Parenting young black men

[ILP]

Re: Parenting young black men

Sue I hear you.

Not sure of your age...but when I was coming up the drug was cigarettes and pot. The weapon was a knife. My parents parented me....

the ones that had no parents...well...they met the same fate (to be read: a slash mark across the jugular...bleed out on street corner).

The result: same

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: Parenting young black men

So only black girls take advantage of the welfare system?
since it seem like if that was the cause the children of the other races that follow a similar tract would be in a similar position. People love to think with their emotions.
but this is a lot more than gut feeling and popular argument.
If the popular was always right. the solutions would always work.<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Mgee. you're gonna hate me for saying this, but our lax social welfare system is causing this. it's easier for girls to get pregnant rather than finish high school. if you look in the archives for these stories. these children are only about 15 years older than their mothers.


mi naw tell no lie needa.

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[Suesumba]

Re: Parenting young black men

white kids aren't in the news for shooting each other by the score. or being gunned down at 18-25. 25 now seems to be the life expectancy for young black men.

i'm not making it up. you can go on the metro toronto police service and read the press releases for the past year and you'll see a pattern.

they just don't report the multiple shooting white children are doing to each other to make the black ones look bad.

[Gen]

Re: Parenting young black men

young girls having children too early, a vicious cycle that never ends, and so it continues each year

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: Parenting young black men

All I am trying to say if we keep blaming the wrong cause,we will only increase the problem if our corrective sclution is based on that.
The high murder rate of young black men is not caused by lax welfare programs. It is caused by lax parenting training.

they teach the children to do so many things they never use in life, but the tools of parenting.

it also fail to support and direct black children, as they do with children of other races. It is the systemic policy that result inthe problem, but it certainly is not lax welfare system.
In Jamaica the re is no welfare system, lax lax or otherwise.
i rest my case.<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">white kids aren't in the news for shooting each other by the score. or being gunned down at 18-25. 25 now seems to be the life expectancy for young black men.

i'm not making it up. you can go on the metro toronto police service and read the press releases for the past year and you'll see a pattern.

they just don't report the multiple shooting white children are doing to each other to make the black ones look bad. </div></div>

[mountaingal]

Re: Parenting young black men

dudd, i see ur latest response and withdraw my earlier post.

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: Parenting young black men

tell him to go to his nearest community college and do a course in sociology and then he will see the reason, why they behave like that. it is a normal progression. teens of all age are combative. it is just a matter of who their oppposition are.<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">dudd, i see ur latest response and withdraw my earlier post. </div></div>

[mountaingal]

Re: Parenting young black men

doc, ur making a point ILP has already made. what complicates these things is that teens benefit from a wise and understanding adult traveling with them thru these phases. i went thru it with my daughters.

a lot of these young black men lack that stabilizing adult in their lives, or they come into it too late to save the young men from their past, as in this current case.

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: Parenting young black men

parent with no ne or inadequate parenting skills can be just as damaging.
it is all about the skills, and support.

if the children are given a person who they can trust with adequate parenting skills, they tend to fare much better.

sometimes better than children they grow up with both parents, wit inadequate skills.<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">doc, ur making a point ILP has already made. what complicates these things is that teens benefit from a wise and understanding adult traveling with them thru these phases. i went thru it with my daughters.

a lot of these young black men lack that stabilizing adult in their lives, or they come into it too late to save the young men from their past, as in this current case.

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[Nunya]

Re: Parenting young black men

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dr.Dudd</div><div class="ubbcode-body">parent with no ne or inadequate parenting skills can be just as damaging.
it is all about the skills, and support.

if the children are given a person who they can trust with adequate parenting skills, they tend to fare much better.

sometimes better than children they grow up with both parents, wit inadequate skills. </div></div>

True dat.

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: Parenting young black men

I just saw it and i am happy for that.

