Gabriel's mother, Leesburg, Virginia
Find supportive healthcare providers
I remember when I brought my first child home from the hospital, I was terrified. I was so scared people would think of me as an idiot for asking dumb questions. Finally, having screwed up the first time, I found a great pediatrician who was patient herself and had a very patient and understanding nurse on staff. They answered every question whether totally dumb or completely relevant.
— Anon
<span style="font-weight: bold">Trust your gut</span>
I just went with my instincts — no matter what they were. I knew that I was going through a difficult time and that I would make mistakes, but I needed to do that so I could learn what was best for my baby and me. The postpartum period can do crazy things to your mind. You second-guess yourself incessantly, but you'll find that your instincts will pull you through. There's no need to justify anything to anyone — you must concentrate on you and your little one.
— Mary Kae Selan, Pickerington, Ohio
<span style="font-weight: bold">Tell yourself: This, too, shall pass</span>
When you start out, you think, "I'm never going to be good at this," and then it becomes second nature. The child becomes an integral part of your life so that you couldn't imagine a time when you weren't a parent. So relax, enjoy the good and bad times, because your baby grows up so fast. Eventually, every child will sleep more (and so will you), and every child will be more independent. You'll never forget the first time your baby smiles at you or the first time she looks at you and calls you "Mama" or "Dada" or the times she falls asleep on your chest. It makes all the other frustrating stuff pale in comparison.
— Scott and Dorinda Legg, Atlanta
Take it one day at a time, don't worry about next week until it gets here, and know that whatever happens – your baby won't stop crying, something is new to you, you start to panic over something – it will be okay! Your baby is just as new to this as you are.
— Allison
<span style="font-weight: bold">Enjoy it while it lasts</span>
With my first baby I was just trying to get through the first couple of months! I couldn't wait until he was sleeping through the night. What a mistake that was. The best advice I can give you is that your baby will only be a newborn for just a few months so breathe it in and enjoy every cry and every moment. When you start to feel like you can't handle everything that's happening, just remember that it will be over faster than you can imagine!
— Anon
source
Find a good lactation consultant, preferably before you give birth. My son had major feeding problems the first week or two, and it would have been much easier if I had lined someone up for consultations ahead of time. It would have saved me many tears and feelings of inadequacy during a hormonally tumultuous period.
— Mary, Tampa, Florida
Stock up on food and other necessities. I was totally unprepared for how overwhelmed I'd be — meaning, I had zero time or inclination to go grocery shopping and make meals. I spent a lot of time leading up to my son's birth getting his room ready, etc., when I should have been making and freezing meals. Pizza delivery and take-out can only get you so far.
— Leslie Cannon, Overland Park, Kansas
Take a class on infant care through your hospital. It will teach you the basics on holding, bathing, feeding, etc. It will make you feel much more comfortable in the first few weeks when your baby seems so fragile.
— Diana Cacciapaglia, Orange, California
I assumed I wouldn't need a breast pump until I went back to work. But my milk wasn't coming in and I needed the pump's extra help to 'pull' out my breast milk. If I had bought a breast pump before I had my son and used it to coax the milk down, it probably would have saved us a lot of grief.
— Julie, Oregon
<span style="font-weight: bold">Ask for — and accept — help</span>
Use your resources — Mom, Grandma, your hospital's staff, the pediatrician, friends with kids. They love to answer questions, and remember that no question is dumb.
— Jodi, Randolph, Massachusetts
Accept help whenever offered! If friends ask you what they can do, suggest they prepare meals for you or babysit your older children. Hire someone to clean; send the little ones to day camp. Nobody will accuse you of being selfish or a bad mother. It's the only way to keep your sanity. (And it will allow you to spend time alone with your new bundle of joy.)
— Marti Kelley, San Antonio, Texas
<span style="font-weight: bold">Let the machine get it</span>
One thing that we did to survive the first weeks with our newborn was to leave a baby update as our answering machine message. Getting rest and sleep was so difficult those first few weeks that we turned off the ringer on the phone, changed the message periodically, thanked people for calling to check in on us and asked them to leave their messages. We promised we would get in touch with them when it was convenient. We found that people enjoyed calling to see what the new information was — the latest weight and height from the doctor visit or other tidbits such as, "Dad changed his first diaper," or "We gave Hunter his first bath," etc. It was a great way to keep people informed without getting overwhelmed by well-meaning interruptions.
