Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

[halfwaytree]

I have never had to deal with an elderly parent or grandparent before so all this is new to me.

I have received repeated phone calls from the nursing home in which my father is a resident complaining that he is making verbal sexual advances and also touching both the nurses and female residents in inappropriate ways.

When I try to talk to him about it he says it is not a big deal and he just tries to brush it off. If I keep talking about it he just pretends he can't hear me.

Aye Sah (heavy sigh)!

I'm at my wits end!!!

Anybody have any suggestions?

[Laurel]

Re: Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

oh dear ....

[Suesumba]

Re: Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

o dear x 3

if he's suffering from dementia, it's likely a throwback to how he was as a young man... not that helps.

... these nurses should know how to deal with it though, i'm sure it's not the first instance of it.

what do they expect you to do?

[Nanook]

Re: Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Curmudgeon_Milo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I have never had to deal with an elderly parent or grandparent before so all this is new to me.

I have received repeated phone calls from the nursing home in which my father is a resident complaining that he is making verbal sexual advances and also touching both the nurses and female residents in inappropriate ways.

When I try to talk to him about it he says it is not a big deal and he just tries to brush it off. If I keep talking about it he just pretends he can't hear me.

Aye Sah (heavy sigh)!

I'm at my wits end!!!

Anybody have any suggestions? </div></div>

Some tough questions. Does your father have a social worker in charge of his care? It may be that he needs to be in a more supervised setting.

I am also going through some rough patches with my parents who have been living in assisted living but since my brother passed my mother has gone steadily down hill and seems she is not far behind. She has dementia and was placed in the nursing home section, which, frankly...I find lacking.

The situation should soon improve though, as she will be living in a group setting with fewer residents and more personal care.

Maybe your dad needs to be moved. I find it strange that they would complain to you with these concerns, as they are professionals and should be equipped/trained to deal with these situations. Especially if dementia is involved. You cannot reason with a person with dementia, as it does no good. You can only handle it, one situation at a time.

Good luck Milo, I know how much it sucks

[halfwaytree]

Re: Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

Thank you all!!

I can see that it may be signs of dementia taking hold and thus the personality changes.

Yes, there is not much I can do except try to get him the proper help.

[Nanook]

Re: Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

Good luck MIlo &amp; a prayer!

[Gen]

Re: Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

Milo..I was going to ask about the dementia, but it has already been brought up.

The nursing home staff should be &quot;knowledgeable&quot;(sp) and/or trained to handle those situations

Speak to the Director and let them know that is what is going on.

[mountaingal]

Re: Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

is he in a facility that has a lot of jamaican residents/staff (on the assumption that your father is jamaican)?

[Wahalla]

Re: Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Curmudgeon_Milo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I have never had to deal with an elderly parent or grandparent before so all this is new to me.

I have received repeated phone calls from the nursing home in which my father is a resident complaining that he is making verbal sexual advances and also touching both the nurses and female residents in inappropriate ways.

When I try to talk to him about it he says it is not a big deal and he just tries to brush it off. If I keep talking about it he just pretends he can't hear me.

Aye Sah (heavy sigh)!

I'm at my wits end!!!

Anybody have any suggestions? </div></div>

Gwane daddi is all mi gat fi seh... Not age or dementia can diminiser his nature!!!!

My suggestion:::: Take him to a whorehouse once a week!

[Emperah]

Re: Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

[Emperah]

Re: Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Curmudgeon_Milo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Thank you all!!

Yes, there is not much I can do except try to get him the proper help. </div></div>

I wonder what dat could be

nuttin nuh wrang wid yuh faddah, him name man an de way him a act mean him nuh dead yet.

[SandiF]

Re: Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

BOAL!!

But you know this is what came to mind as well... he's a man and age obviously has not diminished his nature. I personally have a friend who had similar situation with his pops and he eventually had to get some girls to care for his dad in the manner Wahalla has suggested. He said it helped GREATLY. Albiet he had to pay for the ladies service.


<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wahalla</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Gwane daddi is all mi gat fi seh... Not age or dementia can diminiser his nature!!!!

My suggestion:::: Take him to a whorehouse once a week! </div></div>

[Peasie]

Re: Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

Lawd Wahala

[Wahalla]

Re: Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

I might seem to be silly but I was being serious... This seems to be a an issue.. In fact I have heard discussisons where there was a rise in libido as dementia set it. and this was one of the serious solutions proposed.

From a personal persective I too had a father who had dementia and I could not handle it. My mother who was the care give gave some hints that there was an increase in his libido... And some suggestion that his moral boundries lets say broadened.. As to the fact that the moral boundies sway lets say that makes sense as his life experience which gives sway is swept away the moral certitudes that we all develop has to sway.

Dementia is not a joke guys it is a living death....So when I hit fifty I am taking up a pipe.. Give me cancer or dementia ???? There is some anecdodal evidence that tobbaco may delay dementia or smokers die before demetia.

I would like to hear Doc Dudd medical take on it though..

[halfwaytree]

Re: Help! Mi Faddah!!!!

Maybe that kind of &quot;help&quot; may help him. Then again it could kill him.