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Dear Pastor,
I am 26 and have been married for three years. I love my husband, but my husband and I are not getting along very well simply because he does things that I do not approve of. I have a son who is six who is not his. He treats him well. The boy is very obedient. He calls my husband daddy.
Pastor, one night, my husband and I were watching a movie and my husband became very horny and we started to fool around. Before I knew it, he was all over me and my panties were off and we started to have sex right there on the couch. My son was in his bedroom sleeping. I don't know what caused him to wake up but he woke up, and came out of his room and was watching us having sex. The worst part of it is that he saw me doing oral sex on my husband. I was so ashamed.
The following morning, I had to tell him that what he saw us doing is what married people do and that he shouldn't tell anybody about what he saw, but he told our neighbour's children what he saw and told them not to talk, and they spread it all over the neighbourhood. I beat him, but my husband told me I should not have beaten him because it was our fault.
Now, pastor, it happened again. This time, we were in our room and our son came into our bed and my husband and I began to have sex. We thought he was asleep, but he wasn't. My husband entered from behind and I was saying some words that a child should not hear and the child was able to repeat them.
Now, my husband is insisting that our room door should always be locked and that his room door also should be locked from the outside. I told him that I am not supporting that because something might happen to the boy and he has to come to see me. He said unless we decide to lock the doors, I must send the boy to stay with my parents. Don't you think my husband is unreasonable? I would like to hear your advice.
T.L
Dear T.L.,
You and your husband are very careless. I know that sometimes couples have sex in different areas of their home. Some even think that it is exciting to have sex on the veranda and watch people go by, but the people can't see them. I know a couple who climbed a tree and had sex in the tree. Some find it exciting to have sex on their lawn on a moonlight night. Yes, these couples are very crazy, so I suppose that no one should condemn you if both of you were seeking variety by having sex on the couch. However, both of you should have made sure that your child would not see you during the act.
The little child would indeed talk to his friends about what he saw. He is not old enough to keep that kind of event a secret. And it's unfortunate that you spanked him. If anybody needed a beating, it would be your husband and you for being careless.
You have not taught your child to remain in his room. It is not unusual for children to sleep with mom and dad occasionally. Even some teenage boys sleep with their mothers, and some mothers find it difficult to get these children out of their room when they feel that they need to sleep alone.
Tell me why your husband and you would know that your son is on the bed and at the same time make love. You have no good reason for doing so, and both of you should be ashamed of yourself.
I would not support locking your son's room from the outside. In fact, that would be wrong. What I would support is that your bedroom be kept locked and if your son needs you, he should knock. Cooperate with your husband. Both of you are at fault, but it is not necessary to send the boy to his grandparents. You don't have to go to university to learn how to behave when a child is present.
Pastor
I am 26 and have been married for three years. I love my husband, but my husband and I are not getting along very well simply because he does things that I do not approve of. I have a son who is six who is not his. He treats him well. The boy is very obedient. He calls my husband daddy.
Pastor, one night, my husband and I were watching a movie and my husband became very horny and we started to fool around. Before I knew it, he was all over me and my panties were off and we started to have sex right there on the couch. My son was in his bedroom sleeping. I don't know what caused him to wake up but he woke up, and came out of his room and was watching us having sex. The worst part of it is that he saw me doing oral sex on my husband. I was so ashamed.
The following morning, I had to tell him that what he saw us doing is what married people do and that he shouldn't tell anybody about what he saw, but he told our neighbour's children what he saw and told them not to talk, and they spread it all over the neighbourhood. I beat him, but my husband told me I should not have beaten him because it was our fault.
Now, pastor, it happened again. This time, we were in our room and our son came into our bed and my husband and I began to have sex. We thought he was asleep, but he wasn't. My husband entered from behind and I was saying some words that a child should not hear and the child was able to repeat them.
Now, my husband is insisting that our room door should always be locked and that his room door also should be locked from the outside. I told him that I am not supporting that because something might happen to the boy and he has to come to see me. He said unless we decide to lock the doors, I must send the boy to stay with my parents. Don't you think my husband is unreasonable? I would like to hear your advice.
T.L
Dear T.L.,
You and your husband are very careless. I know that sometimes couples have sex in different areas of their home. Some even think that it is exciting to have sex on the veranda and watch people go by, but the people can't see them. I know a couple who climbed a tree and had sex in the tree. Some find it exciting to have sex on their lawn on a moonlight night. Yes, these couples are very crazy, so I suppose that no one should condemn you if both of you were seeking variety by having sex on the couch. However, both of you should have made sure that your child would not see you during the act.
The little child would indeed talk to his friends about what he saw. He is not old enough to keep that kind of event a secret. And it's unfortunate that you spanked him. If anybody needed a beating, it would be your husband and you for being careless.
You have not taught your child to remain in his room. It is not unusual for children to sleep with mom and dad occasionally. Even some teenage boys sleep with their mothers, and some mothers find it difficult to get these children out of their room when they feel that they need to sleep alone.
Tell me why your husband and you would know that your son is on the bed and at the same time make love. You have no good reason for doing so, and both of you should be ashamed of yourself.
I would not support locking your son's room from the outside. In fact, that would be wrong. What I would support is that your bedroom be kept locked and if your son needs you, he should knock. Cooperate with your husband. Both of you are at fault, but it is not necessary to send the boy to his grandparents. You don't have to go to university to learn how to behave when a child is present.
Pastor
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