How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your

[britisha]

past?

Would you tell your mate that

[a] you've bin to jail, if you had

[b] that you had x number of sexual liaisons in your past? Men and women..

[c] that you are really adopted and don't know your parents?

[d] that your real name is not yours, you are incognito?

[e] that you had STD's in the past **ding ding..[actually you should for these secrets have a way of coming out, and with HIV it is the LAW !!]

[f] that you are wearing false teeth? [heard of a true story on this]

[g] your age..

[h] your health history eg mental illness?

[i] that you are hiding from the police?

[j] that you are only the 4th of four other spouses still alive and well ..still happening..

Notice I said "blab" your mouth...meaning it is most likely things that are embarrassing that one wishes to keep a secret..and not blab about fearing that it might harm the relationship...


I don't think it is the other persons business how many lovers you've had in the past, unless he/she is looking for a "virgin"

Now, there is NO other place imo in my book than the beauty parlour on a Saturday/barbershop *chukkle* to hear tales of what happened to who and when...even in the heat of the orgasmic climax secrets from the crypt rear their "head" and have led to the divorce court..

Sorry, I left out the rum bar, but then that might not be counted, since one could blame it on "Johnny Walker.." or the whites..

Honesty goes a far way, but I personally think many things are better left unsaid, until you and your spouse meet that chatty chatty fellow/girl that went to college with you say at a social gathering and they decide to spill the beans..okay you got the drift, how far should one go?

Do you have annie sekrits?

Fimmmi sekrit fi oonoh...This is my 2nd marriage, so my hussban knows that I was not a virgin when wi marrid, and as for odda things if they happin in mi life, like when mi did almos go a jail fi lick wan bwouy in self-defense...joke: mi noh think mi husban wuddah gi a rat's tail right now bout ie... married now ovah 20 years..


Mi ha some jokes fi gi oonoh bout spouses whey nain know bout spouses past..actually some a dem sad..so should we save the embarrassment dung di road and fess up? Mi noh tink soh...di spouse might dead before dem sekrits cum hout, but if he/she really loves you it SHOULDN'T MATTER...

[britisha]

Re: How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your

Having said all that, I've seen people who got really "cut up" over secrets that their spouse/mate never revealed, while he/she had already spilled their guts bout deres.

[LiteBlonde]

Re: How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your

My philosophy is <span style="font-weight: bold">ask me no questions, and I will tell you no lies. </span>

If me love the person, me can't think of anything in him PAST that would bother me at that level.

Me history does not define me. Me try not to be paralyzed by me history. What me do is take what me can from it that will help me to build a strong future. With that said, me seek out people who feel the same way about the past when selecting folks for my circle, cause we are about building and not breaking.

There are too many people who still hang out to the past, like a fetus to an umbilical cord. They really need to elevate.

[kia027]

Re: How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your

I guess I would have disclosed the following that were applicable to my mate before he &amp; I became spouses no? but ah guess a so mi stay


[a] you've bin to jail, if you had


[c] that you are really adopted and don't know your parents?

[d] that your real name is not yours, you are incognito?<span style="color: #FF0000">probably after the knot is tied</span>

[e] that you had STD's in the past **ding ding..[actually you should for these secrets have a way of coming out, and with HIV it is the LAW !!]

[f] that you are wearing false teeth? [heard of a true story on this] dwl

[g] your age.. verymad

[h] your health history eg mental illness?

[i] that you are hiding from the police?

[FrenchTickla]

Re: How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your

if a long term possibility alla dem tings haffi reveal. imagine run inna scott peterson and neva know seh two a him ooman turn up missing or dead?

[Nylah]

Re: How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your


talk them things


<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DotCom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My philosophy is <span style="font-weight: bold">ask me no questions, and I will tell you no lies. </span>

If me love the person, me can't think of anything in him PAST that would bother me at that level.

