Really Fed Up

[twiney]

I know my expectations are not too high and my older child seems to be intent on making me a bellevue patient (not to mention how the next one tek to screaming and tantrums like nobody's business but that is a whole other thing)

Homework forgotten at school 3rd time now (1st time it didnt come home so he couldnt practice dictee or finish it so he didnt get to hand it in).

3 jackets left at school , hat and gloves and yes they werent found until I went there and searched for them... and other thing

When you tell him to do or not do something he finds a way to do the opposite or something out of the ordinary.

I give up...

Tonight I gave him lines to write
He has lost tv privilages indefinitely
He cant walk home from school by himself (so my sister will pick him up and check him back)
I wrote a note for the teacher to withold a recess tomorrow so he can work on the homework he should have worked on tonight.
Birthday party cancelled.

Help If I am being too harsh how else can I do it? He was told that last time any of this happened he would face these consequences so I am only delivering on the promise.

He will be 7 in December and is in grade 2.

[kia027]

Re: Really Fed Up

May I recommend this book? It will help explain some of the things he is doing.



Honestly what he is doing is typical for his age. Boys, in particular it seems, cant find anything unless it is in front of him. I personally would not take away his recess but would consider him going into school early if possible to get it done. An alternative would be a note to the teacher saying he forgot his work and having him do it over the weekend.

For the other things that have been taken because you told him, I would say you have to follow through because you said it.

[twiney]

Re: Really Fed Up

He has 3 recess periods so only taking away 1. ... i will look for the book

[kia027]

Re: Really Fed Up

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Twiney</div><div class="ubbcode-body">He has 3 recess periods so only taking away 1. ... i will look for the book
</div></div>

oh ok.. Yes the book will help a lot - it talks about the jekyll and hyde of the 6 yr old mind but more importantly shows how they develop cyclically

[CeaBee]

Re: Really Fed Up

BB would forget homework at school almost regularly up to about fourth grade....I would take him for it....because i thought it was more important for him to keep up with school than make my point that way.(ie: not taking him to get the work). Of course him would hear it from me.

5th grade and up...haven't had any problems with it.

One thing that his homeroom teacher mentioned recently just in general conversation about responsibility was that she takes her kids to get their forgotten homework but that they have to pay for her gas and time by doing additional chores around the house.

Today LB forgot his water bottle at school again. He has another one (or two or three if you count everybody else water bottle), so I don't let it bother me too much as the forgotten water bottle usually comes home in the next day or two.


When they deliberately doing something or i think they deliberately &quot;forgetting&quot; to do something is when i usually come down harder on them

[Tulip]

Re: Really Fed Up

I think I'm really happy sometimes living vicariously through you ladies. You're strong for sure and have all types of challenges you manage to sort out.

[mountaingal]

Re: Really Fed Up

the cancelled birthday party sounds a bit rough.

[ILP]

Re: Really Fed Up

Twines

As the daughter of a mom with 10 kids (yes, you read right) 3 of them boys and the teacher of many boys and now the mother of one. O, and mi live wid a grown one .... i've manage to keep my sanity by adopting the rules my mom/dad had. I've applied it to all other areas, as it relates to kids.

I have 10 things (parents had 5) that I call My Constitution. They are things that PERIOD you receive quick, swift, and usually severe consequences if they are broken. All the rest of stuff (while sometimes very annoying)...I can negotiate. It has managed to work out with me and my siblings growing up, it has worked in my home...now that I am an adult, and it has carried me professionally...while working with kids.

I've read the book Kia suggested (for a project I had once). I am not necessarily an explanation/insight seeker when faced with things...but the premise of some of the stuff in the book was interesting. You might check it out?

[RichD]

Re: Really Fed Up

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">the cancelled birthday party sounds a bit rough. </div></div>

i think its a good choice....very high impact with little effort.

[CeaBee]

Re: Really Fed Up

i think it kinda harsh for a 7 year old too

but i'm the &quot;soft&quot; parent so doan listen to me

[kia027]

Re: Really Fed Up

I felt it harsh too but since she said it she has to follow through with it.. but Twiney what u can do if offer him ways to work the party back onto the table

make the party the reward by making a list of certain things you would like him to do and he earns points toward the party..

This way you did not go back on your word per se but offering him a chance at redemption

[CeaBee]

Re: Really Fed Up

You read these too kia?

[RichD]

Re: Really Fed Up

it sound to me like is cumulative transgressions and many warnings have been issued ...a harsh action like this should only be need one time.

[RichD]

Re: Really Fed Up

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Twiney</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
When you tell him to do or not do something he finds a way to do the opposite or something out of the ordinary.

</div></div>

give us some examples of the kinds of thing you dealing wid.

[twiney]

Re: Really Fed Up

2 nights ago we put in some new sockets in the basement with the pull cords... Saw him eying it and trying to get involved from the get go told him not a toy not allowed to play with it... I don't know what or who got into him last night he jumped up grabbed the chain and wrecked it. I almost broke my back on the specific toy that I moved, told him to move, moved and told him to move again 3 times (yes the entire set is now confiscated like the lego)