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<span style="font-weight: bold">
Peer Pressured</span>
* The situation: Your 4-year-old son and a friend are enjoying their playdate while you prepare dinner. Suddenly, your child runs into the kitchen crying, "Jonathan took my truck while I was playing with it!"
* What's going on: Kids this age don't know how to deal with peers who act aggressively or won't listen to them, so they often expect a parent to run interference, says Susan Isaacs Kohl, author of The Best Things Parents Do.
* How to respond: Brainstorm together to solve the problem. Say, "What should you do next?" If he doesn't have any ideas, suggest a few, such as politely asking his friend to give the truck back or taking turns playing with it. "This sends your child the message that he has skills and choices, and that he can gradually learn ways to solve problems independently," explains Debbie Glasser, Ph.D., a child psychologist in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
* Real-mom solution: Gina Seamans doesn't jump in when her 5-year-old, Bryce, complains that his older brother isn't playing nicely. Instead, she's given Bryce a standard comeback to use: "I'll have him say, ‘If you act that way, I'm going to play by myself,' " says the mom from Arvada, Colorado.
<span style="font-weight: bold">Nit-picking</span>
* The situation: Even when it doesn't involve her, your 5-year-old constantly lets you know when other kids are doing things she thinks are wrong ("That boy is eating too many cookies" or "She's not wearing shoes!"
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* What's going on: She's eager to gain your approval, and pointing out other kids' mistakes is a way of showing you that she knows how to act properly.
* How to respond: Remind her that it's not her job to monitor other children. Since she's seeking attention, spend extra one-on-one time together, and compliment her when she behaves properly ("You asked for a snack nicely, so you may have one".
* Real-mom solution: If her son Christopher, 4, tells on his 3-year-old brother, Zach, Michelle Leeper, of Sunrise, Florida, tries to ignore it. <span style="font-weight: bold">But if the snitching continues, she sends the boys to separate rooms. "That way, instead of rewarding the tattling with my attention, I'm discouraging it," </span>she says.
Source: Parents dot com
Peer Pressured</span>
* The situation: Your 4-year-old son and a friend are enjoying their playdate while you prepare dinner. Suddenly, your child runs into the kitchen crying, "Jonathan took my truck while I was playing with it!"
* What's going on: Kids this age don't know how to deal with peers who act aggressively or won't listen to them, so they often expect a parent to run interference, says Susan Isaacs Kohl, author of The Best Things Parents Do.
* How to respond: Brainstorm together to solve the problem. Say, "What should you do next?" If he doesn't have any ideas, suggest a few, such as politely asking his friend to give the truck back or taking turns playing with it. "This sends your child the message that he has skills and choices, and that he can gradually learn ways to solve problems independently," explains Debbie Glasser, Ph.D., a child psychologist in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
* Real-mom solution: Gina Seamans doesn't jump in when her 5-year-old, Bryce, complains that his older brother isn't playing nicely. Instead, she's given Bryce a standard comeback to use: "I'll have him say, ‘If you act that way, I'm going to play by myself,' " says the mom from Arvada, Colorado.
<span style="font-weight: bold">Nit-picking</span>
* The situation: Even when it doesn't involve her, your 5-year-old constantly lets you know when other kids are doing things she thinks are wrong ("That boy is eating too many cookies" or "She's not wearing shoes!"
.* What's going on: She's eager to gain your approval, and pointing out other kids' mistakes is a way of showing you that she knows how to act properly.
* How to respond: Remind her that it's not her job to monitor other children. Since she's seeking attention, spend extra one-on-one time together, and compliment her when she behaves properly ("You asked for a snack nicely, so you may have one"
.* Real-mom solution: If her son Christopher, 4, tells on his 3-year-old brother, Zach, Michelle Leeper, of Sunrise, Florida, tries to ignore it. <span style="font-weight: bold">But if the snitching continues, she sends the boys to separate rooms. "That way, instead of rewarding the tattling with my attention, I'm discouraging it," </span>she says.
Source: Parents dot com
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