Honey, how long before you make it?

[DearK]

So you’re in a relationship and have become accustomed to a certain lifestyle, when all of a sudden the downturn in the economy causes your significant other to lose his job!

Rather than succumb to depression, he decides to acknowledge fate’s wisdom and embarks on a lifelong dream- to start his own business. But the months drag on, and on and on….. It’s been ___ months and he just appears to be sitting at home (doing nothing?) building the website, and making a few networking connections per week.

How long should this period last? What could he be doing to make up for the fact that he is not bringing in an income? How do you stave off resentment? Anyone been in this situation before? (on either side).

[turtledude]

Re: Honey, how long before you make it?

What kind of business? I do know that something like 90% of all new businesses fail within a year(even in a good economy) because of a lack of capitalization to ride out the slow periods. I'd get a part time job for $8 an hour at least.

[ILP]

Re: Honey, how long before you make it?

well not in it, but always, "one account from" being in it.

i do a lot of running (a stress releaser), he does a lot of golf/putting, running, cycling, playing video games, restless sleeping, and spending time at the office.

when we do fight about it...its about him going back to school (to reinvent himself/sharpen/gain some new skills. he says he doesnt need it...i say it never hurts, as one never knows.

its easier to keep him...so this crazy gal sticks around.

[DearK]

Re: Honey, how long before you make it?

I have 3 couples in this situation, where the male is making a career change due to the economy, and there is palpable strain on the r/ships as a result.

One wife has complained that he needs to do something, <span style="text-decoration: underline">anything</span>, while he pursues a new uncertain venture. W that couple, he maintains that he's tried and cant find anything, so he'd rather concentrate efforts on building his own business.

ILP, maybe your mister isn;t interested in doing something different, as he might be able to continue at a different company (but stay in the same field).

[DearK]

Re: Honey, how long before you make it?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: turtledude</div><div class="ubbcode-body">What kind of business? I do know that something like 90% of all new businesses fail within a year(even in a good economy) because of a lack of capitalization to ride out the slow periods. I'd get a part time job for $8 an hour at least. </div></div>

That failure is part of the fear! Only one of the couples has children and that wife is particularly angry at her husband's unwillingness to take care of his family. He reminds her that he was the only earner part of the time she was in graduate school, and now he needs the same consideration as he builds this- which *he* feels has a lot of potential. The wife is not so sure... as they dip more and more into their savings, the tension is becoming unbearable.

[ILP]

Re: Honey, how long before you make it?

it is a catch 22.

does the wife have an &quot;outlet&quot; outside of her hubby (ie: friends, family) that she can talk to? sometimes hearing, &quot;Honey, be patient, give it a while, you'll see&quot; from someone else can go a long way.

[DearK]

Re: Honey, how long before you make it?

Wife with children doesnt speak with anyone else about it as she's embarassed- she'd always been the successful one, helping other family members and now that;s changed. Her social life is also affected due to tightening the budget. PArt of her problem is that isolation and excess energy spent 'guarding this terrible secret'.

[Gen]

Re: Honey, how long before you make it?

from what i have read

before the couple decides to embark on his/her dreams, they need to mutually agree on a timeframe, say 1 year, if no real progress is made in 1 year then he/she needs to go and seek other work to supplement the household income. this economy is not exactly conducive to someone &quot;chasing their dreams&quot;


if the individual is already knee deep into it then they still need to talk and re-evaluate the decision.

[chitowngirl]

Re: Honey, how long before you make it?

my cousin and her husband went through this (he lost his union job - she's an R.N. - they had 1 child at the time)

he's always been obsessed with the computer and spends hours playing Madden football so when he became unemployed he started building his website needless to say, my cousin WAS NOT HAPPY

anyway, she never did win the argument for him to work (any work) and, lucky for him, before the unemploymment ran out, he was actually contacted by another website (who he had been directing business to via his own website)

and now he's making GREAT MONEY from his website and forum

since then, they've had another child and he's become the &quot;stay at home and make an income dad&quot;

[ILP]

Re: Honey, how long before you make it?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear K</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Wife with children doesnt speak with anyone else about it as she's embarassed- she'd always been the successful one, helping other family members and now that;s changed. Her social life is also affected due to tightening the budget. PArt of her problem is that isolation and excess energy spent <span style="font-weight: bold">'guarding this terrible secret'</span>. </div></div>

what the secret? di getting let go or the staying at home to build the business?
what is so terrible about either?
even with a smaller wallet, she can enjoy a social life.
har phone bruk? she cyan meet har friends to go for a walk

she needs to get over herself. i mean, i understand being nervous about finances, but some of what you are saying seems a lot to do with her and not her hubby losing his job.