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No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
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Here's why:
As the saying goes… “Don’t kiss on the first date.” Being a Senior Life Mentor and in the Professional Matchmaking field for almost 20 years, I have always shared with my clients two important factors in the world of singles dating. Don’t kiss until at least the third date. “Don’t have sex at least until the 6th or 7th date,” depending on your comfort level and how much time you have had to get to know one another.
The Bible says wait until marriage.
The biggest mistakes people make in the modern world of dating in Toronto, is that they move too fast. Toronto is a fast paced city, and people want a quick fix and don’t want to put a lot of effort into this part of their lives. I have found over the years of being in the Professional Matchmaking industry, two key components that allow for a more successful connection. Firstly, when singles choose a potential partner that may not be in their local Toronto area. The other is they take the time to get to know one another before meeting; their bond is much greater and the relationship is stronger and longer lasting. “Why is that?” It allows two people to get to know one another first, without bringing in all those euphoric chemicals that hinder our decision-making process.
By getting to know a person first, you can find out if you are more of a compatible match. Then you can bring sex and intimacy into play, that bonds two people together, thus completing the mating process.
Also, the dopamine levels are not as high because they do not see one another in person first. That allows them not to base their outcome on attraction alone, but to make a more rational decision in choosing their mate.
“Love really is down to a chemical addiction between people,”scientists have found. That is why so many people have failed in relationships.
Research shows that certain animals are very similar to human beings where they appear to form monogamous relationships. The example they give is of Prairie Voles. Two hormones called oxytocin, and vasopressinare released when humans and prairie voles have sex. Mating between prairie voles is a tremendous 24-hour effort. After this, they bond for life. They prefer to spend time with each other, groom each other for hours on end and nest together. They avoid meeting other potential mates. The male becomes an aggressive guard of the female. And when their pups are born, they become affectionate and attentive parents.
As Larry Young, a researcher into social attachment at Emory University, in Atlanta, Georgia, explains, the brain has a reward system designed to make voles (and people and other animals) do what they ought to. Without it, they might forget to eat, drink and have sex — with disastrous results.
Dr Young and his colleagues suggest this idea in an article published last month in the Journal of Comparative Neurology.
Other approaches are also shedding light on the question. In 2000, Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki of University College, London, located the areas of the brain activated by romantic love. They took students who said they were madly in love, put them into a brain scanner, and looked at their patterns of brain activity.
The results were surprising. For a start, a relatively small area of the human brain is active in love, compared with that involved in, say, ordinary friendship. “It is fascinating to reflect”, the pair conclude, “that the face that launched a thousand ships should have done so through such a limited expanse of cortex.”The second surprise was that the brain areas active in love are different from the areas activated in other emotional states, such as fear and anger. Parts of the brain that are love-bitten include the one responsible for gut feelings, and the ones that generate the euphoria induced by drugs such as cocaine. So the brains of people deeply in love do not look like those of people experiencing strong emotions, but instead like those of people snorting coke. Love, in other words, uses the neural mechanisms that are activated during the process of addiction. “We are literally addicted to love,” Dr Young observes. Like the prairie voles.
It seems possible, then, that animals that form strong social bonds do so because of the location of their receptors for vasopressin and oxytocin.
Dr Young says that he and his colleagues have found a lot of variation in the vasopressin-receptor gene in humans. “We may be able to do things like look at their gene sequence, look at their promoter sequence, to genotype people and correlate that with their fidelity,” he muses.
If we do not connect on a mental level first, with a potential mate… The dopamine levels will blind us so dramatically that we are overwhelmed by the high, instead of making a rational decision in picking our right match. The higher the dopamine levels, the harder it is to fight the urge to want to have sex with that person you are dating and courting.
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I can only speak for myself, what others do is their business.Comment
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So speak for yourself. What is your opinion?Comment
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If the first date went well then a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
If the second date went well then a hug and a kiss on the lips.
If the third date goes well then a hug a kiss on the lips and an invitation to come in for a night cap with some passioinate kissing and body exploration (which may or may not include sex, depending on how things go).
If the fourth date goes well and no sex was had by the end of the third date then you can count on either making breakfast for her if you are at your place ior have her cook breakfast if we are at her place. (hungry from all the sex!)Comment
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:shamu: No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!If the third date goes well then a hug a kiss on the lips and an invitation to come in for a night cap with some passioinate kissing and body exploration (which may or may not include sex, depending on how things go).
If the fourth date goes well and no sex was had by the end of the third date then you can count on either making breakfast for her if you are at your place ior have her cook breakfast if we are at her place. (hungry from all the sex!)
This is moving much too fast. This is WAY too soon to even determine if she is a bunny boiler.
Men, men, men
did you learn NOTHING from FATAL ATTRACTION.
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