Friends after being in love

[Nylah]

Re: Friends after being in love

<span style="font-weight: bold">I still miss him as a friend. And when something big happens in my life today, he is the first one I want to share it with</span>

you see this is what I dont want to give up - but wonder if I need to suck it up and let it go

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: Friends after being in love

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">I still miss him as a friend. And when something big happens in my life today, he is the first one I want to share it with</span>

you see this is what I dont want to give up - but wonder if I need to suck it up and let it go </div></div>

Yes you have to give it up, unless you are willing to risk heartbreak again....

because as I see it, you loved them once on an intimate level and it makes it so easy to love them again as a friend. BUT you will hole them to a higher standard than you would &quot;just a friend&quot; you would hold them to the same standard as you would a best friend. That person who if you need them you expect them to drop everything and be there, same way you would . Yet it is not possible because most likely they have moved on and have other commitments and trust me, your girlfriends boyfriend will put up with those 2 am bawling phone calls but your Ex's girlfriend will not.

[Nylah]

Re: Friends after being in love


<span style="font-weight: bold">BUT you will hole them to a higher standard than you would &quot;just a friend&quot; you would hold them to the same standard as you would a best friend. That person who if you need them you expect them to drop everything and be there, same way you would .</span>

Therein lies the rub.

I explained that to them but they just cant see it. They expect the same level of reaction from me when I say, no way, we dont flex like that anymore. We need to redefine what it means as friends.

But the flip side, I miss sharing things in my life with him same way but I have no expectations of him dropping everything for me but he does have that of me.

I dont think I can do this friend business cause it is too messy and the boundaries get trampled every other day.

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: Friends after being in love

okay bottom line

the only reason why an ex want's to be that kind of &quot;best friend&quot; with an ex is because there are still feelings and hope that you will one day get back together .......

[Bizzy]

Re: Friends after being in love

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
ah. So it depends a little on who left who as to what is comfortable </div></div>
no. mi lef de 2 a dem so dat irrlevant.

[Bizzy]

Re: Friends after being in love

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Diabolical_Tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">okay bottom line

the only reason why an ex want's to be that kind of &quot;best friend&quot; with an ex is because there are still feelings and hope that you will one day get back together ....... </div></div>

[Nylah]

Re: Friends after being in love

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Bizi_Q</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Diabolical_Tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">okay bottom line

the only reason why an ex want's to be that kind of &quot;best friend&quot; with an ex is because there are still feelings and hope that you will one day get back together ....... </div></div> </div></div>

yeah, I have to agree too. He made his choice, so there is no going back when it suits him.

Gonna have to cut the ties that bind cause I want none of that anymore.

[seldom]

Re: Friends after being in love

NO. it's not possible for me. All or nothing.

who needs old memories resurging everytime you see somebody your in love with.

[julie*mango]

Re: Friends after being in love

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Say in love with a person - not just in like and dated for a while - and things dont work out in the end.


you think it is possible to friends? Not just say you are friends because u parted amicably, but honest friends? </div></div>


yes it is possible