What makes you stick around

[sistacaf]

Re: What makes you stick around

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">stick to the evil that you know rather than try something new </div></div>

hit the nail on the head with this one. i think this is true for most people. they get settle into the habits of their life with someone, pretty soon is years pass, and even if they realize they can't take it for whatever reason -- they're too afraid to go back out ini the world and start all over again, or too lazy to do all the stuff that would be necssary to break away - from the relationship itself, the home, the habits.... find new place to live, new everything, and most of all - do it alone. the fear of <span style="font-style: italic">that</span> drives everything else i think. IMHO most ppl would rather just keep the old comfortable habit, cause at least they know how to deal with that - rather than do the work it takes to create themself a new life, and be alone and uncertain. yes, the idea is that sooner or later a new way of life can be achieved, settled into, and even enjoyed, maybe more than the 'old' one. but ppl are too afraid to take the chance on being alone, and being unsure. so they stay where they are and don't make waves. which i agree, is a waste of precious time. life is short.

[LiteBlonde]

Re: What makes you stick around

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sistacaf</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">stick to the evil that you know rather than try something new </div></div>

hit the nail on the head with this one. i think this is true for most people. they get settle into the habits of their life with someone, pretty soon is years pass, and they too afraid to go back and start again, or too lazy to do all the stuff that would be necssary to break away - from the relationship itself, the home, the habits.... find new place to live, new everything, and most of all - on their own. the fear of that drives everything else i think. IMHO most ppl would rather just keep the old comfortable habit rather than do the work it takes to create themself a new life, and be to do so, on their own. yes, the idea is that sooner or later a new way of life can be achieved, settled into, and even enjoyed, maybe more than the 'old' one. but ppl are too afraid to take the chance. </div></div>

That has got to be one a the saddest way to live this life. Jeez, can you imagine, living with no hope, no dream, no vision? Just the same old, same old every everlasting day? That has got to be the slowest death route anybody can <span style="font-weight: bold">choose</span> to take on this journey called life.

[Nylah]

Re: What makes you stick around

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DotCom</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sistacaf</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">stick to the evil that you know rather than try something new </div></div>

hit the nail on the head with this one. i think this is true for most people. they get settle into the habits of their life with someone, pretty soon is years pass, and they too afraid to go back and start again, or too lazy to do all the stuff that would be necssary to break away - from the relationship itself, the home, the habits.... find new place to live, new everything, and most of all - on their own. the fear of that drives everything else i think. IMHO most ppl would rather just keep the old comfortable habit rather than do the work it takes to create themself a new life, and be to do so, on their own. yes, the idea is that sooner or later a new way of life can be achieved, settled into, and even enjoyed, maybe more than the 'old' one. but ppl are too afraid to take the chance. </div></div>

That has got to be one a the saddest way to live this life. Jeez, can you imagine, living with no hope, no dream, no vision? Just the same old, same old every everlasting day? That has got to be the slowest death route anybody can <span style="font-weight: bold">choose</span> to take on this journey called life. </div></div>

DotCom, that is EXACTLY the point I was getting at in the beginning of this thread. What a painful way to live yet many seem to choose it.

[Gen]

Re: What makes you stick around

painful slow death is an understatement can you imagine smaddy doing this

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DotCom</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sistacaf</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">stick to the evil that you know rather than try something new </div></div>

hit the nail on the head with this one. i think this is true for most people. they get settle into the habits of their life with someone, pretty soon is years pass, and they too afraid to go back and start again, or too lazy to do all the stuff that would be necssary to break away - from the relationship itself, the home, the habits.... find new place to live, new everything, and most of all - on their own. the fear of that drives everything else i think. IMHO most ppl would rather just keep the old comfortable habit rather than do the work it takes to create themself a new life, and be to do so, on their own. yes, the idea is that sooner or later a new way of life can be achieved, settled into, and even enjoyed, maybe more than the 'old' one. but ppl are too afraid to take the chance. </div></div>

That has got to be one a the saddest way to live this life. Jeez, can you imagine, living with no hope, no dream, no vision? Just the same old, same old every everlasting day? That has got to be the slowest death route anybody can <span style="font-weight: bold">choose</span> to take on this journey called life. </div></div>

[sistacaf]

Re: What makes you stick around

i know dotcom. i've been talking to a brick wall (i.e. a friend in this situation) for a couple YEARS now, on this topic. HATES the status quo (i.e. loveless relationship at home, sometimes antagonistic but mostly just nothing, going thru the motions. but they have lots of red tape - real estate, investments, vehicles, etc etc and ray ray) -- but they too damn chicken to try something new, and too lazy to deal with separating all the red tape. ok i understand that is kind of a mess and not easy to deal with, i give them that. but this is the rest of they whole life we talking about! isn't that worth it? this is a young person.... lots of living to do yet! but i guess they more afraid of doin the work, than they are of stifling themself where they are. they may not say it in so many words but i can see from their actions (or lack thereof), that they feel the status quo is at least a 'known quantity' and therefore less threatening, cause they know how to react to it from years of practice.

ppl like that have lost their life spark in my opinion. just resigned to misery. they would rather complain and vent, than have some cojones, get up offa they behind &amp; make a move to change their situation. it's a flickin waste as far as i'm concerned.

