Sexual favours...

[Yvonne N.]

Know of a teen who is using her sexuality to make friends. The step-mom,dad and granny have all tried to woo her from this lifestyle by trying all manner of strategies but I heard yesterday, that while she had to taken a break because she was grounded, she's back on track again. Now that she's been placed in a different school it's almost as if she has whole new menu.

What can anyone do?

<span style="font-size: 8pt"><span style="font-style: italic">Looking at her, you'd never guess it</span>!</span>

[julie*mango]

Re: Sexual favours...

take her to one of those aids wards in the hospital...

[kia027]

Re: Sexual favours...

why doesnt the teen love herself? and treasure herself?

was she raped or abused at a younger age?? she is acting out for a reason

[applepie]

Re: Sexual favours...

Have they tried counseling/pschy?

[seldom]

Re: Sexual favours...

I noticed you said <span style="font-weight: bold">STEP-MOM</span>...


where is real mom?

how does she feel about the remarriage?

what was real mom like?

has any one asked her how SHE feels?

[Nylah]

Re: Sexual favours...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">why doesnt the teen love herself? and treasure herself?

was she raped or abused at a younger age?? she is acting out for a reason </div></div>

this is the first thing I thought of too

I dont know what strategies have to do with the approach if they have never tried to find out why she is acting out in that manner. Young girls who engage in that kind of self-destructive behaviour have a real reason for it, and her parents should be more sympathetic to the situation.....they need to dig deeper to find what hurt is inside her that would make her act out like that.

[SistahD]

Re: Sexual favours...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">why doesnt the teen love herself? and treasure herself?

was she raped or abused at a younger age?? she is acting out for a reason </div></div>

this is the first thing I thought of too

I dont know what strategies have to do with the approach if they have never tried to find out why she is acting out in that manner. Young girls who engage in that kind of self-destructive behaviour have a real reason for it, and her parents should be more sympathetic to the situation.....they need to dig deeper to find what hurt is inside her that would make her act out like that. </div></div>


Well said both (((Kia, Nylah)))

It could be many reasons causing her to reach out phyically, such as feeling 'unloved' unless she puts out, or could be something as simple as - peer pressure.

Do they have peer counsellng in her school? Might be a good place to start, that way she has an opportunity to relate to teens like her, who have likely faced similar problems.

[Yvonne N.]

Re: Sexual favours...

Mom is not in the pic at all.

The others are helping her to understand that regardless of the nature of a problem, she has to live above it rather than be conquered by it.

It's hard for her but they are trying to work through the situation with her. Just hoped that you all may have had some suggestions.

Thanks for your input anyway.

[ILP]

Re: Sexual favours...

just saw this....

coming from the perspective of a worker that sees this all the time (unfortunately)... may i suggest....

1. contacting an adult (maybe in her school) and let them in on the situation. unfortunately kids of a certain age all think their parental figures know nothing, but they will listen to a perfect &quot;stranger&quot; &lt;----that doesnt live with them.

2. creative outlets (ie. music, poetry, dancing, photography) usually works to get them to express feelings in a non-judgemental way.

3. prayer

4. ETA: get her to talk while she is doing something she enjoys. what i mean is that when i know something is on a particular teens' mind. i show up maybe on their job, at their game, i get them to show me how to do something, they usually find it cool that i let them take &quot;the lead&quot; and then they open up and spill what is on their mind, which usually includes behavior that i may not approve of. that way they can get off of their chest what is bothering them.

((((mrs_ahmidis)))

[Yvonne N.]

Re: Sexual favours...

You are right on point because someone has been listening and her step-Mom has had in her in one or two competitions.

But you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned <span style="text-decoration: underline">prayer.</span>

Thank you so much.

[DearK]

Re: Sexual favours...

Some very good suggestions here! In addition to prayer and all else, the teen needs to express herself- thru the creative/physical (non-sexual) outlets ILP suggested, but also verbally. It's great to have adults tell you of where they went wrong, or how the path the teen is on is going to lead to disease and doom, but her point of view needs to be heard as well.

Your last statement suggests that the adults are telling her to pull herself up by the bootstraps despite the hand she's been dealt. One can never measure a child's reaction to adversity, some kids will use pain and sadness to excel in the (outer) world, minimizing the pain and sadness. And some kids (especially girls) turn that pain inward to selfharming behaviour. So just telling a child to 'do good' might not be enough....

[Yvonne N.]

Re: Sexual favours...

She's allowed to express herself beacause they listen to her but I am not sure that she even recognizes why she engages in that kind of free-living.

She certainly cannot be given a green-light on the issue so they are going with the alternative which is to encourage her to review her options and uplift herself...and hope that she does.