Family Responsibility!

[DearK]

At the time of a funeral! We've probably all been in a situation where a gathering/event like this causes some good old family drama to emerge. So here's one situation, and I'm sure you guys have others to add as well.

There are 3 middle age siblings whose father has just passed away. The oldest child, Charles migrated late to the US and is just starting to get grounded in the system. The middle child, Faith, has 2 young children of her own, but she married well and so is a stay at home mom. The third child, Hope has been in US for some time, but she works hard, and financially is 'just making it'.

While dad spent his last weeks in the hospital, Faith was at his side day in and day out (she doesnt work) while her kids were in school, and evenings after rushing to pick up kids and set them up at home with the nanny and hubby, before returning to dad's side. Hope tried to get there as well, but certainly didnt put in the hours that Faith did. Charles came 2 or 3 times per week.

So dad finally gets to have a permanent rest and this is when the drama blooms. Prior to his passing there was much debate about when to 'pull the plug', with no firm decision being made, as accusations were launched against each other, putting them in a stalemate situation while dad teetered on the edge. Eventually, he succumbed to his illness and old age.

The real bitterness now surrounded what share each should have in funeral expenses. Ultimately the decision was a 3 way split, but as they got closer to burial, angry words were exchanged about who ws better able to sustain the financial burden. In the end Faith bore most of the cost (she's married to an almost millionaire).

After the funeral, with no will in place, allocation of dad;s remaining assets in Jamaica was the next point of anger. Should Faith, being well off (through marriage) inherit a good part, lesser part or equal part of the assets? Since she was primary caretaker of dad before and at the time of his illness, she feels entitled to a good share of dad's legacy. Hope was always dad's favorite and feels he would have wanted her to have the land in Jamaica, and although she's doing ok, she wants a good part of dad's legacy. Charles being the only male, and the one 'struggling' the most (having just arrived) feels he needs the most help and wants a good part of dad's legacy. A good share is not a 3 way split in any of their minds

The matter is still on-going, but weigh in on how you think it should go (and any similar situation)....

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: Family Responsibility!

The only fair thing is a 3 way split no matter how they feel.


My ex's dad had 4 kids....sort of.

2 My Ex and his sister were his biologially, one he raised and one was a "claim seh"

let me assign names....Ex = Fred, sister = Franny, raised one BV and Claim seh = Mary

So pops lived in the same town as Mary and BV but the only one that kept in close contact with his was BV ..but BV had an accident and a propane tank blew up in his face.

When pops died BV was locked up in the psych ward so count him out.
Mary had just won BIG at the casino, Franny lived 13 hours away and fred was 3 hours away.

Fred paid for the plot, the headstone, the funeral home and the service. He felt that Mary and Franny should chip in for the reception/wake and the engraving on the the stone.

Nuttin but cussin an bad blood ova di ting it was shameful. Ended up Fred, and fred madda (who has had nothing to do with pops since fred was 2 years old)paid for the rest

THEN Mary and Franny had the NERVE to wanna fight over the little that pops had left. Not money as he had none thank god but the stuff in the house.

Fred juss tok whatever pictures he was in a leff everything fi dem war over.

[Gen]

Re: Family Responsibility!

regardless of each child's financial situation NOW, the only equitable thing to do is a 3 way equal split.


the argument done right deh suh. nobody cares who each of them <span style="font-weight: bold">think</span> is the favourite or what not.

and if Faith want back the money she over spend pan the funeral, then the other 2 can pay har back when they are more financially secure in the future.


I know a chick weh har madda died, and I dont think she did give her stepfather's (who had died years ago) child any of what was left of the marital assets.

[skins]

Re: Family Responsibility!

The Responsibility was pops and he neglected it.
Doesn't matter what we think, pops had time to make a will
and did not. So his indecision becomes a decision.
The law will decide how his assets are devided.

I say a 3 way split.

[julie*mango]

Re: Family Responsibility!

3 way split!

I have had my own *drama* wid deceased and will writing of a may soon to be deceased dat mi really nuh care fi delve into.

[skins]

Re: Family Responsibility!

hope you are not the executor, big thankless job dat.