Me history does not define me. Me try not to be paralyzed by me history. What me do is take what me can from it that will help me to build a strong future. <span style="font-weight: bold">With that said, me seek out people who feel the same way about the past when selecting folks for my circle, cause we are about building and not breaking.</span>

There are too many people who still hang out to the past, like a fetus to an umbilical cord. They really need to elevate. </div></div>

[britisha]

Re: How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: FrenchTickla</div><div class="ubbcode-body">if a long term possibility alla dem tings haffi reveal. imagine run inna scott peterson and neva know seh two a him ooman turn up missing or dead? </div></div>

Glad that you mentioned this...tek that guy in Boston for example, the bride-to-be said that she would stand by him, for he is a nice guy...she didn't know that he had a torrid past, and couddah even kil her later as well...nuff others we see where the spouse saying &quot;Jane/John...is not like that, he/she will be exonerated&quot; Naat...the spouse was a big time criminal.

A murderer mi noh think would reveal his murderous past, but if seh, mi meet smaddie whey did innah di mob...mi wuddah waan fi know....hiff a even fi low mi fi wear bullet proof vest..

[britisha]

Re: How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DotCom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My philosophy is <span style="font-weight: bold">ask me no questions, and I will tell you no lies. </span>

If me love the person, me can't think of anything in him PAST that would bother me at that level.

Me history does not define me. Me try not to be paralyzed by me history. What me do is take what me can from it that will help me to build a strong future. With that said, me seek out people who feel the same way about the past when selecting folks for my circle, cause we are about building and not breaking.

There are too many people who still hang out to the past, like a fetus to an umbilical cord. They really need to elevate. </div></div>

**chukkle** easier said than done agen...but I applaud your spirit anyhow..

Someone in dis forum asked a question about spouses that might flip, on yuh..considering the prevalence of what is going on out dere...and I mentioned something about being able to &quot;disguise themselves&quot; until they consciously or unconsciously drop some clues...well this reminds me of that.


People can<span style="font-weight: bold"> PRETEND</span> that you and they are on the same page when it comes on to values, similarities/opinions etc...able to<span style="font-weight: bold"> skilfully disguise</span> their true self...going the whole nine yards, meeting their friends, relatives co-workers while still hiding a [dreadful] past until the phone rings one day when he/she is at work... Even trivial things for some men/women, like hiding that they have hommuch chirrens before they meet you...until someone leggoh di bombshell....and the man especially now haffie pay child support, and dip innahdi 'ouse money.. an pwoile yuh bizniz..not easy to stummuck.


It has happened repeatedly much to the disappointment of the mate involved and has gone as far as the courthouse when one files for divorce after hearing such news..

How many times yuh hear, shi leggoh di man aftah shi hear seh him haff hommuch baby moddas a haunt him fi money..

Another bombshell.. Women are now divorcing men who they later found out were GAY from day #!, like the Governor in New Jersey...that the wife claimed he is a liar..I tended to believe the wife, and after looking at him, I could see physical signs of one who COULD BE GAY...how shi didn't si it, mi no know.. but dat is another thread..someone lied agen..


Just read in a recent Sunday Gleaner where the man is seeking divorce because the wife likes it on the DL..and was cheating on him...how you gwine tuh know that yuh mate has preferences like these before yuh marry dem when those things didn't even exist before the marriage?


Dotcom, agree that some things should be let go...and move on...

...but some issues like chronic health issues IMO should be revealed...even if there is genuine love...[more reason why it should be...if the person cannot take you with your problems, then you are better off before you get too serious]..give the person a choice if they want to be bothered with the marriage...hommuch time yuh hear about spouses that divorce their mate when they learned that they have serious pre-existing illness that can even affect the sex life..so easier said than dun...plus whole heap a ppl out dere cheating rite now cozzaff dis very reason..

