Why do you think some people don't want children?

[Tulip]

I'm one of them.

As I get older and the time for it not being an option draws closer, I have decided to at least try to examine the possible reasons why I don't want to.

What do you think and don't hold back?

[CeaBee]

Re: Why do you think some people don't want children?

same reason i don't want a dog

it would probably be for you to tell us the reasons. My sister told me that she thought that she was "too selfish" to have kids and I agreed with her

just kidding...i understood what she was saying...especially since at that time I was sleep-deprived with a baby and a toddler and just trying to keep mi head above water.

my parents try talk to her bout it...my father tell her to have just one and send it go JA. he and mommy would raise it , and that she would regret it later in life. I told them to stop hassle her bout it, cause this being a parent thing is no joke , and some days I not sure that i cut out for it either

[mountaingal]

Re: Why do you think some people don't want children?

What cb said, lol.

actually, had lunch with a friend last week and asked her that (well, the time for having kids was past, but asked her why she never had any). she said she spent enough of her younger years caring for siblings, and one was especially sickly.

another friend had severe issues with her mother and spent nuff years in therapy, and i think by the time she got thru all that, and found a man she spent comfortable with, she couldnt bother with kids again.

a significant number of my women friends are childless by choice. they associate it with freedom. and these were women who were raised in nuclear families - mommy, daddy and siblings.

[kia027]

Re: Why do you think some people don't want children?

Yes I have friends who are childless by choice.. I knew 2 couples but one got accidentally pregnant once and then the second time around decided to have the baby. Her mother is helping raise the child as my friend is very career oriented and considering she had the baby at 45 does not have the strength to be sleep deprived for so long. Her husband helps out too and I think between the 3 of them the child is happy and fun. Her original plan was to be the really cool aunt.

The other couple I know just enjoys their freedom and love to travel so having a child would interfere with that esp when school starts.

[Skelly]

Re: Why do you think some people don't want children?

My sister claim she like her life and nuh waan no pickney tie her down til she meet a man an waan have baby all of a sudden. She is 46 btw

My aunt just like her space and have neither man nor child. She is a neat freak so I suppose having a family wud infringe pan dat.

Most of my friends are still childless. We range from mid twenties to mid thirties. They claim they wanna get the career right first and hold out for prince charming. Mi waan si how well dat works out. I have one who approaching 35 and she fling out her bc and sleeping wid a cute guy in hopes of getting pg. From me know her in college til now she has never wanted kids cuz she fraid dem ruin her body etc etc but now her clock a tick loud an she a fret.

[sistactry]

Re: Why do you think some people don't want children?

Tulip, a one me have, and God know, if me did have sense, me wudda never have de one....BUT.....................

whey me wudda deh widdout me grand dem,

cause dem truly mean everyting to me,

but seriously, having kids is a ever never ending ting.....den all when u get de grands dem, a de same ting all over again....................it nuh tap,

me tell ppl dat i wish i had a long big skirt fe hide all a dem under, de world yaa a get too vicious now man...raaa

[sistactry]

Re: Why do you think some people don't want children?

u kno Skell, ppl sometimes substitute dem feelings,

i know a woman who dont have no kids, well no, dats not true, she have bout 5girls, 3 fe her husband, but she run whey leff her husband, and go a mobay and have 2 more, den run whey leff dem deh to, all 5girls find out bout each other, and de fuss husband a daddy now to all a dem, but....

she finally run so till, she reach america,

and now she deh a queens a live....but fe her house u cant find seat fe sit down, if u go inna her house u wont find the couch, she have bout 100 a everyting, 10vaccum, 10coffee maker, all she a do is buy i suppose fe mek up for the silence inna her house,

[Tulip]

Re: Why do you think some people don't want children?

My roommate in college was a nursing major. I nearly died looking at some birth pics. Surely, you couldn't expect me to open up like that lol?

Seriously though, I have been given the I'm selfish and put my career first accusations. I think that I felt like the adult and woman of the house for too many years so I just don't want to do it anymore.

My parents are still together, but I felt like the grown-up. I'm tired.

[sistactry]

Re: Why do you think some people don't want children?

OK.....den misses a time u tek ur rest,

find a man wid kids, and hopefully unu relationship can fill the holes you 'may' have regarding kids

find a good girl friend who you can chill wid, go on vacation, shopping, theatre, etc

then lean back, cause u wont have no monkey pan ur back.....

yes....having kids is like having a monkey on your back.....cause you always a go worry bout dem, wha dem a do, who dem a go meet, who dem a go married, who a go waan hurt your grands,

[sistactry]

Re: Why do you think some people don't want children?

as to the pics.....raaa

me naa lie, dat ish hat u faat.....

[Wendy]

Re: Why do you think some people don't want children?

Tulip,
Mi have two girlfriends who are like that. They have different reasons . One of them her reason center solely around her career and the other one scorn baby poop and puke. Shi nat into dat

Personally, I grew up with an attitude that if I didn’t have kids I would be just fine. I was one of those "if it happen – iit happen" person . Wasn’t a big deal. But going through the day to day joys of being a mother to my little one now..I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I now see what I would be missing , so for that I am thankful it happened .

Which brings me to another girl dat wan a mi bredren married to. She told him she did not want kids. Her reason – shi was approaching 40 and she was afraid baby would “spwail” har figure (no joke) . We felt bad for the guy cause we knew just how much he wanted a family. Him marrid har anyway. ..Well two twos, she pregnant. Did all a hide it fram wi fi a lang time. But when di belly a get ready fi show shi announce it an we were SHOCKED cause wi a tink seh grass woulda tun orange before shi eva have pickney to how shi was going on

Anyways, she who neva want to have kids have now become a clingy mother. I hate to say this, but It would be better off if she stayed childless cause she is raising this little boy to be a zombie. He is 5 years old and he not even in school yet. Shi a home school im fram im lickle. No exposure to kids his age. Him knee cyaan touch grung…. Him noh have no social skills whatsoever! He is the most unpleasant little kid you will ever come across. Mi sey mi sarry fi di pickney soh til

Parents aren't perfect people and there is certainly no parenting handbook out there.. but mi come to di conclusion seh it is really not fi everybady

[SandiF]

Re: Why do you think some people don't want children?

People always asking "why you don't have children" or expressing some surprise or sympathy when I say "I do not have a child(ren)".

I have no reason or interest to validate to anyone why I do not want to have children.

[sistactry]

Re: Why do you think some people don't want children?

one of my friends son was getting married, and I was sooo excited for them, but she shocked me when she said, her son told his wife, he wants no kids, me say wha....

but i have since now come to understand perfectly well, that it was a decision he made after some serious thinking,

its not shocking to me now, (maturity has its advantages) lol~

[Skelly]

Re: Why do you think some people don't want children?

I have known from I was 13 that I wanted to be a mother...some people know from whatever point in them life for whatever reason dat dem doan waan nuh pickney...jus haffi respect dem reasons an not look at dem as weird for not wanting to procreate...

[Tulip]

Re: Why do you think some people don't want children?

SistaCtry, I am going to rest as much as I can lol. They're aging so my job is not done yet. It's more time consuming now than before.

I sometimes think that a teenage pregnancy would have been a better option. I'm not able for all that now and starting from scratch with a new life.

Beyond that, I guess I never really wanted it. I'm auntee, nanny, and what not and then they go home.