She's Finally Here!!!

[msgoody2shoes]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body">It really sucks she fought for her but it seemed like somebody paid the judge or something. First it was no way he could have custody and all of a sudden they give him custody. The judge even told my cousin he could order her to give everything she bought for the child crib, clothes, toys, etc to be given over to the father of the child. My cousin said she would burn the whole lot first. The system really sucks, she paid out of her purse. The girl is 2 now and my cousin doesn't know anything about her. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] </div></div>

That's so sad. She was an important part of that child's life and now she can't even see her. That's what I don't want to happen if I have to let Kimmy go. I have a photo album that I would send with her so that she can always see (she won't remember I'm sure) the people who were in her life from 10 months on. She has a ton of things and I'll be darn if I will send them with her. I have spent more money on her than DFCS could ever as far as things she needs everyday. I'll send her with a few clothes and maybe special toys, but I am sure she would be back, so her room would stay as is. These people seem like the kind that will tire of her and change their minds based on their lack of concern so far. Then you never know.

It may be a ploy to get her back with her Mom. She's not going to come out of hiding and fight for her child because that would put her back into Fostercare. SO I guess they use the Aunt/Cousin, whatever she is. They are all hiding out in the Grandma's house so I heard. So is she is sent with that person, she will essentially be with her Mom. Sigh...

"THE PRAYERS OF A RIGHTEOUS MAN AVAILETH MUCH". Pray for us. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70384-praying.gif[/img]

[keesha]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

Oh my I don`t know the laws in your state but in Calif if the placement is 6 months or more you have the right to ask the court for standing and to get that you have to be the defacto parent of the child. That means you have stood in as the substitute parent of the child. An attorney would appear in court to request this for you and be there to represent your interests in this situation. It would be independent of the attorney for social services or Kimmy`s attorney..I myself would just be afraid to trust the agency..In Calif a foster parent can request this status of the court again if the placement has been 6 months or longer. I sure wish you the best with this and know this has to be a very scary time with everything being so close to termination of parental rights...

[msgoody2shoes]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: keesha</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Oh my I don`t know the laws in your state but in Calif if the placement is 6 months or more you have the right to ask the court for standing and to get that you have to be the defacto parent of the child. That means you have stood in as the substitute parent of the child. An attorney would appear in court to request this for you and be there to represent your interests in this situation. It would be independent of the attorney for social services or Kimmy`s attorney..I myself would just be afraid to trust the agency..In Calif a foster parent can request this status of the court again if the placement has been 6 months or longer. I sure wish you the best with this and know this has to be a very scary time with everything being so close to termination of parental rights...
</div></div>

Well, that's more info than I've heard. The timeframe in Ga is 12 months. Kimmy has been in Care for all 22 months of her life! At our panel review last August,they gave the case manager until 9/14 to get a family member in the office to fingerprint to get Kimmy and said if they pass that time, go for TPR. They did not come and the Courts ordered the TPR. If all had went like it was supposed to, we would be done with the adoption already.

I am not familiar with "defacto parent". Can you break that down for me? I will definitely contact the courts and find out who her court appointed Attorney is and see what he/she can do for us. I know there must be something. If the courts say TPR, I would think that means all bargaining for visitations would be off. It should be put off until after adoption has went thru due to the timeframe given for them to request it long time ago. I would not have a problem with them seeing Kimmy after the adoption as long as it is supervised and I see that they have her interest at heart and are not trying to disrupt her life. Next Saturday will be 1 year she has been with me and I don't think they have ever seen her or seen her since she was at least 7-8 months old.

Please give me any info that you have. I am sure GA will be somewhat different as far as laws are concerned, but it will give me something to go on. I get more info from foster parents or someone who has adopted than DFCS or my agency. Someone who has been there already can be more helpful. I don't trust DFCS and my agency is just standing by doing nothing. I can't even trust them to call DFCS and see what is going on. They only know what I tell them. It is my first and last time going thru this.

Thanks keesha!

[keesha]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

I will pm you...

[msgoody2shoes]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: keesha</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I will pm you... </div></div>

Thanks for the valuable info. See your pm. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]

[msgoody2shoes]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: msgoody2shoes</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Well, when I am waiting to hear good news about the TPR or that we are getting closer to Adoption, I get mixed news today that I do not know how to take or believe.

I had not heard from our Case Manager with DFCS since 3/9 when I got Kimmy's birth certificate. I called last week to find out the aunt/cousin that was once trying to get Kimmy, was coming in the office to talk about Kimmy's Aunt that she had. The girl got in a fight and made her lose her Government apt. He called me today to say that they are setting up a schedule for her to have visits with Kimmy. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] I nearly flipped out. I was at work and ended up leaving because I could not concentrate.

