Parents and aging question

[Tulip]

If you are like me, you learned a long time ago that usually when someone starts a question with “I have a friend that” it means they are talking about themselves. That is not about to be the case, but I wanted to acknowledge the pattern before I got started. So here we go…

I have a friend whose parents were not particularly accommodating of her innocence of things when she was growing up. Apparently, there was a complete lack of inherently understanding this or that in the same manner that an adult with experience would. Now the parents are headed to the elderly childlike phase and she gets really impatient with them in the same way they were with her when she was not full grown acting.

I think that if they had been more patient with her then she would have learned to exercise patience. Be that is it may, I think she is being mean to them.

Should she get over the past or give them a dose of their own medicine?

[kia027]

Re: Parents and aging question

When you first reach true adulthood you realise your parents did not teach you everything you need to know. As an adult we forgive our parents for what they did not teach us and then do the right thing. Your friend knows the right thing to do and should do it if s/he is a true adult.

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: Parents and aging question

She us being mean, but nit intentionally.

She Was brought up And socialized to ignore and suppress her feelings of empathy.

as a result she failed to cultivate it.

It is very common with Jamaicans who grow up in what they consider 'strict' And ideal way.

Well they fail at inculcating the most important skill to be a success to achieve a rounded person.

They fail This inculcate the 'human skill' .

It id the most utilitarian skill,that too many people are lacking .

She will Need counseling to overcome it at this stage in her life.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tulip</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If you are like me, you learned a long time ago that usually when someone starts a question with “I have a friend that” it means they are talking about themselves. That is not about to be the case, but I wanted to acknowledge the pattern before I got started. So here we go…

I have a friend whose parents were not particularly accommodating of her innocence of things when she was growing up. Apparently, there was a complete lack of inherently understanding this or that in the same manner that an adult with experience would. Now the parents are headed to the elderly childlike phase and she gets really impatient with them in the same way they were with her when she was not full grown acting.

I think that if they had been more patient with her then she would have learned to exercise patience. Be that is it may, I think she is being mean to them.

Should she get over the past or give them a dose of their own medicine?
</div></div>

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: Parents and aging question

They mostly were lacking in the skills they failed to teach their kids.
Or in the methods to impart it successfully. <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">When you first reach true adulthood you realise your parents did not teach you everything you need to know. As an adult we forgive our parents for what they did not teach us and then do the right thing. Your friend knows the right thing to do and should do it if s/he is a true adult. </div></div>

[Tulip]

Re: Parents and aging question

Thanks for your responses. This is not a topic that I can speak to her about unless I see the situation getting worse than it is. I want to say something, but the time is not right yet.

You know while I was typing that above, I changed my mind. I think I have an obligation to say something especially before it gets worse. It may not change a thing, but at least I will have given her something to think about. If the friendship cannot make it through then so be it.

[FinanciallySmart]

Re: Parents and aging question

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tulip</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If you are like me, you learned a long time ago that usually when someone starts a question with “I have a friend that” it means they are talking about themselves. That is not about to be the case, but I wanted to acknowledge the pattern before I got started. So here we go…

I have a friend whose parents were not particularly accommodating of her innocence of things when she was growing up. Apparently, there was a complete lack of inherently understanding this or that in the same manner that an adult with experience would. Now the parents are headed to the elderly childlike phase and she gets really impatient with them in the same way they were with her when she was not full grown acting.

I think that if they had been more patient with her then she would have learned to exercise patience. Be that is it may, I think she is being mean to them.

Should she get over the past or give them a dose of their own medicine?
</div></div>

She need to learn to forgive. So she was living for this day to pay back their deeds to them but she should remember that the bible says honor your parents. Forgiveness is something that allow the heart to be light and joyful. Once she learn this then she will realize that at the end of the day it is all about LOVE. Send your friend to this blog http://ksurrina.com and after reading she can see that nothing is too hard to forgive.

[Tulip]

Re: Parents and aging question

Thanks Financially Smart

[Marielle]

Re: Parents and aging question

Hmm, difficult yes

At a certain point you have to realise that your parents only did what they thought was best, and they are just continuing the pattern that they themselves were brought up in

Be blessed that you have come further along the road than them!

Yes, aging parents, so hard, but you have to be there for them *, cos they gave you life (* of course not for parents who deliberately abused you etc)

my mum has dementia, so I am &quot;being there, doing that&quot;
sometimes it drives me crazy but at least I will not be &quot;if only&quot; further down the road
(and I told my son if I ever get that way, please shoot me! LOL, haha)