When your friend call

[applepie]

and tell you that their spouse or significant other confess to an affair or got caught in one..........do you first off advice them to walk or try work it out? or it depends on the severity of the infarction?

[RichD]

Re: When your friend call

first ting i would ask dem is if dem ready to be out of the relationship

if dem sey yes den tell dem to walk ..if dem sey no den tell dem dem haffi work it out somehow.

[applepie]

Re: When your friend call

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RichD</div><div class="ubbcode-body">first ting i would ask dem is if dem ready to be out of the relationship

if dem sey yes den tell dem to walk ..if dem sey no den tell dem dem haffi work it out somehow. </div></div>

mek sense.......the cut just fresh so I am trying to console and listen.

[RichD]

Re: When your friend call

yuh si most time it come down to are they prepared to walk or not..if dem not prepared to walk den no matter what dem haffi work it out..and before you give any advice you have to mek sure you understand if dem ready to walk or not. Nuttin worse dan tellin dem dat if it was you yuh gone and dem in a postion dat dem dont want to (or feel they cant ) me dat move.

[Boopie2]

Re: When your friend call

Better to just listen, I have a friend who has been in the same mess fpr several years now.

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: When your friend call

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RichD</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yuh si most time it come down to are they prepared to walk or not..if dem not prepared to walk den no matter what dem haffi work it out..and before you give any advice you have to mek sure you understand if dem ready to walk or not. Nuttin worse dan tellin dem dat if it was you yuh gone and dem in a postion dat dem dont want to (or feel they cant ) me dat move. </div></div>

yu sound knowledgable

[RichD]

Re: When your friend call

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Diabolical_Tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RichD</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yuh si most time it come down to are they prepared to walk or not..if dem not prepared to walk den no matter what dem haffi work it out..and before you give any advice you have to mek sure you understand if dem ready to walk or not. Nuttin worse dan tellin dem dat if it was you yuh gone and dem in a postion dat dem dont want to (or feel they cant ) me dat move. </div></div>

yu sound knowledgable </div></div> nuh jus born last week yuh know

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: When your friend call

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RichD</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Diabolical_Tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RichD</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yuh si most time it come down to are they prepared to walk or not..if dem not prepared to walk den no matter what dem haffi work it out..and before you give any advice you have to mek sure you understand if dem ready to walk or not. Nuttin worse dan tellin dem dat if it was you yuh gone and dem in a postion dat dem dont want to (or feel they cant ) me dat move. </div></div>

yu sound knowledgable </div></div> nuh jus born last week yuh know </div></div> I forgot an because is almost xmas I shall for go the age related joke

[applepie]

Re: When your friend call

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Better to just listen, I have a friend who has been in the same mess fpr several years now. </div></div>

hear you on that.......guess she not prepared to walk.....she can handle what she dealing with

[applepie]

Re: When your friend call

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RichD</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yuh si most time it come down to are they prepared to walk or not..if dem not prepared to walk den no matter what dem haffi work it out..and before you give any advice you have to mek sure you understand if dem ready to walk or not. Nuttin worse dan tellin dem dat if it was you yuh gone and dem in a postion dat dem dont want to (or feel they cant ) me dat move. </div></div>

true word.

[dr. bones]

Re: When your friend call

Be supportive and listen. I wouldn't give any advice either way b/c sometimes they can sense the judgement in your voice even if you try to subdue it or don't even realize it's there.

She may say she hates him and wants to kick him out, but she may cool off and say she loves him and can't live w/o him, and then you are the bad guy for saying dump him.

[Emperah]

Re: When your friend call

tell dem fi run, not walk

[Q3210]

Re: When your friend call

Mek dem play Big Yute`s Hit The Road Jack....mi dont want to come back no more...no more....no more...hits the road Jack.

[Bandana]

Re: When your friend call

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: dahJahPawtTwo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">tell dem fi run, not walk </div></div>






I had 2 mutual friends and one was married. When their relationship started having trouble our other friend told her to leave her husband. Eventually she did. Years later when she realized that she still loved him it was our friend she blamed

I say give no opinion either way, be supportive, tell your friend you will stand by her no matter what she decides.

[trelawnysmall]

Re: When your friend call

My experience is giving advice in this situation is a no win either way. Listening is easy (sometimes) but either way if they leave and have regrets they blame you and if they get back together they both blame you for sticking your nose in their biz. If they don't leave and stay in a bad relationship, they blame you just the same since they are both so sick to begin with and they need someone to blame for the sh** not working the way they think it should. I would listen, for a minute or two until I couldn't stand it any longer, but advice, nah not from me. Been there done that. It nah wurk.