I remember when I was the only one who seem to recognize the root of the problem.
i now know that there is a high probability that change will come.
We just need for a large percent of the educated blacks realize it.
because once they start acknowledging it, the government will jump. That is how it work.
They Will not oppose those who are informed.
they will overtime attempt to neutralize them, but if they are in a large enough percent of the population it will be impossible Since some of the kids who will benefit from the new strategy, will take up the cause.
as long as they are not murdered before it happen.<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">doc, ur making a point ILP has already made. what complicates these things is that teens benefit from a wise and understanding adult traveling with them thru these phases. i went thru it with my daughters.

a lot of these young black men lack that stabilizing adult in their lives, or they come into it too late to save the young men from their past, as in this current case.

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[Nunya]

Re: Parenting young black men

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dr.Dudd</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
I remember when I was the only one who seem to recognize the root of the problem.
</div></div>

Fork&amp;hell mate, let's not start patting ourselves on the back now. There hasn't been enough achieved to warrant this...



Nedda ting, I think saying that what young black men need is a hug and all that is really oversimplification.

In my opinion, what they need, along with the hugs and yada, is to feel that they have a <span style="font-style: italic">right</span> to be. Most of them feel that they're living on borrowed time because the system is set up to make them think that they should be grateful to be here. They should be grateful to go to school with white kids, sit at the front of the bus, drive a car, walk on the same side of the street...

Ah mean, dat deh kinda gratitude nuh mus choke yuh?

The problem is deep. The solution is not singular. I haven't all the answers, but like mtngal, I try to do right by mine.

Some have told me that he's too sheltered. Sometimes I wonder if they're right. Only time will tell. I try to tell him what to expect from the world when he's grown... others have told me that I should let him live it now. Damn, he's only 16.

As it is, all I can do is let him be a boy while he can, cause too soon he'll be a man operating in a society that will be bound and bent on telling him that he should be grateful to be here.

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: Parenting young black men

What Have you said that is not common to all kids at that stage of development?
what is missing with th eones who fail and is present in those who don't?
How do you mean it is not successful??
Does it have to be done in that special location to be proven as successful?
this is a simple and common sociological effect, that is available on research in any good college library.
it is not breaking news!!

What do you mean about patting myself on the back? You mean I should not state the fact, because it is favourable to me??
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dr.Dudd</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
I remember when I was the only one who seem to recognize the root of the problem.
</div></div>

Fork&amp;hell mate, let's not start patting ourselves on the back now. There hasn't been enough achieved to warrant this...



Nedda ting, I think saying that what young black men need is a hug and all that is really oversimplification.

In my opinion, what they need, along with the hugs and yada, is to feel that they have a <span style="font-style: italic">right</span> to be. Most of them feel that they're living on borrowed time because the system is set up to make them think that they should be grateful to be here. They should be grateful to go to school with white kids, sit at the front of the bus, drive a car, walk on the same side of the street...

Ah mean, dat deh kinda gratitude nuh mus choke yuh?

The problem is deep. The solution is not singular. I haven't all the answers, but like mtngal, I try to do right by mine.

Some have told me that he's too sheltered. Sometimes I wonder if they're right. Only time will tell. I try to tell him what to expect from the world when he's grown... others have told me that I should let him live it now. Damn, he's only 16.

As it is, all I can do is let him be a boy while he can, cause too soon he'll be a man operating in a society that will be bound and bent on telling him that he should be grateful to be here. </div></div>

[Nunya]

Re: Parenting young black men

[H_O]

Re: Parenting young black men

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SweetSsop</div><div class="ubbcode-body">didnt this same youth have a brother or cousin that was shot in Malvern Mall about 2 years ago </div></div>

the guy you talkin about got whacked right on the street corner of Mclevin and Sewells in broad daylight at 10 in the morning across the street from a Catholic School.
AND that guy was no angel either.

But either way, Not only are these youths killing each other, alot of them dont realize the social destruction there making to the neighborhood- its called &quot;lowering&quot; property value.