Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

[Nunya]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
they would frown upon Barack because they would not be in love with him. i think we perhaps underestimate the power of love to bind people together through adversity. love is not something you decide to apply because you think the person can bring in money. love is what you feel despite that.

michelle, or any woman in a similar situation as hers, would have had a pick of nuff more suitable husbands, i'd think. men who were already successful, had less to strive for and prove than Barack. if position and success were all that mattered to her, she wouldn't have given Barack the time of day. but she decided to pick him and work with him because of love.
</div></div>

So insightful.

I guess, to borrow a phrase, 'what the world need is love'. But there's many a time when 'love is not enough'. And so <span style="text-decoration: underline">ambition</span> comes into play.

You can love a man inspite of what he drives, where he lives and what he does to earn (sic) a living.

But his 'inability' or 'unwillingness' to <span style="font-style: italic">move up</span> will eventually work your nerve, if you're honest, and will eventually kill the love.

So bottom line, though Michelle (or whomever) stayed with Barack (or whomever) despite his car, his home, his income, it was more than just 'love' that kept her there. She saw that he had 'potential' and 'ambition'.

Potential, ambition and love makes a powerful combination.

Love on its own is not enough.

[mountaingal]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
they would frown upon Barack because they would not be in love with him. i think we perhaps underestimate the power of love to bind people together through adversity. love is not something you decide to apply because you think the person can bring in money. love is what you feel despite that.

michelle, or any woman in a similar situation as hers, would have had a pick of nuff more suitable husbands, i'd think. men who were already successful, had less to strive for and prove than Barack. if position and success were all that mattered to her, she wouldn't have given Barack the time of day. but she decided to pick him and work with him because of love.
</div></div>

So insightful.

I guess, to borrow a phrase, 'what the world need is love'. But there's many a time when 'love is not enough'. And so <span style="text-decoration: underline">ambition</span> comes into play.

You can love a man inspite of what he drives, where he lives and what he does to earn (sic) a living.

But his 'inability' or 'unwillingness' to <span style="font-style: italic">move up</span> will eventually work your nerve, if you're honest, and will eventually kill the love.

So bottom line, though Michelle (or whomever) stayed with Barack (or whomever) despite his car, his home, his income, it was more than just 'love' that kept her there. She saw that he had 'potential' and 'ambition'.

Potential, ambition and love makes a powerful combination.

Love on its own is not enough. </div></div>
what is it that enables a woman to see a man's potential and his worth? what a man shows to one woman who rejects him is the same as what he shows a woman who accepts him. why the different reaction between the two kinds of women?

[julie*mango]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

oh when I was younger and could see the potential sure.. to do it at this stage of my life.. I am a bit beyond dat.

</div></div>

agreed....when a man reaches a certain age he should have accomplished something...

[Wendy]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

Ooohh Nunya and MGee interesting Comments.. Before mi get into what unu sey

B_P (((Hush))) .. Dem noh know what dem missing dawling honey peach pie ..<span style="font-style: italic">Lawd Poor ting </span>

Yes Yes Yes .. Mi know di condition of what unu both speak – ambition, love..connection.. all key I would admit. But let’s not forget that on the onset some women don’t even give a brother a chance to even show he is about something. Look at his nappy head, beat up cyar and – whoop! Talk to the hand!

Yes at a certain age you do expect a man to reach somewhere… but how do you know he is “there yet”. I guess we have to define “somewhere”. Example some will think that if a man is Grocery store Manager that’s not good enough but who is to say that is his peak. He may very well has his goals set higher but this is what he can offer for now and he is rejected by a woman who thinks his current status offers nothing she can live with.

Believe me I know where you all coming from ..Just throwing around thoughts here and there for conversation sake.

I like yuh last question Mgee. Would love to hear some insights on that

[Wendy]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

Interesting Story Nylah ..

BTW this thread could be easily twisted to reflect the other side : Lessons Learned from Barrack Obama for all those educated black men who seem to think there a no <span style="font-weight: bold">good black woman</span> who can be strong, drama free partner But that’s for aneda day and time

[mountaingal]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

Wendy - it occurs to me that the similarity between michelle and the woman who married nylah's friend is that both women already had their own success, they were self-actualized to some degree. so maybe because they were not <span style="font-weight: bold">dependent</span> on the man's success, they were 'free' to give their love with him a chance, and work with him towards his success.

[kia027]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Yes at a certain age you do expect a man to reach somewhere… but how do you know he is “there yet”. I guess we have to define “somewhere”. Example some will think that if a man is Grocery store Manager that’s not good enough but who is to say that is his peak. He may very well has his goals set higher but this is what he can offer for now and he is rejected by a woman who thinks his current status offers nothing she can live with.
</div></div>

You will know when you look at the full man , not by what his 'day' job is but what he does and who he chooses to interact with on his 'off' time. You will look at how he takes care of himself as well as others. You will look for his values. In Michelle's case it was clear money was not that important to her mate but the use of money for how it can help people to live better lives. That was the character of the man that drew her in.

[loops]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

ok...this is just me BUT

I've always been pretty content with the fact that my mate gets up in the morning and goes to work....brings home a regular paycheck.

i don't need him to be the king of the world...his worth to me...is not based on what he does for a job....or whether or not he's accomplished something beyond helping toward our mutual goals....which are to be warm and fed...and to take an occasional vacation.

as you can see...we're both underachievers.

