Is it just an assumption?

[Fyah]

My husband swears that women always assume that a man who has an affair is doing it only to gain sexual pleasure.

His argument is that there is a high number of men who cheats for peace and tranquility and wonders why most women automatically believe that every man who cheats is looking for sex. Although I feel that even if it is not for sex he is still <span style="font-weight: bold">cheating</span> on his family or spouse.

What are your thoughts on this?

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: Is it just an assumption?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SPOTS</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My husband swears that women always assume that a man who has an affair is doing it only to gain sexual pleasure.

His argument is that there is a high number of men who cheats for peace and tranquility and wonders why most women automatically believe that every man who cheats is looking for sex. Although I feel that even if it is not for sex he is still <span style="font-weight: bold">cheating</span> on his family or spouse.

What are your thoughts on this?

</div></div>

very interesting...the way I see it is it goes both ways. Sometimes a personmay cheat for &quot;the physical&quot; an it's all about the sex. But sometimes a person will cheat emotionally without there even being any physical contact. (no sex)

Personally I would be more hurt if my husband was to get involved in an emotional affair than if he were to go out and have a fling or 3.

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: Is it just an assumption?

seet deh, mi juss si di commercial for Monday's Dr Phil. When does friendship cross the line and become emotional infidelity.

[Fyah]

Re: Is it just an assumption?

That is the big question. When does it cross the line? There seem to be different answers to this question, depending on gender.

I asked a man at work this very question and his answer was that men do not have a line to cross because they do not emotional hangups.

[ILP]

Re: Is it just an assumption?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SPOTS</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My husband swears that women always assume that a man who has an affair is doing it only to gain sexual pleasure.

His argument is that there is a high number of men who cheats for peace and tranquility and wonders why most women automatically believe that every man who cheats is looking for sex. Although I feel that even if it is not for sex he is still <span style="font-weight: bold">cheating</span> on his family or spouse.

What are your thoughts on this? </div></div>

i agree that it isnt always about sex. sometimes it is about the emotional connection.

what gets under my skin is the deceit that usually occurs with cheating. step out if that what you feel inclined to to...just be open about it.

[Gen]

Re: Is it just an assumption?

apparently most men cheat because they don't feel appreciated/emotionally connected to their partner

<span style="font-style: italic">so said a survey done by the cheating men</span>

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SPOTS</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My husband swears that women always assume that a man who has an affair is doing it only to gain sexual pleasure.

His argument is that there is a high number of men who cheats for peace and tranquility and wonders why most women automatically believe that every man who cheats is looking for sex. Although I feel that even if it is not for sex he is still <span style="font-weight: bold">cheating</span> on his family or spouse.

What are your thoughts on this?

</div></div>

[dearjohn]

Re: Is it just an assumption?

As a movie once said: &quot;You want answers? You want answers? I want, the truth! <span style="font-weight: bold">YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!</span>&quot;.


Are women not only claiming that they can handle the truth?

Aren't spouses/mates really creating all these various levels of cheating, just to separate the other spouse from their good friends, who happen to be of the opposite sex?

[Phatty]

Re: Is it just an assumption?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DearJohn</div><div class="ubbcode-body">As a movie once said: &quot;You want answers? You want answers? I want, the truth! <span style="font-weight: bold">YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!</span>&quot;.


Are women not only claiming that they can handle the truth?

Aren't spouses/mates really creating all these various levels of cheating, just to separate the other spouse from their good friends, who happen to be of the opposite sex? </div></div>

Mi nah go lie mi cyaa handle di truth, suh yuh bettah hide ie well...cahm i nuh fraid fi yuh cutlass AhWOAH!

Suh if yuh cyan beat out and duukoh...come nuh!

[twiney]

Re: Is it just an assumption?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DearJohn</div><div class="ubbcode-body">As a movie once said: &quot;You want answers? You want answers? I want, the truth! <span style="font-weight: bold">YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!</span>&quot;.


Are women not only claiming that they can handle the truth?

Aren't spouses/mates really creating all these various levels of cheating, just to separate the other spouse from their good friends, who happen to be of the opposite sex? </div></div>

I may or may not be able to handle the truth so I would prefer not to find out cause mi no know if it wont hurt mi or send mi go prison. And I value my freedom dearly it would look bad fi the pickney lose on parent to death and the other in jail.