After 2 years come June, this person suddenly has an interest in seeing Kimmy to "see how she is and how she's living". After I have asked for months, why no one was visiting with her and he said they never requested it nor asked about her. Why now??!! He claims that when a family member is interested, they won't deny them so that she can have contact with a relative. This is the same woman that said she did not want to have anything to do with Kimmy or the child that got her evicted. So why would they even entertain her? Unless he's still trying to get her with family.

Of course, I asked if they are changing the case plan for us. We are supposed to be going from reunification to non-reunification, TPR and then Adoption. He claims that this is still the plan and her visits do not mean they are planning to place Kimmy with her. I find that hard to believe. Why would you grant her visitation and then say you are going to monitor her to see how they go? I am having mixed emotions. I want to believe that he is being honest, but I do not see the reasoning behind this sudden interest. He said she does not qualify in his opinion because she wrote the baby off in June. I smell a rat.

But there is nothing I can do because even though I am Foster to Adopt, I still have no rights. I feel like we are getting so close and they are putting a fly in the ointment. This could cause a problem. Don't get me wrong, I had no problem with family visiting, but when it has not happened for almost 2 years, I have issues with it now. Why now??

Jesus keep us near the cross. Keep us in your prayers. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70384-praying.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70384-praying.gif[/img]

MsGoody & Kimmy </div></div>


Well, I did get some good news tonight. I have a Church member who has been fostering/adopting for about 20 years and she keeps me informed on what should/should not happen. I chanced to talk to her future neice tonight and she told me to call her. I am glad I did.

It seems that her sister happened to have been foster mother to Kimmy's aunt. She was such a handful that she bought a bed for the aunt/cousin to take the girl out of her house. She then got the aunt/cousin evicted. Well, she wanted to bring the girl to Church but something always told her not to. We discovered the connection only tonight! She spoke of her sister (Kimmy's Mom) and that she had a baby and was pregnant again (before she had the miscarriage). It seems that the whole family is unstable (figured that) and there is really no one qualified to take over Kimmy. Unsavory lifestyles and all. The aunt/cousin is not stable and has kids of her own that she can't care for. It's all very sad, but I feel a lot better.

The case manager has been pestering her sister to take the girl in again and she staunchly refuses. I am sure this is the same tactic that he is using with the aunt/cousin to take over Kimmy. I am surprised that he knows this family's history and is trying to even get Kimmy involved with them. His goal should be to keep her in a loving stable home where she is well taken care of and can lead a productive and spiritual life. Why should her living conditions consist of prostitution and drugs which is going on in her family?? What kind of life does he think she will have?

If these people clean up their acts, then they can possibly have access to her. But what good will it do her now? I am very much opposed to any contact right about now, but it is not my call. Hopefully, I can at least get in contact with her Court appointed Attorney to see what he/she is doing to ensure that her best interest will be at hand. Someone in the courts needs to know what is going on and make sure everything is Kosher. I really feel better now about any alleged visits. They probably won't last if they ever happen.

Whew! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/yahoo.gif[/img]

[Englan Girl]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

Morning Mg2s. I've made myself late for working reading this thread and am glad you have Kimmy and are doing all you can for her. Hopefully you WILL be able to keep her despite the idiotic State people and her family putting barriers in your way.

Your story reminded me of my situation with my niece. Unfortunately it became too much after 5 1/2 years and she is now being fostered elsewhere, but I and the extended family (paternal) still have regular contact with her. You hang in there with yours because you are clearly the best person to care for her longterm [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img]

[msgoody2shoes]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Englan Girl</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Morning Mg2s. I've made myself late for working reading this thread and am glad you have Kimmy and are doing all you can for her. Hopefully you WILL be able to keep her despite the idiotic State people and her family putting barriers in your way.

Your story reminded me of my situation with my niece. Unfortunately it became too much after 5 1/2 years and she is now being fostered elsewhere, but I and the extended family (paternal) still have regular contact with her. You hang in there with yours because you are clearly the best person to care for her longterm [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img]

</div></div>


Thank you for that vote of confidence! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] I really hope they feel the same way. I got the name of her Child Advocate Attorney today and his number. I will call him tomorrow and hopefully find out what I can do. I also found out there is a May 15th court date that I plan to attend. And, my Agency will be calling the case manager's Super to find out what is going on and why they are not kept informed of what's going on with Kimmy's case. I would prefer that they ask the questions instead of me. I don't want to anger anybody.