The sad thing is, sooner or later, in dem bad relationships,<span style="font-weight: bold"> [that is relationship built on deceit]</span> one spouse might have suspicion although the other spouse/mate skilfully did a chry fi hide the truth...and lo and behold the fears/suspicions were realised, they were later proven, when it too late..

As mi seh before, annuh everyting good fi eat good fi talk, but some cards should be laid on the table, just to save further heartache and problems dung di road..a soh mi seet....mussie choo mi noh ha nutt'n fi hide still..

Kia, I hear you..

[Andrewnaqi]

Re: How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your

Tell them everything, then you will know this person is really for you, into you and has your back if they stick around.

If they leave then they were about things around you and not the person you.

[britisha]

Re: How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Andrewnaqi</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Tell them everything, then you will know this person is really for you, into you and has your back if they stick around.

If they leave then they were about things around you and not the person you. </div></div>

So true; plus this will avoid the anxiety associated with &quot;what if he/she finds out?&quot;

So many ppl living a lie right now in their relationship they are even crippled by the fear that their SO might know the truth ...I see it a lot on mi jab where peeps bring their stories...it is sad]...and then some peeps stories are better off not being told for then, there would go the relationship.

[Stormmey]

Re: How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your

britisha!! you think I should really tell the boyfriend that am in the witness protection program and the plastic surgeon change me features what you think

[britisha]

Re: How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">britisha!! you think I should really tell the boyfriend that am in the witness protection program and the plastic surgeon change me features what you think </div></div>

I'm going to start charging a nominal fee for questions like these, for the simple reason that I will have to wear that &quot;thinking cap&quot; agen...

Actually they'd started a series here yrs. ago about a prisoner that had plastic surgery after she escaped from prison to disguise herself...dem cut di series shaawt...tuh much info they were giving fi teach ppl fi tun criminal...


anihoo, mebbie yuh should tel him, ongle but if yuh did huglie.. ...dis couple pan mi jab got married...the wife had a hook/aquiline nose that rival any bald eagle...well she had plastic surgery, and later married the guy who knew she did...

One day he brought pics of the kids [edit edit..} and showed us...well...all mi cuddah seh after he left was &quot;Mama's baby, Papa's maybe&quot;...dis girl whey mi chill wid ask mi wha mi mean..mi tel har seh di picknie dem have the same nose like dem Modda and leff it at that [she doesn't know di wife]... good thing he knew before about di plastic surgery for mi atel yuh shi udda haffie goh explain a whooo innnah har fambly did huglie soh..

If yuh nain huglie before, a wuddn't tell im a ting...some sekrits should be taken to di grave..and IMO dis is definitely wan of dem...annieboddie whey reveal dat is looking fi an early grave...now that was easy wasn't it?

Now faawk ovah di fee...

<span style="font-style: italic">Disclaimer: I took only a correspondence course, nevah bin to school even wan day in mi life; follow advice at your own risk...</span>

[Marielle]

Re: How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your

Lots of secrets....no telling, never

But then again, nothin serious....

I would definately want to know if a man had been in jail, or more importantly....<span style="font-weight: bold">WHAT FOR??!!</span>

[britisha]

Re: How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Marielle</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Lots of secrets....no telling, never

But then again, nothin serious....

I would definately want to know if a man had been in jail, or more importantly....<span style="font-weight: bold">WHAT FOR??!!</span> </div></div>

Maybe we should write a book with &quot;questions you MUST ask Matey, if you are planning to get really serious...&quot; if the mate cannot or refuse to answer then the bells should go off...

Then again, there is the background check that one can always do...hanless dem a use smaddie else name..(Nuff a dat a gwaan tuh)... only that there is none (background check) for STD's.. mi agguh check hiff dat can bi public rekard...wat a prekkeh....aldoa wid HIPPA mmi no think so

[Pepper]

Re: How much would you blab and tell your mate/spouse about your

If him ask, me wi tell him.

Me nuh have nutten dat me haffi legally tell anybody. So, ask what yuh want know. If you don't want to know, don't ask.