[Gen]

Re: What makes you stick around

the key words here are

&quot;life will pass you by&quot;

next ting yuh know yuh a 59 and yuh nuh do a ting

[Nylah]

Re: What makes you stick around



but enough ppl do Geneva. I am sure you can name ppl your know that shouldnt be married but yet still they stay!

Some coach it in the guise of &quot;it's best for the children&quot;, or they are afraid to be on their own like sistacaf pointed out. Bottom line fear drives many decisions to stay with someone that they should perhaps move on and they kill their souls nevertheless.

I do think ppl give up too quickly many times on marriages and relationships but you can still give up on a relationship but still remain in it because you dont want to deal with either fixing your issues or fear of being alone.

[sistacaf]

Re: What makes you stick around

i heard somewhere a long time ago, that there's only two things in life. ppl do things either out of love, or out of fear.

it made sense to me the minute i heard it, and it still does. when one examines a thing down to its root cause, that little 'catchphrase' is usually true

[Nylah]

Re: What makes you stick around


Yup, living lives of quiet desperation And then you are dead.

I hope I have someone around me that will knock me upside the head if it looks like I am getting to stuck from fear....and I hope I have the courage to listen.

[sistacaf]

Re: What makes you stick around

preZACKLY nylah. quiet desperation, indeed.

why u think so much a songs and movies and thing are about that subject? society teaches us to 'keep a stiff upper lip' , &quot;grin and bear it&quot;, &quot;don't rock the boat&quot; -- and on and on and on. and what's that Japanese proverb? something like 'the nail that sticks out gets beaten down' -- (?)

the person who looks a little deeper and sees the emperor has no clothes, is the one that gets scorned by all the other ppl who keep quiet and stick with the status quo like good little soldiers, even when their soul is slowly being squelched. the ppl who dare to break outta that small defined box and really LIVE, well, others can't stand it, for many reasons..... one of which IMO has to do with being just sick with fear, and jealousy that they don't have the courage to do so for themself.

but no worries sis, i have the dutchpot rightchere to go upside your head if yuh ever need a good cyber-clout

[Shine_Eye_Girl]

Re: What makes you stick around

buddy buddy buddy

[MarieK]

Re: What makes you stick around

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Skelly</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: applepie</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

the enemy you know what to expect from is better than the friend you don't? </div></div>

huh? </div></div>

stick to the evil that you know than try something new..........I guess </div></div>

I agree

even if the person is so obviously unhappy? I have seen some women walking around with the ring on their finger miserable and unhappy as hell that cannot be healthy. How do u wake up day in and day out looking at someone you are not getting 100% of what u need from.

How healthy is that home for kids or even for the two involved in the marriage.

My happiness counts I'd rather have a short new fun exciting experience than a long term stable but unhappy relationship.

But to each his own.........

Some things mi juss nah guh tolerate

[MarieK]

Re: What makes you stick around

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mary_Sunshine</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Yup, living lives of quiet desperation And then you are dead.

I hope I have someone around me that will knock me upside the head if it looks like I am getting to stuck from fear....and I hope I have the courage to listen. </div></div>

dyam rite

[applepie]

Re: What makes you stick around

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs_Marie</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Skelly</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: applepie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

the enemy you know what to expect from is better than the friend you don't? </div></div>

huh? </div></div>

stick to the evil that you know than try something new..........I guess </div></div>

I agree

even if the person is so obviously unhappy? I have seen some women walking around with the ring on their finger miserable and unhappy as hell that cannot be healthy. How do u wake up day in and day out looking at someone you are not getting 100% of what u need from.

How healthy is that home for kids or even for the two involved in the marriage.

My happiness counts I'd rather have a short new fun exciting experience than a long term stable but unhappy relationship.

But to each his own.........

Some things mi juss nah guh tolerate

The fear of being alone overrides everything rational....had a friend tell me one time half a man better than no man.........so it reach a point that I told her I did not want to hear anything that is not right between her and this man cause that is what she choose....deal wid it.

[julie*mango]

Re: What makes you stick around

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sistacaf</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">stick to the evil that you know rather than try something new </div></div>

hit the nail on the head with this one. i think this is true for most people. they get settle into the habits of their life with someone, pretty soon is years pass, and even if they realize they can't take it for whatever reason -- they're too afraid to go back out ini the world and start all over again, or too lazy to do all the stuff that would be necssary to break away - from the relationship itself, the home, the habits.... find new place to live, new everything, and most of all - do it alone. the fear of <span style="font-style: italic">that</span> drives everything else i think. IMHO most ppl would rather just keep the old comfortable habit, cause at least they know how to deal with that - rather than do the work it takes to create themself a new life, and be alone and uncertain. yes, the idea is that sooner or later a new way of life can be achieved, settled into, and even enjoyed, maybe more than the 'old' one. but ppl are too afraid to take the chance on being alone, and being unsure. so they stay where they are and don't make waves. which i agree, is a waste of precious time. life is short. </div></div>


me personally know seh mi will never fine another man who will put up with half mi ish and still love me for me at the end of the day... *sigh*