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my little daughter constantly talks about wanting long hair. I always point our family members whose hair is short and tell her how beautiful they are or if we are watching tv/movie I say oh look at that one or this one how pretty.... I constantly tell her how beautiful she is and how perfect God made her. I also hardly wear my hair down anymore. Her daycare teahers and playmates predominately have long hair and maybe that's the reason (she says she want a pony tail like so and so at school) I do not want her to grow up with any negative self image in case her hair does not get much longer. Has anyone encoutered a similar situation?
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Re: 4 year old want long hair
yes indeed. my lil girl told me one time when i picked her up from daycare "Mommie i want hair like Riley."
well Riley is a cute little white girl that is her friend. i explained to her that everyone's hair is different and showed her how even her hair is different than mine (different color, texture and length). she started to understand and i havent heard the "i want hair like Riley" comment anymore.
but the difference in ur situation and mine is that my lil girl's hair is long. she wears ponytails all the time. i think its the texture more so she wants like Riley's than length. or maybe color since Riley's hair is blond and her hair is brownish -
Re: 4 year old want long hair
I dunno whatt o tell you, but please don't relax it and don't weave it
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Re: 4 year old want long hair
Weave..relax NO way she is too young for those treatments.Comment
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Re: 4 year old want long hair
i do not know wat to tell u
u can teach her to be proud of her hair
but society reinforces a different image
long straight hair is the in-thing
back in the 60's and 70's when the fro was popular it would have been easier
there were more female role models
Angela Davis
Pam Grier
nowadays it is Beyonce, Tyra and the Naomi type women
black but not too black
with beautiful flowing weave.
All you can do as a mom is to tell her everyday that she is beautiful
and hope that she will believe you when you say so.Comment
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Re: 4 year old want long hair
i dont know what to tell you.
this morning i was watching a news feature about "summer hair" and it was all about white people that were doing hair straigtening and keritan (sp) treatments in order to get the long straight hair look.
i think with all things, we (humans) struggle because what society says is acceptable/beautiful is always opposite of what "we have".
the key is to teach (by doing/reinforcements) of what is beauty.
as a kid i was the kid with tall/thick hair. for the most part a pressing comb was needed every day or it was hell to manage.
my sisters hair was more kinky and much shorter.
i wanted my sisters' hair...they wanted mine.
but mommie made wi all know that we ALL were beautiful. period.Comment
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Re: 4 year old want long hair
never exprienced that from my 4 year old, however she did ask for bangs like her best friend
mi tell her dat would be a bad 80s hairstyle
anyhoo she forgot about the request after a couple days. kids will always want what their friends have at that age
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Re: 4 year old want long hair
it is ok to want different hairstyles...sometimes i want my hair long and straight...sometimes i want it short and curly...the important thing is to make sure she understands that no matter what she has she is still beautiful!Comment
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Re: 4 year old want long hair
dat was me as a kid. mi seh, mi ongle aspiration in life was fi mi hair ketch up inna one
and when it was apparent that it was impossible, den mi lower mi standards and beg fi it comb inna two
i can say that mi grow up wid hair envy. is ongle 5 or so years ago mi accept mi hair. my advice? don't dwell pon di hair ting too much, give her cute styles wid har likkle ribbon and hair clip (altho mi notice pickney nowadays more advanced so whatver di equivalent is). take care of her hair - wash it and treat it right and mek sure it healthy. don't dwell pon it. positive reinforcement every now and again but not every day or every other day.
hopefully she won't spend har life obsessing over it if u have a healthy attitude towards her hair.Comment
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Re: 4 year old want long hair
Never had that experience regarding long hair ...infact I think my little one would rather get rid of it all ..shi fraida har hair like puss
As most people have said ensure she doesn't continue an negative attitude towards her hair as she grows olderComment
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Re: 4 year old want long hair
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: FrenchTickla</div><div class="ubbcode-body">dat was me as a kid. mi seh, mi ongle aspiration in life was fi mi hair ketch up inna one and when it was apparent that it was impossible, den mi lower mi standards and beg fi it comb inna two
</div></div>thanks fi de laugh
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Re: 4 year old want long hair
Chantel, couple things stand out here for me. Hear mi out
First, little girls like to look like each other and emulate older girls or women they admire like their teachers for example. So, it is sort of natural for your daughter to be this way. Now she is only four so she hasn't quite figured out reality, deep differences between people, and she certainly hasn't yet developed skills to be "reasonable." So what she is probably saying to you is that she wants to belong to the group, she doesn't want to stand out. This is normal behavior.
Second, you are doing a good job by reinforcing to your daughter her own uniqueness, beauty, and pointing out to her that she is like her family more than she is like the others at daycare. That being said, don't be too over-zealous in telling her this. Sometimes children can hear the anxiety in our zeal to tell them how beautiful they really are and think (quite wrongly!) that my mommy is just telling me that so that I don't feel bad. Weird huh? Four-year olds can be unreasonable <span style="font-style: italic">and</span> hear what they want to hear. 
Your daughter won't grow up with any negative self image. Not with a mother like you. Right now she feels comfortable in telling you how she feels and what is on her mind. Encourage her to always come to you when she feels this way. Then just reassure her gently that she is beautiful then maybe just acknowledge that, yes those other girls at daycare have ponytails and someday she will grow up can decide to do whatever she wants with her hair, long or short!
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Re: 4 year old want long hair
Why not comb her hair in a style that is not the usual hairstyle. I believe that amongst her friends they are always commenting on the ponytail hairstyle and she become insecure that her hair is not long enough to have that styling. When she see that her hair can be comb in prettier hairstyle then she will forget this obsession of long hair.Comment
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