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I am a single mom of 2 kids and working some serious hours. I do not have any family or close friends for support system. I love my kids very much and always put them first. I rarely buy any clothes or anything for ,myself becasue it's all about them. But my 6 year old is so vert very hard to deal with at times. No matter what I say the child does not listen. He listen to everything that I say on the phone and the like and repeat it at school. In the morning is pure attitude and I can hardly control him to get him ready for school...I am constantly late for work. Then the other one (4 year old) is constantly on me if I go to the bathroom ...it's mommy...mommy At nights they come out bed and into mine....if I move into their room them follow me. It's like I cant get 2 seconds to breath or do anything in the house becasue the mintue I leave them to do something then them start acting up. Sometimes I feel like I am going mad out my mind. All I can do is go in the shower and cry. In there is the only place I can get some peace. so i end out shouting at them all the time. very very LOUD I know it's wrong but I am so stressed...I am afraid I will strting hitting them what can I do just to get a little relief
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Re: Please do not judge me
where are you located? -
Re: Please do not judge me
I remember those days when my two were young.
hush cindy
. don't know that i have much advice for you but i understand what u going through.
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Re: Please do not judge me
Cindy, your kids are stressed out too. They're just expressing it differently. You all need a vacation to de-stress and reconnect.
hush yah...Comment
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Re: Please do not judge me
hush cindy
can u find a gym that has babysitting? Work out world has them and this way you can at least take an hour to do some cardio to raise your endorphins while they play
how about a chore chart of what the kids can do with a reward (a dvd, game night etc) to help motivate them?
eg morning duties
brush teeth
wash face
make bed
put on clothes
etcIf you don't fight for what you deserve, you deserve what you get.
We are > Fossil Fuels --- Bill McKibben 350.orgComment
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Re: Please do not judge me
ah ...been dere...still dere...it does get better...
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Re: Please do not judge me
maybe they are suffering from abandonment issues considering the situation with dad. u all may need family therapy.
hushComment
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Re: Please do not judge me
that's why i was asking, FT, where she lived cuz i was wondering what kind of family/social services were in her area - to help either with counselling or respite or both.
i think she needs a break, sounds like she doesnt have much family support.Comment
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Re: Please do not judge me
Cindy
Like CB, I remember those days and I am not proud of my yelling
Those years are very hard on any parent. Not sure if you can get help, but you do need intervention with a counseling or parenting group. It is your little family and I know you love your children
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Re: Please do not judge me
I can't see how someone would judge you...dealing with children in an ideal situation (whatever that is) is difficult, let alone trying to do it without help. the one piece of advise that i received when i had my son was "i can not be the best parent my son deserved if i was not healthy." that health is physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. you MUST take care of yourself before you can do right by your children. immediately, you need to make time to have at least 30-60 minutes to yourself. right now it may not be daily...but try weekly. surely you have a friend that can take the kids for 30-60 minutes in a week? you could use that time to just be still..or siddung on one park bench, as long as the time is spent on you.
currently, i am a member of a childcare coop. and it basically means that i give 2 hours every six-seven weeks and i get that time back on the other weeks in between. if i need more time...i pay and other bills just have to stay until next time.
in the immediate (long term)...you may need the intervention of a counselor or social worker. they are great with getting you what you may need in terms of services and teaching you some coping skills.
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Re: Please do not judge me
i used a star chart
down one side was the activity i wanted my son to do - dress himself - read quietly for 30 minutes - eat dinner - go to bed on time - stay in bed - you can make the activity anything you want
if the activity was done properly he would get a star for the day
if he had many stars by the end of the week - he could pick something out of the prize bag - an ice cream cone - a movie - candy - a dollar
and i had a strict bed time for him - 7:30 (at that age) and a star for staying in bed - that way i had time for myself until i went to bed - at one point i bought a small tent and sleeping bag in his room - that keep him in there - could only go in the tent for bed time - i also used some "white noise" - for me it was a humidifier - my friend used a box fan - so sounds in the rest of the house were not so obvious
i posted the chart on the refrigerator and i let him see all the prizes that were in the prize box - folded white pieces of paper - draw one if there were enough stars on his chart by the weekend
try and get a set routine so they know what's coming next when they are at home with you for the few hours they are awake - most kids thrive on routine
stay in touch - we're here for you
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Re: Please do not judge me
i hate when this happensComment
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Re: Please do not judge me
wow, Cindy u gone??
((((Ja.com)))) unu a really de best
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Re: Please do not judge me
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Seveen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">i used a star chart
down one side was the activity i wanted my son to do - dress himself - read quietly for 30 minutes - eat dinner - go to bed on time - stay in bed - you can make the activity anything you want
if the activity was done properly he would get a star for the day
if he had many stars by the end of the week - he could pick something out of the prize bag - an ice cream cone - a movie - candy - a dollar
and i had a strict bed time for him - 7:30 (at that age) and a star for staying in bed - that way i had time for myself until i went to bed - at one point i bought a small tent and sleeping bag in his room - that keep him in there - could only go in the tent for bed time - i also used some "white noise" - for me it was a humidifier - my friend used a box fan - so sounds in the rest of the house were not so obvious
i posted the chart on the refrigerator and i let him see all the prizes that were in the prize box - folded white pieces of paper - draw one if there were enough stars on his chart by the weekend
try and get a set routine so they know what's coming next when they are at home with you for the few hours they are awake - most kids thrive on routine
stay in touch - we're here for you </div></div>
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