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Feb. 14 can be a big day for marital cheaters
By Aisha Sultan
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
02/13/2009
A tender embrace in a park. A lingering kiss outside a restaurant. A gentle caress while parting.
Click, click.
And … busted!
"Valentine's Day is, of course, one of the biggest days of the year to catch cheaters," says Mike Barbieri, consulting director with PDI Investigations in Clayton.
Anyone with a little sumthin'-sumthin' on the side must walk a tightrope this weekend, trying to keep the lover's interest hot and the spouse's suspicions cold.
Since this Valentine's Day falls on a Saturday, there are bound to be some extramarital liaisons tonight, says Chris Rey, with the Aabott-Rey Detective Agency in south St. Louis County. He says he sees a spike in calls from concerned spouses and significant others around this Hallmark holiday. And some of the cheaters' excuses are as old as the Tenth Commandment. MORE METRO
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"There's always an important meeting," Rey said. The more clever cheats will start dropping hints about the "meeting" weeks beforehand.
And for suspicious spouses, Rey has this practical Valentine's advice: "This would be an appropriate time to have them under physical surveillance."
In fact, the philandering couple may have reservations tonight at your favorite restaurant.
Leon Bierbaum, owner of Chez Lion, a romantic French bistro in the Central West End, says the day before and the day after Valentine's tend to be very busy. But as for who is dining with whom?
"If I did ever notice anything, I would be discreet enough never to discuss it," he said.
In fact, waiters are trained never to casually mention the last time a regular patron has dined there — just in case.
<span style="font-weight: bold">For the resourceful cheaters already on guard, the Internet offers several websites on how to cheat without getting caught, with helpful tips such as giving your wife a spa package to celebrate the day. It will take her out of the house for several hours, freeing up time for another rendezvous. </span>On the flip side, the betrayed can get their revenge by publicly posting cheaters' names and pictures in virtual databases of whom not to date.
For do-it-yourself sleuths, there's a crop of high-tech gadgets designed to catch your partner red-handed.
Tyler Douthitt, a manager with Advance Security in Belleville, says that two of the most common spying devices it sells are phone conversation recorders and GPS trackers, which can be planted in a vehicle. The store also sells motion-activated, video surveillance equipment. The fake carbon monoxide detector is a popular option.
Others take advantage of spyware programs that record every keystroke on a computer. Software can be programmed to send an e-mail alert when certain keywords are typed. And, there are even UV-light sperm detector kits available, although Advance Securities does not stock those.
"We try to stay as classy as we can," Douthitt said.
Private investigator Barbieri says his company has vans rigged to record video that can be downloaded and streamed onto an office computer. That allows the aggrieved party to watch the encounter.
"We've had surveillance where the boyfriend or girlfriend checks into a cheap motel with someone for four or five hours," he said. "They're not playing checkers."
<span style="font-weight: bold">Credit card receipts are a common giveaway. With the explosion of text messaging, cell phone calls and e-mails, there's an even bigger trail. Shared home computers commonly betray the betrayer.</span>
"People can now communicate in ways they could not before, and all these things are places evidence is left behind," said Tim Flora, a private investigator who runs Mid-West Protective Services in Ellisville.
While the gadgets get even more sophisticated and high tech, the human blunders tend to be as clumsy as Bill Clinton's.
One of Rey's cases involved a man who ordered flowers for his paramour through a local florist. When the florist asked for the delivery address, the man gave his home address.
The flowers — and the card addressed to his mistress — were delivered to his wife.
By Aisha Sultan
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
02/13/2009
A tender embrace in a park. A lingering kiss outside a restaurant. A gentle caress while parting.
Click, click.
And … busted!
"Valentine's Day is, of course, one of the biggest days of the year to catch cheaters," says Mike Barbieri, consulting director with PDI Investigations in Clayton.
Anyone with a little sumthin'-sumthin' on the side must walk a tightrope this weekend, trying to keep the lover's interest hot and the spouse's suspicions cold.
Since this Valentine's Day falls on a Saturday, there are bound to be some extramarital liaisons tonight, says Chris Rey, with the Aabott-Rey Detective Agency in south St. Louis County. He says he sees a spike in calls from concerned spouses and significant others around this Hallmark holiday. And some of the cheaters' excuses are as old as the Tenth Commandment. MORE METRO
Get news, columns, photos and multimedia from the St. Louis area
"There's always an important meeting," Rey said. The more clever cheats will start dropping hints about the "meeting" weeks beforehand.
And for suspicious spouses, Rey has this practical Valentine's advice: "This would be an appropriate time to have them under physical surveillance."
In fact, the philandering couple may have reservations tonight at your favorite restaurant.
Leon Bierbaum, owner of Chez Lion, a romantic French bistro in the Central West End, says the day before and the day after Valentine's tend to be very busy. But as for who is dining with whom?
"If I did ever notice anything, I would be discreet enough never to discuss it," he said.
In fact, waiters are trained never to casually mention the last time a regular patron has dined there — just in case.
<span style="font-weight: bold">For the resourceful cheaters already on guard, the Internet offers several websites on how to cheat without getting caught, with helpful tips such as giving your wife a spa package to celebrate the day. It will take her out of the house for several hours, freeing up time for another rendezvous. </span>On the flip side, the betrayed can get their revenge by publicly posting cheaters' names and pictures in virtual databases of whom not to date.
For do-it-yourself sleuths, there's a crop of high-tech gadgets designed to catch your partner red-handed.
Tyler Douthitt, a manager with Advance Security in Belleville, says that two of the most common spying devices it sells are phone conversation recorders and GPS trackers, which can be planted in a vehicle. The store also sells motion-activated, video surveillance equipment. The fake carbon monoxide detector is a popular option.
Others take advantage of spyware programs that record every keystroke on a computer. Software can be programmed to send an e-mail alert when certain keywords are typed. And, there are even UV-light sperm detector kits available, although Advance Securities does not stock those.
"We try to stay as classy as we can," Douthitt said.
Private investigator Barbieri says his company has vans rigged to record video that can be downloaded and streamed onto an office computer. That allows the aggrieved party to watch the encounter.
"We've had surveillance where the boyfriend or girlfriend checks into a cheap motel with someone for four or five hours," he said. "They're not playing checkers."
<span style="font-weight: bold">Credit card receipts are a common giveaway. With the explosion of text messaging, cell phone calls and e-mails, there's an even bigger trail. Shared home computers commonly betray the betrayer.</span>
"People can now communicate in ways they could not before, and all these things are places evidence is left behind," said Tim Flora, a private investigator who runs Mid-West Protective Services in Ellisville.
While the gadgets get even more sophisticated and high tech, the human blunders tend to be as clumsy as Bill Clinton's.
One of Rey's cases involved a man who ordered flowers for his paramour through a local florist. When the florist asked for the delivery address, the man gave his home address.
The flowers — and the card addressed to his mistress — were delivered to his wife.
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