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Dear Pastor,I am 34 and an American male. I have had two Jamaican girlfriends at the same time. I love Jamaican women. They are good cooks, but they like money. The first Jamaican girlfriend I had used to take my money and put it in her bank account. I got to know some of her friends and one of them told me that is what she was doing. She had a child in Jamaica and she sent some of my money to Jamaica to support her son.
She used to do house work and come home every other weekend. And it was while she was away I got myself involved with her Jamaican friend. When my girlfriend was at work, she used to come over and keep my company. I got her pregnant, but she got rid of the pregnancy because she was married and was waiting on her husband to join her. I got to love her more than my girlfriend.
A few times while I was talking to my girlfriend, I made mistakes and called her name. She called her friend and asked her if we had become more than social friends. And she told my girlfriend that she should ask me and that gave me away. I had to lie, but now those two women are back as good friends and I do not have any of them.
I am now living with an American girl, but she is lazy. She doesn't cook. She wants fast food every day. She leaves the house without telling me where she is going. And she is fooling around drugs.
At present, I am out of a job, so I do the cleaning and the laundry while she is supporting me. And if I complain, she tells me I could leave. But, pastor, I can't leave because I don't have anywhere to go. My relatives do not want me where they are because of a very bad thing I did in the family. This girl tells me how much she loves me, but I can't stand the way I am living because I would like to be my own man. Presently, I am not. My girlfriend can go wherever she wants to go and do whatever she wants, and if I try she locks me out. What do you think about that?
T.E.
Dear T.E.,
Try your best to get yourself a job. I know it is difficult. Unemployment in America is very high. But at least you have a place to live and the young woman with whom you are living is giving you money and providing you with food. She doesn't like to cook but at least she doesn't allow you to go hungry. Yes, you are like a little boy in her house. You have to do what you have to do and be home at a reasonable time. She is boss.
You have gotten yourself mixed up. When you had your first Jamaican woman, you thought that she was robbing you. Her friend told you that she was sending your money to Jamaica to support her son. She was a good woman. At least she did not leave her son to be supported by her parents or other relatives.
When a man has an intimate relationship with a woman who has a child, he should expect that some of his money might go to support that child. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is wrong with that. You listened to the married woman who evidently had her eyes on you and you got messed up. I repeat, you have to get yourself a job.
In the meantime, be careful not to say anything negative to your bossy girlfriend with whom you are living. She might just throw you out in the streets. I hope you would discourage her from doing drugs. If she is caught, she might have to spend some time in prison.
She used to do house work and come home every other weekend. And it was while she was away I got myself involved with her Jamaican friend. When my girlfriend was at work, she used to come over and keep my company. I got her pregnant, but she got rid of the pregnancy because she was married and was waiting on her husband to join her. I got to love her more than my girlfriend.
A few times while I was talking to my girlfriend, I made mistakes and called her name. She called her friend and asked her if we had become more than social friends. And she told my girlfriend that she should ask me and that gave me away. I had to lie, but now those two women are back as good friends and I do not have any of them.
I am now living with an American girl, but she is lazy. She doesn't cook. She wants fast food every day. She leaves the house without telling me where she is going. And she is fooling around drugs.
At present, I am out of a job, so I do the cleaning and the laundry while she is supporting me. And if I complain, she tells me I could leave. But, pastor, I can't leave because I don't have anywhere to go. My relatives do not want me where they are because of a very bad thing I did in the family. This girl tells me how much she loves me, but I can't stand the way I am living because I would like to be my own man. Presently, I am not. My girlfriend can go wherever she wants to go and do whatever she wants, and if I try she locks me out. What do you think about that?
T.E.
Dear T.E.,
Try your best to get yourself a job. I know it is difficult. Unemployment in America is very high. But at least you have a place to live and the young woman with whom you are living is giving you money and providing you with food. She doesn't like to cook but at least she doesn't allow you to go hungry. Yes, you are like a little boy in her house. You have to do what you have to do and be home at a reasonable time. She is boss.
You have gotten yourself mixed up. When you had your first Jamaican woman, you thought that she was robbing you. Her friend told you that she was sending your money to Jamaica to support her son. She was a good woman. At least she did not leave her son to be supported by her parents or other relatives.
When a man has an intimate relationship with a woman who has a child, he should expect that some of his money might go to support that child. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is wrong with that. You listened to the married woman who evidently had her eyes on you and you got messed up. I repeat, you have to get yourself a job.
In the meantime, be careful not to say anything negative to your bossy girlfriend with whom you are living. She might just throw you out in the streets. I hope you would discourage her from doing drugs. If she is caught, she might have to spend some time in prison.
