A friend in Need

[Nylah]

So, I had lunch last week with a colleague/good friend and did some girly stuff to get her mind of work and just give her a break from the stress she has been under with work.

Now, this morning I got an email from her that her doctor has put her on paid medical leave from her job for a least 6 weeks She made it thru her Audit but afterwards broke down crying and just couldnt pull it back together afterwards.

It broke my heart to read this and now I want to find a way to help out. I told her at lunch that anything that she can think of, I will do for her.

But since I know she stays like me, she will accept the offer in principal but will never ask for help

She is a single mom with two kids both over 11 years old. Her kids are self-sufficient, so not much to offer in that regard.

I thought to maybe make some meals for her but again, her kids are fussy like most. I could maybe do something standard like lasanga. I thought to also take her out to a spa or something like that but that seems so uninspired on my part.

Anyone have some other ideas that I could perhaps do to help her out. If you were in that position what kind of things could your family/friends do to make life easier for you?

[Ja. Jewel]

Re: A friend in Need

You have a very big heart ,,,,maybe if you would cook that lasagne and bring it over to her with a bottle of wine & spend the evening with her, talking about "tings", she would appreciate that....I know I would. I so miss talking with a good friend, over a bottle of wine, can't even tell you!

[trelawnysmall]

Re: A friend in Need

Funny Ja Jewel responding to this post, since she has been there for me so many times, when I needed a friend. She would listen, offer some suggestions and mostly I knew as I was wiggin out she was there for me. ((((((Cher))))))
I think when my friends are having a rough time, cooking for them and spending one on one time, is really a great thing to do. If her children are always at home, maybe you could suggest getting a sitter and taking her out for an evening, or afternoon. Lunch or dinner, a movie, that always helps. But mostly it's just knowing that someone is there for you. Someone rates you enough to stop their world and make you the focus of theirs for just a while.
Hugs are good,I'm big on hugs.

[Nylah]

Re: A friend in Need


Thanks Ja Jewel and TSmall

That's kinda what I was thinking - just different ways to be there for her that actually make a difference.
She is your classic "superwoman", so although it is hard to see her struggle like this, it is also not surprising. She is a really strong woman who takes care of everything and everyone around her, and now it is catching up.

I could send her kids over to their grandparents and then maybe have an evening of just chilling with her. Lots of wine is always good

But I dont want it to be a one time thing. She needs continued support otherwise her stress level wont go down and she will just be in the same place all over again.

I am gonna see if some other friends can maybe cook some other easy to make items and freeze them for her. At least feeding her kids and herself will be one less thing on her head.

It is funny, whenever something is wrong or something bad happens in a person's life, food is the first thing that comes to everyone's mind

[applepie]

Re: A friend in Need

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mary_Sunshine</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

It is funny, whenever something is wrong or something bad happens in a person's life, food is the first thing that comes to everyone's mind </div></div>

No man food bring people together almost every picture I have I am holding some plate of food, standing next to food or outside a food place .....sometimes getting someone away for their familiar enivronment is also good.........so you and some friends can on a different night just cook at each other place with her involve.

[Nylah]

Re: A friend in Need


yuh seet! My cure for everything is food too!

I just spoke to her and one of her friends that works with her has coordinated a &quot;take care of G&quot; schedule

which includes not only a food prep schedule, but also someone to help her kids with their homework She's got someone to look after her yard and the house cleaning too which is great. So, I called her friend who I dont know and asked to be put on the list!

This weekend, I am going to bake some stuff for the kids because she said they need school snacks, and I will do some dinner meals for the week.

I am going to schedule and girl's night out each week just to keep her connected to the world around her too. She is having a tought time accepting all this compassion and help but she is being a trooper and knows that she is well loved and really really deserves to rest. Her health is in danger if she doesnt

[Stormmey]

Re: A friend in Need

Nylah, maybe someone could go away with her for a weekend at the spa, get pampered so to speak. There is nothing more relaxing than being pampered for an entire weekend lifts the spirit.

[DearK]

Re: A friend in Need

((MAry Sunshine)) WHat a great gift from all the friends!! She must feel so loved and special knowing all the love and support she has!

Did the doctor also prescribe therapy for her? Seems that would be a great opportunity for her to learn to say no, and develop additional coping skills....

[Nylah]

Re: A friend in Need


Yes, the doctor I guess has suggested some therapy in a few weeks, but for right now he doesnt want her to make another decision other than which PJ's she is gonna wear each day! She is too sleep, exercise, and eat properly. Hence the schedule to take home maintenance off her plate.

Her job is incredibly stressful and demanding,and she works 60 hour weeks plus looks after her 2 kids She does additional volunteer work, so how this woman didnt burn out a long time ago is beyond me.

The sad thing is that the woman who had her position before my friend took it over, experienced the same thing. She left the position and retired from working altogether because she was so burned out from the position.

We talked about her needing boundaries and giving herself the right to say no she doesnt want to do something. She just feels that if something needs to be done, she can just do it herself. So, she is trying to relax a bit and just accept everyone's assistance; get her stress level down; and heal herself before she has a complete nervous breakdown.

She is this fantastic, wonderful woman and I said to her that it is a testament to how well you take care of your friends and family, because everyone has stepped up to the plate to return the favour. She should just shut up and enjoy the care!

But with that being said, I realized how important it is to pay attention to those around me and really notice what is going on with them. We can only take so much from those we love before they hit a breaking point