My daughter's boyfriend

**julie*mango** · 06-06-2008, 05:28 PM

Re: My daughter's boyfriend

As a rule anybody who come inna mi house have to wash dem hands first...ok...dat rule applies to immediate family only but that is because them usually touch up the baby. I don't know about ppl today but she better love him as him is or leave him because once man set a certain way there is no breaking them in...

**kia027** · 06-06-2008, 05:36 PM

Re: My daughter's boyfriend

I dont think is less concerned about the hands thing

the changing of clothes may have come from our days of wearing uniforms to school and changing out of them.. as adults we carried said habit to changing from work clothes and taking a quick shower.

nowadays it may be harder to change from street clothes (depending on where/how you work) and a shower right before bed may suffice.

as to the AM shower.. well if it was in the dead of winter and you shower right b4 bed, a good tidy up may suffice cause ie eena de mawning??

<span style="font-style: italic">disclaimer: just thinking why this could happen out loud. </span>

**Fyah** · 06-06-2008, 05:37 PM

Re: My daughter's boyfriend

That is my rule as well, but it is across the board family, friend, or foe, and I think that is why my daughter is so squeamish.

You are so right, and I have told her that he is who he is, and won't change, but because she made headway with him washing his hands, she thinks she can change the other "habits".

I don't get it though. How do these people not feel dirty? I have employees who's wear the same clothes to work at least 3 times for the week. You can tell when they haven't been in the shower, because their hairs look limp and dirty and the look completely lethargic.

**kia027** · 06-06-2008, 05:41 PM

Re: My daughter's boyfriend

might be a european thing? I used to work with some people from europe who used to wear the same thing in the same week and these people lived in the same city where they worked so it wasnt a travel thing.

however one manager I had only had 1 pr a jeans he used to wash it at night & wear it the next day

**Fyah** · 06-06-2008, 05:42 PM

Re: My daughter's boyfriend

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I dont think is less concerned about the hands thing

the changing of clothes may have come from our days of wearing uniforms to school and changing out of them.. as adults we carried said habit to changing from work clothes and taking a quick shower.

nowadays it may be harder to change from street clothes (depending on where/how you work) and a shower right before bed may suffice.

as to the AM shower.. well if it was in the dead of winter and you shower right b4 bed, a good tidy up may suffice cause ie eena de mawning??

<span style="font-style: italic">disclaimer: just thinking why this could happen out loud. </span> </div></div>

You've got a point there. My kids always change their clothes and shower before dinner and they still do that, though grownups now.

My daughter (M) is a stickler though and might at times go overboard. She feels that if she does not shower straight after entering the house, she will introduce the toxins from the subway, bus and work into her sacred space.

She's only been with him for a short time, so I don't know if he only refuses to shower in the mornings in the winter. But, then again, it is warm now and he isn't so that answers that. LOL

I don't know but I would be dead on my feet at work, if I don't wake up with a nice morning shower.

**kia027** · 06-06-2008, 05:43 PM

Re: My daughter's boyfriend

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RunGwaan</div><div class="ubbcode-body">That is my rule as well, but it is across the board family, friend, or foe, and I think that is why my daughter is so squeamish.

You are so right, and I have told her that he is who he is, and won't change, but because she made headway with him washing his hands, she thinks she can change the other "habits".

I don't get it though. How do these people not feel dirty? I have employees who's wear the same clothes to work at least 3 times for the week. You can tell when they haven't been in the shower, because their hairs look limp and dirty and the look completely lethargic. </div></div>

I think she can change the other shower habits -- lots of positive reinforcement (I like it when you are clean on the sheets and in the AM, lets' see who can shower the fastest.)

I dont feel 'fresh'unless I shower in the AM so I will shower after the gym in the AM and before bed at night.

**kia027** · 06-06-2008, 05:45 PM

Re: My daughter's boyfriend

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">She feels that if she does not shower straight after entering the house, she will introduce the toxins from the subway, bus and work into her sacred space</div></div>

If I took Mass Transit I would too

**Fyah** · 06-06-2008, 05:46 PM

Re: My daughter's boyfriend

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">might be a european thing? I used to work with some people from europe who used to wear the same thing in the same week and these people lived in the same city where they worked so it wasnt a travel thing.

however one manager I had only had 1 pr a jeans he used to wash it at night & wear it the next day </div></div>

LOL. My italian friend always comments on black people, their "obsession" with clothes and how they never wear the same thing twice. LOL

She makes no bones about the fact that she has ONE coat, 1 pair of black dress pants, two pairs of jeans and like 3 skirts. She has two handbags. I am always amazed at that, and she doesn't even own property?

I just can't conceive it.

**Fyah** · 06-06-2008, 05:48 PM

Re: My daughter's boyfriend

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I think she can change the other shower habits -- lots of positive reinforcement (I like it when you are clean on the sheets and in the AM, lets' see who can shower the fastest.)

