Aye sah...Dear Pastor

[diabolical_Tanya]

Dear Pastor,

I was with a Jamaican guy for a year. He cheated and lied throughout the relationship. I found this out when our relationship ended and he informed me of all his activities while we were together. We decided to become friends. I met another guy after him and now my ex calls me every day, claiming he is sorry and wants me back. I told him no, never.

Personal differences

The other guy and I broke up after a year because of personal differences such as his hygiene, different cultural background (he is Caucasian and I'm African-American) and ways of life. He wasn't ambitious and so forth.

Now, I miss the Caucasian guy a lot. Even though we had our differences, he was good to me. I keep thinking about him and have to refuse the urge to call him every night when I get home from work. But I know he isn't my soul mate and I am still young. My mom is racist and didn't like the Caucasian guy. Instead, she likes the other guy and wants me to take him back. I am absolutely not taking him back. My mother gets upset if the Caucasian guy calls me. I don't want to be disrespectful to her. He says he has changed. I'm not a fool and I don't want to live my life the way my mom wants me to.

Should I just tell her to leave me alone or what?

M. W., Ontario, Canada


Dear M. W.,

I suppose you have told your mother why you broke up with the Jamaican guy. The bottom line is you couldn't trust him. You have no proof that he has changed. You should tell your mother, straight up, that you will have nothing to do with this guy.


Clean him up

The white guy has a problem with his hygiene. So, you shouldn't want him either as your man. How are you going to clean him up and get him to understand that there are some things he must do? He is just a nasty guy. You shouldn't want this man back in your life either.


You did not tell me your age, but you seem to be young. Take your time. Don't run into relationships, you will get hurt. But, clearly these men are not your type.

Pastor

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: Aye sah...Dear Pastor

Hit-and-run love affair

Dear Pastor,
I'm a Jamaican living in London, England. I'm involved with a Jamaican man. He's married to a British woman. We were really good together until he separated from his wife. We moved in together and, after a year, everything went downhill. Now, I hate him, I hate him. I think he's back with his wife. We have a four-month-old baby.

Please, tell me what to do, and pray for me. Thank you.

K. D., London, England


Dear K. D.,

Insist that this man takes care of his child. When the relationship was a hit-and-run affair you enjoyed it with him. At least he used to visit you and then go home to his wife. You didn't have to tolerate him all the time. There was a time when both of you used to steal love on the side. He got you pregnant and both of you have a son. He couldn't deny that both of you were having an affair.


You detest him

Before you got pregnant for him everything was rosy. But now that you have got to truly know this man, you detest him. You believe that he is still having a relationship with his wife. Why shouldn't he? She is his wife and if she is willing to forgive him and take him back, it is likely that he would go because he is disappointed in you too. It's not a one-sided matter.


So, tell him you are fed up with the relationship because it is not what you had hoped for. If he is back with his wife, he should tell you the truth and both of you should go your separate ways.

Pastor

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: Aye sah...Dear Pastor

Babymother blues

Dear Pastor,
I have a problem. The problem I have is that I am in love with my child's father but he is living in Brooklyn with one of his other children's mother. He tells me that he does not love her and he wants both of us to get a house and live happily.

D. W., New York, USA


Dear D. W.,

I wonder what he is telling the woman with whom he is living in Brooklyn? I wonder if she knows about you? Don't always believe what men say. Insist that this man supports his child but don't put your confidence in him.

Pastor