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Personality
Ah yes, good one. Personality. A woman with personality. Who could possibly object? I mean, at the end of the day, women are people, aren't they? Aren't they? So why shouldn't they have a personality? We can allow them that, I think. But not to be confused with "sense of humour".
2.Sense of Humour
Excellent spot. We men like a good laugh. And we don't even mind if it's a woman who's cracking the jokes. Yup, we're that broad-minded. Just so long as our girlfriends laugh at all our jokes. Especially the ones they've heard 100 times before.
3.Honesty
Very important. When a man asks his other half what time will dinner be on the table, he wants an honest answer. Say 8pm when you mean 8.30pm and there could be hell to pay. And when he asks, "Did the earth move for you, darling?" complete candour is required. "Yes" is the word you're looking for.
4.Someone Easy-Going Who Doesn't Obsess With Her Body
Obsessive behaviour: not good. Go easy, darling. Relax a bit. There, that's better.
5.Intelligence
Quite a finding, eh? Never let it be said that we men are only interested in women's bodies. We want their brains too! Can you believe it? The brighter the better! When a man sits down to watch University Challenge he wants someone he can test himself against on the sofa next to him. That's you, sweetheart.
6.Feminity [sic], Kindness, Being Lovely, Charming, Being Able to Cope with her Beauty (Some Women Can't)
There's quite a lot to unscramble here. But I think that the most important point to make is that this is a man who is so caught up in his dream woman that he has quite forgotten to use the spell check. Disastrous. But that's dream women for you. Don't be too unattainable, OK? Everyday loveliness will more than suffice. You can cope with that, can't you?
7.One with a Non-Pretentious Smile but with Fire in her Eyes
You women are going to have to practise this one in front of the mirror. Cut down on make-up time and it should still be possible to hit town on a Friday night with your facial features arranged in the required manner. Remember, no man will go near you if your smile isn't non-pretentious enough.
8.She Must be Somewhat Attractive, Athletic, Fun
I know what you're asking. You're asking, "How attractive is 'somewhat' attractive? It's a good question. But only you can really decide. Just make sure you're "somewhat" enough, OK? Then there's "athletic". The Olympic effect, I call it. Rebecca Adlington, Rebecca Romero, Nicole Cooke, you have a lot to answer for. We men now want girlfriends with gold-medal potential. There's London 2012 coming up, after all. The nation expects. Not too much to ask, is it?
9.Consistency
Most men support a football team. They like that team to be consistent. Seven unbeaten is good. One defeat in 12 is ok too. This is what the consistency thing is all about, and it's a term of high praise where men come from. Girlfriends who don't let in too many goals have a bright future. But if you've followed the rule about being athletic you shouldn't find it a problem.
10.Good hygiene, sincere
In short, do you scrub up nicely?
Ah yes, good one. Personality. A woman with personality. Who could possibly object? I mean, at the end of the day, women are people, aren't they? Aren't they? So why shouldn't they have a personality? We can allow them that, I think. But not to be confused with "sense of humour".
2.Sense of Humour
Excellent spot. We men like a good laugh. And we don't even mind if it's a woman who's cracking the jokes. Yup, we're that broad-minded. Just so long as our girlfriends laugh at all our jokes. Especially the ones they've heard 100 times before.
3.Honesty
Very important. When a man asks his other half what time will dinner be on the table, he wants an honest answer. Say 8pm when you mean 8.30pm and there could be hell to pay. And when he asks, "Did the earth move for you, darling?" complete candour is required. "Yes" is the word you're looking for.
4.Someone Easy-Going Who Doesn't Obsess With Her Body
Obsessive behaviour: not good. Go easy, darling. Relax a bit. There, that's better.
5.Intelligence
Quite a finding, eh? Never let it be said that we men are only interested in women's bodies. We want their brains too! Can you believe it? The brighter the better! When a man sits down to watch University Challenge he wants someone he can test himself against on the sofa next to him. That's you, sweetheart.
6.Feminity [sic], Kindness, Being Lovely, Charming, Being Able to Cope with her Beauty (Some Women Can't)
There's quite a lot to unscramble here. But I think that the most important point to make is that this is a man who is so caught up in his dream woman that he has quite forgotten to use the spell check. Disastrous. But that's dream women for you. Don't be too unattainable, OK? Everyday loveliness will more than suffice. You can cope with that, can't you?
7.One with a Non-Pretentious Smile but with Fire in her Eyes
You women are going to have to practise this one in front of the mirror. Cut down on make-up time and it should still be possible to hit town on a Friday night with your facial features arranged in the required manner. Remember, no man will go near you if your smile isn't non-pretentious enough.
8.She Must be Somewhat Attractive, Athletic, Fun
I know what you're asking. You're asking, "How attractive is 'somewhat' attractive? It's a good question. But only you can really decide. Just make sure you're "somewhat" enough, OK? Then there's "athletic". The Olympic effect, I call it. Rebecca Adlington, Rebecca Romero, Nicole Cooke, you have a lot to answer for. We men now want girlfriends with gold-medal potential. There's London 2012 coming up, after all. The nation expects. Not too much to ask, is it?
9.Consistency
Most men support a football team. They like that team to be consistent. Seven unbeaten is good. One defeat in 12 is ok too. This is what the consistency thing is all about, and it's a term of high praise where men come from. Girlfriends who don't let in too many goals have a bright future. But if you've followed the rule about being athletic you shouldn't find it a problem.
10.Good hygiene, sincere
In short, do you scrub up nicely?
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