[Wendy]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

MGee – In Nyla’s story the woman rejected him because he wasn’t “there yet” ..another woman reaped the benefit by sticking with him from what I understand .. But to your point whey does it take a women to have her own career or independence to be “'free' to give love a chance? Doesn’t the reverse happens in most cases – women who have their independence don’t give certain men a chance? They want the man to be her equal or else no way Jose?

[DearK]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
they would frown upon Barack because they would not be in love with him. i think we perhaps underestimate the power of love to bind people together through adversity. love is not something you decide to apply because you think the person can bring in money. love is what you feel despite that.

michelle, or any woman in a similar situation as hers, would have had a pick of nuff more suitable husbands, i'd think. men who were already successful, had less to strive for and prove than Barack. if position and success were all that mattered to her, she wouldn't have given Barack the time of day. but she decided to pick him and work with him because of love.
</div></div>

So insightful.

I guess, to borrow a phrase, 'what the world need is love'. But there's many a time when 'love is not enough'. And so <span style="text-decoration: underline">ambition</span> comes into play.

You can love a man inspite of what he drives, where he lives and what he does to earn (sic) a living.

But his 'inability' or 'unwillingness' to <span style="font-style: italic">move up</span> will eventually work your nerve, if you're honest, and will eventually kill the love.

So bottom line, though Michelle (or whomever) stayed with Barack (or whomever) despite his car, his home, his income, it was more than just 'love' that kept her there. She saw that he had 'potential' and 'ambition'.

Potential, ambition and love makes a powerful combination.

Love on its own is not enough. </div></div>

This is the thought I had in mind, and you said it so well. I dont know that 'love is not enough', but the person's potential and ambition influence love! His education, goals and dreams are part of who he is....

[QK13]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

So many young women don't even want to look beyond what a man can do for <span style="text-decoration: underline">her</span> NOW.

I hear them say he BETTER do this <span style="text-decoration: underline">for me</span>, he BETTER buy that <span style="text-decoration: underline">for me</span>... no mention of what a good, decent, hard working man he might be. No mention of what the future holds for them as a couple other than what he can do/provide for her.

Of course at my age, I'd be happy to find somebody who still does his own breathing. Working parts would be a bonus.

[Wendy]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Q.K</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So many young women don't even want to look beyond what a man can do for <span style="text-decoration: underline">her</span> NOW.

I hear them say he BETTER do this <span style="text-decoration: underline">for me</span>, he BETTER buy that <span style="text-decoration: underline">for me</span>... no mention of what a good, decent, hard working man he might be. No mention of what the future holds for them as a couple other than what he can do/provide for her.
</div></div>

[rufian]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendy</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If you have been paying attention to the Michele and Barack story it reminds me of some women I know in my life that could learn a lot from Michelle. You know those women who love “<span style="font-weight: bold">materially”</span> and “<span style="font-weight: bold">conditionally</span>”.


<ul style="list-style-type: disc">[*]
1. Michelle was approached by a young man with a funny First Name and a strange last name. She once said “who names their child Barack”. She took on his name anyway

2. Michelle dated Barack when he lived in a one bedroom apartment with no glitz nor glamour but she shared his cramped up space anyway

3. She met him with the 10 inch high nappy Afro and not looking so GQ but she Saw a beautiful man inside

4. He drove a car according to her that has a hole in the passenger side – she could see the sidewalk go by when driving. But she went along for the ride anyway

5. She stood by him a Harvard graduate who decided to help the poor and make little to NO money instead of making 6 figures on Wall Street.[/list]
Now with that said .. Look where she is now and how much they both have accomplished together. How many women you know would be understanding and patient enough to stand by Barack back then? Suppose you didn’t know how the story would end – would you have stuck with Barack back then?
</div></div>
me no agree with this viewpoint at all at all. I believe that she was looking at assets yes, her own and his own &quot;Education&quot;. So you cant say she believed in him even though he had nothing, he had a lot, even ambition. Nothing wrong wid looking for security in a partner, it is all about that.

mek me go kiss de next frog an see wa happen

[neutral]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendy</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If you have been paying attention to the Michele and Barack story it reminds me of some women I know in my life that could learn a lot from Michelle. You know those women who love “<span style="font-weight: bold">materially”</span> and “<span style="font-weight: bold">conditionally</span>”.


<ul style="list-style-type: disc">[*]
1. Michelle was approached by a young man with a funny First Name and a strange last name. She once said “who names their child Barack”. She took on his name anyway

2. Michelle dated Barack when he lived in a one bedroom apartment with no glitz nor glamour but she shared his cramped up space anyway

3. She met him with the 10 inch high nappy Afro and not looking so GQ but she Saw a beautiful man inside

4. He drove a car according to her that has a hole in the passenger side – she could see the sidewalk go by when driving. But she went along for the ride anyway

5. She stood by him a Harvard graduate who decided to help the poor and make little to NO money instead of making 6 figures on Wall Street.[/list]
Now with that said .. Look where she is now and how much they both have accomplished together. How many women you know would be understanding and patient enough to stand by Barack back then? Suppose you didn’t know how the story would end – would you have stuck with Barack back then?
</div></div>

And to flip the coin,(in view of our present equality)if a guy had met a woman with a funny name, a 10 inch high nappy afro, who lived in a one bed apartment and drove a car with a big hole in it.........she`d have to be a good cook and be really good in bed.

[loops]

Re: Moral of the story: The Lessons from Micelle Obama

what if she makes him laugh?