Parenting young black men

[mountaingal]

wish i could save them. the city's second murder struck close to home for my daughters. the young man had been in trouble, was on the road to improving himself, but his past caught up with him.

my usual question to my daughters - where is this young man's mother? turns out he doesn't know his mother, and had been excited to finally meet her sometime this year. but a couple of bullets in the chest at close range took care of that.

[H_O]

Re: Parenting young black men

it should be "Parenting this generation".
teenagers ( not all) and just before you come after me for making my opinion which you may not like, i for one will attest YOU have two wonderful, polite daughters and our differences set aside have for the times run into them at the Mall, have been nothing less than very polite and well mannered.

As for teenagers, I find them to have a "dont care, selfish me me me attitude.

And the odd few resort to violence to resolve there differences.

[mountaingal]

Re: Parenting young black men

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: H_O</div><div class="ubbcode-body">it should be &quot;Parenting this generation&quot;.
teenagers ( not all) and just before you come after me for making my opinion which you may not like, i for one will attest YOU have two wonderful, polite daughters and our differences set aside have for the times run into them at the Mall, have been nothing less than very polite and well mannered.

As for teenagers, I find them to have a &quot;dont care, selfish me me me attitude.

And the odd few resort to violence to resolve there differences.
</div></div>

HO.

the ones who get in trouble - i find that they are getting little to no parenting. that's what's killing me, honestly. this young man had a good core, to what i heard from my daughters, just needed a guiding hand, an adult with a bit of understanding in his life.

aye boy.

[Suesumba]

Re: Parenting young black men

Mgee. you're gonna hate me for saying this, but our lax social welfare system is causing this. it's easier for girls to get pregnant rather than finish high school. if you look in the archives for these stories. these children are only about 15 years older than their mothers.


mi naw tell no lie needa.

[mountaingal]

Re: Parenting young black men

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Mgee. you're gonna hate me for saying this, but our lax social welfare system is causing this. it's easier for girls to get pregnant rather than finish high school. if you look in the archives for these stories. these children are only 15 years older than their mothers.


mi naw tell no lie needa. </div></div>

not gonna hate u for that sue.

trouble is, the young men have no say in how they were born, and it seems hardly anyone is there to pick up the parenting slack/gap from having mothers who are babies themselves.

it's like - can we community foster them or something? without them having to go thru the criminal system first?

a mean.

[Suesumba]

Re: Parenting young black men

we can talk till the hair falls off a cow's back. it's a cycle that repeats itself. it's sad. sad. and even sadder. lawd gawd.

it's not the children's fault, they're not loved. their *parent* doesn't even know what love is. how can you teach love if you've never been loved?

do you ever look into the eyes of some of these youths? they look like all they want is for someone to hug them.

so they bluster with the bravado and machismo to mask that hunger.

[mountaingal]

Re: Parenting young black men

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">w
do you ever look into the eyes of some of these youths? they look like all they want is for someone to hug them.

so they bluster with the bravado and machismo to mask that hunger. </div></div>

and that's what i spent my time crying over last night (and a bawl now fa to). you hit it right on the head sue.

[Hush Darlin]

Re: Parenting young black men

didnt this same youth have a brother or cousin that was shot in Malvern Mall about 2 years ago

[mountaingal]

Re: Parenting young black men

didn't hear that, Sweets, but it's possible.

[Wendy]

Re: Parenting young black men

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">we can talk till the hair falls off a cow's back. it's a cycle that repeats itself. it's sad. sad. and even sadder. lawd gawd.

it's not the children's fault, they're not loved. their *parent* doesn't even know what love is. how can you teach love if you've never been loved?

<span style="font-weight: bold">do you ever look into the eyes of some of these youths? they look like all they want is for someone to hug them. </span>
so they bluster with the bravado and machismo to mask that hunger. </div></div>

Oh my word ..that is powerful and so true. I was in the liquor store the other day (before unu ask smaddy beg mi pick up someting fi News Years Eve celebration )

Yes as mi was saying ..dese 2 young men came in dressed in them thug uniform cigarette hanging from their lips and they could not be no older than 17. First I wondered ..dam what is going on in these kids lives to be here in this liquor store picking up tons of beer One has to conclude that they have no adult supervision.

One of them eyes and mine connected and I said Hi to him and wished im Happy new year.. He behaved in a way that he didn't expect me to even reach out with a hello. The biggest smile you can see on this planet lit his face. Man ... mi sey mi heart.. Lawd mi ago tap type yaah

[mountaingal]

Re: Parenting young black men

lawd wendy u mek mi start bawl again.

[Yvonne N.]

Re: Parenting young black men

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">we can talk till the hair falls off a cow's back. it's a cycle that repeats itself. it's sad. sad. and even sadder. lawd gawd.

it's not the children's fault, they're not loved. their *parent* doesn't even know what love is. how can you teach love if you've never been loved?

do you ever look into the eyes of some of these youths? they look like all they want is for someone to hug them.

<span style="font-weight: bold">so they bluster with the bravado and machismo to mask that hunger</span>. </div></div>

How very true!

<span style="font-size: 8pt">~Sue, yu have writing skills tuh? Mi head swell when mi read dis line...~ :rungawn:</span>

[mountaingal]

Re: Parenting young black men

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SweetSsop</div><div class="ubbcode-body">didnt this same youth have a brother or cousin that was shot in Malvern Mall about 2 years ago </div></div>

Sweets, apparently it was a cousin. ETA - then again, mi just see something that it was his uncle. and that the youth was still recovering from the murder of that uncle.

[ILP]

Re: Parenting young black men

Before I type what I type...understand that I am speaking from a perspective of someone who has made the choice to work with the very same young adults to which this post has been dedicated....

Young people for the most part act out because that is what they are supposed to do at this chronological stage/development in their life. Think about it. When you were at their age you rebeled and ventured out on your own paths and discoveries. Your probably remember having fights with your own parents. Now do teenagers of today do things that go far beyond what you did when you were there age? The answer to that is relative to each person's perspective.

I really feel in my heart that what we are witnessing today is a breakdown in parental responsibility. Parents (to be read: adults) often take the easier route. It is easier to allow other people to do what they are supposed to do. It is easier to blame a teacher, blame politicians, say that social services didnt help, the dad/mother left and didnt help, blah...blah...blah...when the bottom line is simply YOU THE PARENT IN THE YOUNG PERSON&quot;S LIFE is ultimately responsible. PERIOD. Is the job difficult? ABSODAMNEDLUTELY! Are there others (to be read: other adults in society) that can help a parent with the raising of their child. Sure. But parents need to understand that the &quot;other&quot; people do not have to do so. They do so because the choose to do so. They help because they care. They do so because in the end...things are just better that way.

It grieves my heart when I see some of these kids...let alone their parents. Kids want (most folks know they need) correction, they want someone to chastise them. They also want someone to LISTEN without judgement and without dogma. Sometimes they want to see adults make mistakes and to demonstrate that they are human. Sometimes they want to know that ultimately they will be OK. We often ignore this fact and realize it only after we have lost one of our young people to a few bullets to the chest. One thing that I know about kids is this. They are always listening, but more importantly...THEY ARE WATCHING. And it is the watching that has the biggest impact of all.

[Suesumba]

Re: Parenting young black men

ILP, we didn't shoot each other. experimented with drugs/alcohol, whatever.

but the young black men in here in my neck of the woods are killing each other at an alarming rate. and the tide doesn't seem to be ebbing any time soon.