I dont feel 'fresh'unless I shower in the AM so I will shower after the gym in the AM and before bed at night. </div></div>

**kia027** · 06-06-2008, 05:49 PM

Re: My daughter's boyfriend

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RunGwaan</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">might be a european thing? I used to work with some people from europe who used to wear the same thing in the same week and these people lived in the same city where they worked so it wasnt a travel thing.

however one manager I had only had 1 pr a jeans he used to wash it at night & wear it the next day </div></div>

LOL. My italian friend always comments on black people, their "obsession" with clothes and how they never wear the same thing twice. LOL

She makes no bones about the fact that she has ONE coat, 1 pair of black dress pants, two pairs of jeans and like 3 skirts. She has two handbags. I am always amazed at that, and she doesn't even own property?

I just can't conceive it. </div></div>

at least I can say the guy did own a few prime properties and he is a very very smart man (and a geek) so I attributed it to his geekness but at least he was clean.

I dont think there is anything wrong with a small wardrobe that is very fashionable (ie very few & very fashionable pieces that change with the seasons) but if a year round she a sport dat den

**Boopie2** · 06-06-2008, 11:08 PM

Re: My daughter's boyfriend

That's nasty, no way would I touch or be bothered with him. If she fighting with him now, just imagine if she married him and he refused to take a bath for a while. Being clean should come natural, why the big fighting? Don't blame it on being young blame it one being nasty and disgusting.

Tell her to run as fast as she can

**Boopie2** · 06-06-2008, 11:20 PM

Re: My daughter's boyfriend

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RunGwaan</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I dont think is less concerned about the hands thing

the changing of clothes may have come from our days of wearing uniforms to school and changing out of them.. as adults we carried said habit to changing from work clothes and taking a quick shower.

nowadays it may be harder to change from street clothes (depending on where/how you work) and a shower right before bed may suffice.

as to the AM shower.. well if it was in the dead of winter and you shower right b4 bed, a good tidy up may suffice cause ie eena de mawning??

<span style="font-style: italic">disclaimer: just thinking why this could happen out loud. </span> </div></div>

You've got a point there. My kids always change their clothes and shower before dinner and they still do that, though grownups now.

My daughter (M) is a stickler though and might at times go overboard. She feels that if she does not shower straight after entering the house, she will introduce the toxins from the subway, bus and work into her sacred space.

She's only been with him for a short time, so I don't know if he only refuses to shower in the mornings in the winter. But, then again, it is warm now and he isn't so that answers that. LOL

I don't know but I would be dead on my feet at work, if I don't wake up with a nice morning shower. </div></div>

Lord, maybe it's me I could take a shower at the drop of a hat, I have a thing for smelling nice all the time. Tell her she can't change anybody, it may backfire on her if he thinks she's trying to rule him. My tummy is very sensitive to nasty smells too makes me want to vomit.

**Fyah** · 06-07-2008, 10:01 AM

Re: My daughter's boyfriend

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RunGwaan</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I dont think is less concerned about the hands thing

the changing of clothes may have come from our days of wearing uniforms to school and changing out of them.. as adults we carried said habit to changing from work clothes and taking a quick shower.

nowadays it may be harder to change from street clothes (depending on where/how you work) and a shower right before bed may suffice.

as to the AM shower.. well if it was in the dead of winter and you shower right b4 bed, a good tidy up may suffice cause ie eena de mawning??

<span style="font-style: italic">disclaimer: just thinking why this could happen out loud. </span> </div></div>

You've got a point there. My kids always change their clothes and shower before dinner and they still do that, though grownups now.

My daughter (M) is a stickler though and might at times go overboard. She feels that if she does not shower straight after entering the house, she will introduce the toxins from the subway, bus and work into her sacred space.

She's only been with him for a short time, so I don't know if he only refuses to shower in the mornings in the winter. But, then again, it is warm now and he isn't so that answers that. LOL

I don't know but I would be dead on my feet at work, if I don't wake up with a nice morning shower. </div></div>

Lord, maybe it's me I could take a shower at the drop of a hat, I have a thing for smelling nice all the time. Tell her she can't change anybody, it may backfire on her if he thinks she's trying to rule him. My tummy is very sensitive to nasty smells too makes me want to vomit. </div></div>

Me and you both. My daughter is the exact same. She gets physically sick about these things, so I can't imagine her sticking with him for too long.

**KgnJa69** · 06-07-2008, 10:26 AM

Re: My daughter's boyfriend

Sounds like yu daughta ought to consider a serious talk with her young man... or maybe play the game of both of them writing down things they like/dislike about each other, then discuss them. Seems like he is not taking her too serious. I'm willing to bet that after she complains, she is all over him (or allow him to be over her) without him correcting the 'complaint'. This could be very confusing to a man.

On the other hand, your daughta appears to be a little 'controlling'. If it's not his cleanliness, I gurantee you it will be his shoes in the wrong place, the toilet seat, hair in the sink, shirt on the couch, beer bottle(s) on top of the TV, how he squeeze the tooth paste tube, which TV channel he watches, how he sleeps, where he passes gas (does he shake the covers over her ) and so on.

In your mother/ daughta conversations, keep encouraging her to accept others for who they are or leave them alone, but never try to CHANGE a man. That's hopeless!

That's just my two cents, since mi notice seh a pure ooooman innyah a talk bout shouring multiple time a day like dem a wrotten... wi noh have dem bodily issues deh

My daughter's boyfriend

My daughter's boyfriend

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