well now...dis one is a beaut

[evanovitch]

She told him she was okay with him playing the field, but now she's changed her mind. Can this relationship work?


Dear Dr. Gilda,
I have been in a non-monogamous relationship with a man I met at the end of my marriage. I have not been with other men, <span style="font-weight: bold">but he let me know from the start that he was with other women</span>. At the time, I didn't care because I was not ready to be in another relationship.

This weekend at his house I found another woman's clothes. I shut down immediately. He apologized and said he never tried to flaunt his other women. That is true; when we are together it is always about us.

I asked how many other women he was sleeping with and he said two. I asked how he ranked us in order from one to three. He said he didn't think of it in that way, and was offended that I asked.

I am having a hard time with this. I felt that we'd been getting so close during the past few months. We go away together and our children know each other.

Everyone says I should bail out now! <span style="font-weight: bold">I feel lied to</span>. He always told me he didn't want to be in a relationship because he has a bad heart ailment. He was married for 10 years and felt he wasted a lot of time with his ex, and that all relationships require work. I have always made myself accessible to him and now I feel so stupid!
— Ready for More

[kia027]

Re: well now...dis one is a beaut

Dear Ready for More

You were not lied to as you were aware from the beginning that you both had an open relationship. The predicament you are now facing is you have grown attached to him and desire an exclusive relationship and he does not. It is time to reevaluate what <span style="font-weight: bold">you </span>want from a relationship in addition to what you want from a relationship with him. Once you know that, have a conversation with him to see if his wants and your wants are the same, if not, pack up your clothes, get walking and leave.

DrKia

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: well now...dis one is a beaut

you know I just had a similar convo with a friend, people just don't listen....or dem use selective hearing, hear what they want to hear.,

[esp]

Re: well now...dis one is a beaut

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Diabolical_Tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">you know I just had a similar convo with a friend, people just don't listen....or dem use selective hearing, hear what they want to hear., </div></div>

aye sah...woman cyaan put demselves troo unnecessary worries sah.....is either or ither

[DearK]

Re: well now...dis one is a beaut

She wants to change the rules now. SHe may be ready for more, but is he? Do you think it would have made a difference if she'd said she isnt ready for a serious relationship, but she also doesn't want to be with a man who has multiple women?

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: well now...dis one is a beaut

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear K</div><div class="ubbcode-body">She wants to change the rules now. SHe may be ready for more, but is he? Do you think it would have made a difference if she'd said she isnt ready for a serious relationship, but she also doesn't want to be with a man who has multiple women? </div></div>The man made it clear at the start that he is not into monogamy, if she can't deal with that then he aint the man for her. Plain and simple.

At least he was open and honest about it.

I know people who go into an &quot;open relationship&quot; thinking they can handle it or planning on changing the rules...it can't work like that.

But mi sure if shi did have a boops pan di side sheeda fine wid it

[shazz]

Re: well now...dis one is a beaut

'what's good fe di goose?...'

Whatstoever him a do me dweet to....

[evanovitch]

Re: well now...dis one is a beaut

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: LipsieLee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">'what's good fe di goose?...'

Whatstoever him a do me dweet to.... </div></div>

dat is wat dem did agree pon but now she wan fi change di rules an a blame him

[chitowngirl]

Re: well now...dis one is a beaut

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: evanovitch</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> He always told me he didn't want to be in a relationship because he has a bad heart ailment. He was married for 10 years and felt he wasted a lot of time with his ex, and that all relationships require work.</div></div>
soh im nuh wan 'relationship' sayka di wuk (an fi im bad ticah), yet im carry chree ooman pon im happy stick

men gotta love em