[britisha]

Re: Is it just an assumption?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SPOTS</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My husband swears that women always assume that a man who has an affair is doing it only to gain sexual pleasure.

His argument is that there is a high number of men who cheats for peace and tranquility and wonders why most women automatically believe that every man who cheats is looking for sex. Although I feel that even if it is not for sex he is still <span style="font-weight: bold">cheating</span> on his family or spouse.

What are your thoughts on this?

</div></div>

If they &quot;cheat&quot; for peace and tranquility, I wouldn't call that cheating. The &quot;cheater&quot; is just looking a listening ear.

I don't think it is cheating, per se, however the person doing it must watch dem moute and not take personal things about di marriage to the odda person, like sex and finance... afterall, seek a professional counselor if it gets to that....Many odda reasons, one main one being <span style="font-style: italic"> the odda spouse MOST LIKELY nat gwine like it</span>...if dem a talk bout tings pan di job, or non-married loife affairs, nuttt'n noh wrang wid dat.

Married peeps wi get ruffled <span style="font-weight: bold">if they are insecure in their marriage, to di extent whey if annieboddie fram di opposite sex calls to dem spouse, dem wi automatically tink seh a bed dem wan fi bed dem.</span>

Point being, man can haff ooman frends and wifey can haff man frens...as long as dem nat involved intimately, mi noh si nutt'n wrang wid ie...however, if dem a go bar goh jrink an discuss wha dem a discuss, mi uddah haff problem wid dat,, for smaddie might si dem, tink seh dem deh togedda, an the other spouse wi look like laughing stock...so...a counselor would be my best bet fi save any doubts.

..AND, even doah man/woman naah cheat fi sex, if the person whey a duh di listening, cool, dresses well, popular and charming, a real eye catcher, dem will want to be in that person's company, juss to feel and even look good...boost dem ego likkle bit; then dem go back home to dowdy woifey or husban. [mi hear an si dat all di woile]

[MarieK]

Re: Is it just an assumption?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Twiny</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DearJohn</div><div class="ubbcode-body">As a movie once said: &quot;You want answers? You want answers? I want, the truth! <span style="font-weight: bold">YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!</span>&quot;.


Are women not only claiming that they can handle the truth?

Aren't spouses/mates really creating all these various levels of cheating, just to separate the other spouse from their good friends, who happen to be of the opposite sex? </div></div>

I may or may not be able to handle the truth so I would prefer not to find out cause mi no know if it wont hurt mi or send mi go prison. And I value my freedom dearly it would look bad fi the pickney lose on parent to death and the other in jail. </div></div>

u wdnt want to know if your man is cheating . i 've always heard women say this but never have asked. Why wdnt u wanna know?

anyway back on topic, PEOPLE in general cheat for both physical and emotional reasons. the physical relationships are always easy to get rid of where a relationship heads for turmoil is when an emotional connection outside of the one the cheater is commit to is established.

Those are usually almost always impossible to break. but mi nuh undastan if u nuh have an emotional connection wid u wife/husban wah di hell unnu chat bout or dem juss nuh chat.


Teh greatest level of intimacy isn't found in between your legs its in between your ears ........ courtesy a mi granny

[MarieK]

Re: Is it just an assumption?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Diabolical_Tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">[quote=SPOTS]

Personally I would be more hurt if my husband was to get involved in an emotional affair than if he were to go out and have a fling or 3. </div></div>

i am not tolerating either for some women who can stand to forgive such indiscretions it's much less disastrous on a marriage if the external relationship is purely physical. if he has developed a strong emotional connection with the woman den juss divide di house an tek half di bank account and gwaan cause it's doomed.

[Fyah]

Re: Is it just an assumption?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Queen_of_d_A</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Diabolical_Tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">[quote=SPOTS]

Personally I would be more hurt if my husband was to get involved in an emotional affair than if he were to go out and have a fling or 3. </div></div>

i am not tolerating either for some women who can stand to forgive such indiscretions it's much less disastrous on a marriage if the external relationship is purely physical. if he has developed a strong emotional connection with the woman den juss divide di house an tek half di bank account and gwaan cause it's doomed. </div></div>

Exactly!