Holy Moly

[Fyah]

My husband and I went to dinner last night with a long time friend of ours. Mr. Sprintah has known Mark for over 25 years when he first moved here from his home country, and have grown together like brothers.

<span style="font-weight: bold">Note: Names change to protect the innocent.</span>

Mark got married and moved to Virgina a number of years ago, but we've been in touch with him, visiting for BBQ's and birthdays, christening etc.

He recently finalized his divorced and moved back East, while his ex-wife stayed in the South with their two sons (one 20 yrs old and partially handicapped). He has always been a supportive husband and father (old-fashioned) and shocked us both when he announced his separation. He said he loves his kids and wanted the best for them (stable family) which explained why he stayed married for as long as he did.

He is now planning to celebrate his 50th birthday in 3 weeks and invited us to come along to his new home upstate. We got on the subject of attendees and he said the will be a &quot;mixture&quot; of people.

Mr. Sprintah asked him to elaborate and he said well, my friends in the business (photography and production) and my &quot;partner&quot;.

We were both surprised as we did not realize that he had met someone new.

He said &quot;bring your daughters along as well, as I am sure they will have the opportunity to meet a diverse group of people&quot;. Mr. Sprintah, being the protective father, immediately said, &quot;What? Diverse group&quot;?&quot; Mark said, &quot;oh don't worry, most of them are gay, ha! ha! ha!&quot;

Mr. Sprintah gave him the look, which made him ask if he were homophobic. Mr. Sprintah replied, &quot;why would you ask me that?&quot; Mark became very defensive and said &quot;well most Jamaican men are, so it is a valid question&quot;.

Now these two have been friends for eons and I have witnessed similar heated exchange in the past, so was not paying much attention to the bantering back and forth, until he said that.

I told him that he was generalizing and should apologize for his statement as it was not fair for him to associate that behavior with Mr. S. as he has no evidence of him displaying homophobic tendencies.

He then started to talk about some business trip that they had been on back when they were both unmarried and the events that followed.

[kia027]

Re: Holy Moly

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">He then started to talk about some business trip that they had been on back when they were both unmarried and the events that followed</div></div>

finish the story nuh?
smoothie with lots of blueberries and acai

[Kurlie]

Re: Holy Moly

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">He then started to talk about some business trip that they had been on back when they were both unmarried and the events that followed</div></div>

finish the story nuh?
smoothie with lots of blueberries and acai </div></div>

move over Kia and gi mi likkle in a dah mug yah...

[LusciousJohnson]

Re: Holy Moly

mek mi siddung nex to unu wid mi cawfee

[Jazz]

Re: Holy Moly

MILO

[Gen]

Re: Holy Moly

ovaltine &amp; hardough bread

[Fyah]

Re: Holy Moly

I slowly turned and looked at Mr. S. for an explanation but all I got was a cheshire .



I said to him. &quot;just cut to the chase&quot;

He proceeded to explain (long and short) how &quot;back in the day&quot;, they went on this business trip where they were both approached by a group of &quot;young men&quot; who &quot;forced&quot; them to go to a &quot;strip club&quot;. When they arrived, they found that it was not actually what it was advertised to be and it was filled with &quot;men&quot;.

When they attempted to leave, one guy approached Mr. S. and asked him &quot;how big his mouth was&quot; to which he responded with a &quot;kick right in the man's mouth&quot;. A melee ensued and teeth and eyes got knocked.

Mr. S. apparently went out of his way to &quot;beat down&quot; this one guy and after they escaped, remarked that he &quot;should have killed that [censored word] just because...

[LusciousJohnson]

Re: Holy Moly

wow

[Fyah]

Re: Holy Moly

Mark, said that from that point forward, he's thought that &quot;just from the anger Mr. S. had in his heart for that homosexual man, that he was homophobic&quot;.

I tried to ignore the story and thought I would discuss it further with Mr. S. when I get home, but to his defense, told Mark that I did not believe that Mr. S. was homophobic and in fact, has had lots of discussions with him on that topic and that he has confirmed that to me.

Mr. S. sat there with his face looking like he'd just seen a duppy. I said, &quot;go ahead, tell him your thoughts on the subject, I don't want to talk for you.&quot;

He mumbled under his breath that he is not but have some issues with..., and that was where I turn to him as I was curious and afraid to hear what he was going to say next.

He said that &quot;they&quot; should not be fighting for the right to be married and blah, blah (similar stuff). I sighed and gave my point of view and followed with, who doesn't have hangups about these things? At least he is not homophobic.

Suddenly, Mark said. &quot;Mr. S. Are you lying to me? Are you telling the truth when you say that you are not homophobic?&quot; I looked at him like he was a mad man and said, &quot;what more do you want from him? He has already stated his case and&quot;...then Mr. S. looked at me as if to say Shut up woman!

[Fyah]

Re: Holy Moly

So I said no more.

Mark looked straight into his eyes and said, &quot;can I be completely honest with you? I am going to take the opportunity now to tell you that I believe you, now that you have said it to me but before now, I did not know what to think. I have heard my father, uncles, brothers and everyone many others inside and outside of my family say derogatory things about homosexuals, which is why I have never felt comfortable to tell you or my family that I have been with my partner for over 10 years and I am gay.&quot;

[Jazz]

Re: Holy Moly

Icould see that one coming

[Fyah]

Re: Holy Moly

You and me both.

Mr.S. changed colors and almost passed out from shock. His hand was shaking as he tried to appear calm.

He stuttered and sputtered and then asked to be excused from the table with a rapid exit outside.

Mark was devastated. He started talking and talking and talking about how many years he's been living a lie, and how he has tried so hard to appear &quot;normal&quot;. I asked him if he really wanted to use the word &quot;normal&quot; and he said, &quot;yes. Most gay people think that it is abnormal to be gay and so do I&quot;.

He talked until he became emotional. He talked about his life, his ex-wife and kids. How he wasn't suppose to have gotten married, but now, looking back, if he hadn't, he wouldn't have these two beautiful boys. He said that he's been living a lie all of his life and now that he will be turning 50, he doesn't want to live the rest of his life in &quot;darkness&quot;.

I asked him if he'd told anyone else and he said, &quot;no, but people are suspicious...including his sons&quot;. He said he will not tell his family unless they ask and his only regret is that he had not told his father, before he passed.

He then went out to speak with Mr. S.

[Jazz]

Re: Holy Moly

po ting

[loops]

Re: Holy Moly

did Mr S think it was catching?

the guy is the same person he's always been for the last ten years...so what's the rub?

[Fyah]

Re: Holy Moly

When they returned to the table, Mr. S. said, &quot;I am not going to lie to you, I am shocked. This is especially shocking because I have known you for so long and we have been through so much together and not once did I ever suspect that you've been carrying this weight and worse, not being able to share it with me. For that my brotha, I am sorry. You are my friend and you will always be my friend. I really appreciate that you chose to tell me and I just want you to know that nothing will change how I feel about you, although I can't tell you how long it will take for me to get over the shock, to be honest&quot;.

By then, it was hard for me to hold back the tears.

Mark said, &quot;that means the world to me brotha, I feel relieved because I have had to hide for so long, and wished for a day when I could openly tell you and no longer hide the real me from you. I love you brotha.

Mr. S. then said, tell me, you never had any feelings for me have you? I held my breath and thought, damn, that is bold.

Mark paused and then deliberately kept him waiting before he said, you are crazy man. What you take me for. You are definitely not my type. LOL

I just sighed and had to crack a smile when I saw the shame on Mr. S. face.