Hopefully things will get better and I can get more involved with the goings on with our case. I do plan to attend that court date and see what is going on as well. I feel 100% better than I did a few days ago. I let the worry go and started thinking and what a difference that makes. The power of prayer. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70384-praying.gif[/img]

[msgoody2shoes]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

Kimmy and I reached our 1 year Anniversary on the 21st. That was a blessing all things considered.

She has a new Specialist Worker who aims to file a TPR and start the adoption process. I don't know when to expect that. We had planned to meet at my house to introduce ourselves and the day of she and the previous case worker backed out and went to the Daycare just to see Kimmy. Of course, he let me know and the owner called me as soon as they called her. The Daycare had only good things to say about Kimmy and her care. She was surprised at how healthy and happy she looked. They even asked if she could talk. She's been talking since before she turned 1 and her case manager still did not know. After all, he only sees her in court panels every 6 months. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

We're still hanging tight and tying a knot.

[Ephratahe]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

Wow, ((((MsGoody)))) they're really putting you thru it, aren't they? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img] These are the kinds of stories that upset me - the fact that Kimmy is in a good home but no one seems to notice or care. Instead, they would choose to place her in an unstable environment. Thankfully I haven't seen such neglect in NYS. As many problems as we have statewide, things seem to be a bit better in this area, thankfully.

Hang in ther (((((MsGoody and Kimmy)))) [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img] . God isn't done yet [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif[/img]

[msgoody2shoes]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ephra</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Wow, ((((MsGoody)))) they're really putting you thru it, aren't they? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img] These are the kinds of stories that upset me - the fact that Kimmy is in a good home but no one seems to notice or care. Instead, they would choose to place her in an unstable environment. Thankfully I haven't seen such neglect in NYS. As many problems as we have statewide, things seem to be a bit better in this area, thankfully.

Hang in ther (((((MsGoody and Kimmy)))) [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img] . God isn't done yet [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif[/img] </div></div>

Yes, ma'am. I really do not understand this system and the way they are behaving about Kimmy. One Lady that came out of the Foster Parenting training with me, got a little boy around 4 or 5 and they tried to get her to adopt him before she had him a month. THEN, they disclosed that he had been sexually molested by males after he was caught molesting another little boy. Why the rush to adopt HIM out??

I introduced a co-worker to my Agency before I got Kimmy. She went through the class and just the other day, she adopted an infant girl. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] True enough, I do not know the parental backgrounds of those children, but come on! It's like Kimmy has no bio parents. Mom hasn't seen her since Feb' 06. Nobody knows Dad. Before I got Kimmy, they offered me a Hispanic 5 month old boy who was born to a teenage girl who was raped by her Mom's boyfriend. They said he was going to be adopted because the girl did not want him. I didn't call them back within 15 minutes and they called someone else.

I don't understand. Why me? Maybe it is a test. Hopefully we will go through it and come out on the winning side. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70384-praying.gif[/img]

[msgoody2shoes]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

Well, we went to court yesterday and it was rescheduled for Thursday to determine if DFCS keeps custody of Kimmy. I got to meet her Guardian Ad Litium who is completely worthless to us. He was assigned to Kimmy in Oct but did not know until I told him last week. So we have someone who suppose to be looking out for her best interest and he does not even know her. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

I met the DFCS worker's Lawyer and she said to file the TPR despite the age of Mom because she has not had contact with them or the baby in 15 months. Hopefully, we will go to a hearing on that the 1st week of June. Seems like things are starting finally. The DFCS Lawyer seems like a "mover&shaker" so I feel confident that she is going to do what's best for Kimmy. She determined that just by doing a quick glance at the notes in Kimmy's file. Anyone can see that if a Mom has not tried to reunite, visit or have any contact with their baby in 15 months, that is evident that she has no interest. She asked to visit once last year and was told she had to turn herself in first. Her reply was that she would simply have another baby. She got pregnant but she lost it. The child really needs help but they can't help her if she remains a runaway. Sad. Thank God Kimmy is not caught up in that. I hope she comes forth eventually because I want her to have a relationship with Kimmy after we adopt. I never want her to lose her identity or her relatives. But that, of course, depends on their behaviour.

[Seveen]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

thinking of you and Kimmy today [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70384-praying.gif[/img]

[kia027]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

Thinking & visualizing a court appt in your favor today msgoody

[keesha]

Re: Meet Ms. Kimmy

Sooo hope everything went well for you and Kimmy today...