— Janet Salisbury, Indianapolis
If phone calls are important, people will call back. My fiancé didn't understand why I wouldn't answer the phone when he was at work until he stayed home one day. Sometimes it's easier to let voicemail pick up a call, and you can return it when you feel up to it.
— Tarita Cain, Atlanta
<span style="font-weight: bold">Accept visitors only when you're ready</span>
Get together with your husband and decide what your policy will be on visitors. Include some rules for relatives and friends who sometimes believe they have a right or a duty to spend every second of the day with you and the baby. Yes, you will need lots of help, but that doesn't mean the end of your privacy, and not every visitor will be helpful.
— Poli de Zubiria, Colombia
<span style="font-weight: bold">Rest up</span>
The one thing I remember the most was trying to nap while the baby did. Let the household chores wait. You need your sleep much more than the house needs a vacuuming!
— Donna Fleming, Essex, Vermont
During my daughter's first six weeks, I learned that all the articles that tell you to rest when the baby does are actually right. Whenever my daughter took her naps, I usually caught up on housework, but by 7 p.m. I was sound asleep on the floor. Whatever else you do, make sure you get your rest. It will help you and the baby.
— Misty Lawrence, Springfield, Missouri
The worst thing I ever tried with my daughter was co-sleeping. I was so worried I was going to roll over on her that I couldn't sleep. My restlessness meant zero sleep for her, so she was exhausted, too. After a week or two of this, I finally just put her to sleep in her crib. I still had to get up to nurse, but the few hours of sleep I got between feedings made all the difference.
— Hannah, Vancouver, British Columbia
<span style="font-weight: bold">Go outside</span>
I remember the days this past summer of pacing around the house with a fussy baby while the sun was shining so brightly outside. When I took the baby out, I would still be holding him, so it didn't seem like much of a break. Then one day it dawned on me! I put a big comforter on the grass under a tree and put a baby quilt on top of that. Now, every day that it's nice outside, we lie in the yard. We've been doing this since Noah was a month old and he loves it! Make sure you dress your baby appropriately and be sure to stay out of the sun. It's a very relaxing way to share the outdoors with your baby.
— Tracie Smith, St. Lucas, Iowa
<span style="font-weight: bold">Know your limits</span>
If you're at the end of your rope because your baby won't stop crying, and he's not hungry, cold, wet, sick or hurt, and you're afraid you're going to hurt yourself or the baby, put him in a safe place (on his back or side in a crib, for example). Then step out of the room for five or ten minutes until you've calmed yourself down.
— Gabriel's mother, Leesburg, Virginia
Find supportive healthcare providers
I remember when I brought my first child home from the hospital, I was terrified. I was so scared people would think of me as an idiot for asking dumb questions. Finally, having screwed up the first time, I found a great pediatrician who was patient herself and had a very patient and understanding nurse on staff. They answered every question whether totally dumb or completely relevant.
— Anon
<span style="font-weight: bold">Trust your gut</span>
I just went with my instincts — no matter what they were. I knew that I was going through a difficult time and that I would make mistakes, but I needed to do that so I could learn what was best for my baby and me. The postpartum period can do crazy things to your mind. You second-guess yourself incessantly, but you'll find that your instincts will pull you through. There's no need to justify anything to anyone — you must concentrate on you and your little one.
— Mary Kae Selan, Pickerington, Ohio
<span style="font-weight: bold">Tell yourself: This, too, shall pass</span>
When you start out, you think, "I'm never going to be good at this," and then it becomes second nature. The child becomes an integral part of your life so that you couldn't imagine a time when you weren't a parent. So relax, enjoy the good and bad times, because your baby grows up so fast. Eventually, every child will sleep more (and so will you), and every child will be more independent. You'll never forget the first time your baby smiles at you or the first time she looks at you and calls you "Mama" or "Dada" or the times she falls asleep on your chest. It makes all the other frustrating stuff pale in comparison.
— Scott and Dorinda Legg, Atlanta
Take it one day at a time, don't worry about next week until it gets here, and know that whatever happens – your baby won't stop crying, something is new to you, you start to panic over something – it will be okay! Your baby is just as new to this as you are.
— Allison
<span style="font-weight: bold">Enjoy it while it lasts</span>
With my first baby I was just trying to get through the first couple of months! I couldn't wait until he was sleeping through the night. What a mistake that was. The best advice I can give you is that your baby will only be a newborn for just a few months so breathe it in and enjoy every cry and every moment. When you start to feel like you can't handle everything that's happening, just remember that it will be over faster than you can imagine!
— Anon
source
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