Pregnant for a pastor in training

[evanovitch]

Pregnant for a pastor in training
Dear Pastor,

I recently found out that I am pregnant for a pastor in training. The situation is so complicated. He is a 20-year-old student and I am a 27-year-old businesswoman living in the United States. We are not a couple and I expressed, prior to finding out that I was pregnant, that I did not want to pursue a relationship or friendship with him. My reason for feeling that way was because while we were both on vacation together, I found out that he was a womaniser and what I admired about him in the beginning no longer existed.

When I told him that I was pregnant, his reaction was the same as mine: one of shock, regret and anxiety. He wanted me to have an abortion. <span style="font-weight: bold">I am morally against having abortions</span>. After numerous arguments, he decided to dissociate himself completely from me and our unborn child. He said he had too much to lose and if anyone were to find out it would be the end of his career. He would be kicked out of school and forced to return to England. He also said that his future relationships would be damaged and his ministry aspirations would be absolutely tarnished. He said he would not and cannot be associated with this situation.


feelings of depression

I am now left feeling all alone. I have been literally dying from constant vomiting and feelings of depression. I have even had thoughts of suicide. After discussions with my mother and a close friend, they have convinced me to just go ahead with the abortion because, given the circumstances, I am not in a position to raise a child all by myself.

I now hate the father of the child because of the state he has left me in, especially considering the circumstances that surrounded the conception of the child. I have scheduled an appointment for next week but I am still second-guessing my decision. I do not know if I can go through with it. I have never been in a position such as this before.

I am so hurt by this situation; emotionally, spiritually and physically. Do you think that this is the best resolution to the situation? Am I just to abort the child? Should I resume life as if nothing happened?

J.P., New York, United States

Dear J.P.,

This young man and you are adults and you are seven years his senior. Surely you knew that it was unwise to have unprotected sex. Both of you are without excuse. Evidently he forgot what he is and whom he represents when he had sex with you. Now, he is scared to death that if you were to carry the pregnancy, and if you were to divulge who the father of the child is, he would be disciplined by his church and asked to leave the training institution.

I cannot encourage you to terminate the pregnancy because I do not believe in abortion on demand. I believe that if you were ill and your health in danger by carrying the pregnancy, that would be a different matter. But this young man and you had consensual sex so you should deal with the consequences thereafter.

Have the baby. If you do not want him/her, give him/her up for adoption.

Pastor

[evanovitch]

Re: Pregnant for a pastor in training

morally against abortion but not against having sex wid a stranger, unprotected...now aint dat a b...wonda wen she knew he was a parson to be?

[sistactry]

Re: Pregnant for a pastor in training

she a real ole eediat,

what the hell was she thinking, and me no inna dat dat man have baby, ooman have baby, she a de eediat, i do hope she either have an abortion or give up this child for adoption~

dem dyaam slackness yah always pisssss me off~~

[Stormmey]

Re: Pregnant for a pastor in training



me think that column in the Jamaica Newpaper Dear Pastor is a fake. Me thinks, that man writes that load of bull to keep his column going bout &quot;Dear Pastor&quot; him need a swift kick.

[Xavier]

Re: Pregnant for a pastor in training

It sounds like we will be hearing about this pastor and his women parishioners sometime in the future. Do you think she should let the school know?

[sistactry]

Re: Pregnant for a pastor in training

hell no, she fe tek har trifling baxside and go sit down,

she know say de man a look bout him business, if he and she both had a weak moment, ehhh tings happen, but no badda come wid no pickney and family, him neen a look dat, and she no look like she want no family neither, so what the hell~

sex = pleasure,

sex = family

there is two side to this adult consenting practice, put the ****t in perspective and dont mix de two~~

[Suesumba]

Re: Pregnant for a pastor in training

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Xavier</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Do you think she should let the school know? </div></div>

yes because he's operating on the premise that he has a higher moral authority than others. but yes, she's stupid.

[Boricua_papi]

Re: Pregnant for a pastor in training

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: evanovitch</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Pregnant for a pastor in training
Dear Pastor,

I recently found out that I am pregnant for a pastor in training. The situation is so complicated. He is a 20-year-old student and I am a 27-year-old businesswoman living in the United States. We are not a couple and I expressed, prior to finding out that I was pregnant, that I did not want to pursue a relationship or friendship with him. My reason for feeling that way was because while we were both on vacation together, I found out that he was a womaniser and what I admired about him in the beginning no longer existed.

When I told him that I was pregnant, his reaction was the same as mine: one of shock, regret and anxiety. He wanted me to have an abortion. <span style="font-weight: bold">I am morally against having abortions</span>. After numerous arguments, he decided to dissociate himself completely from me and our unborn child. He said he had too much to lose and if anyone were to find out it would be the end of his career. He would be kicked out of school and forced to return to England. He also said that his future relationships would be damaged and his ministry aspirations would be absolutely tarnished. He said he would not and cannot be associated with this situation.


feelings of depression

I am now left feeling all alone. I have been literally dying from constant vomiting and feelings of depression. I have even had thoughts of suicide. After discussions with my mother and a close friend, they have convinced me to just go ahead with the abortion because, given the circumstances, I am not in a position to raise a child all by myself.

I now hate the father of the child because of the state he has left me in, especially considering the circumstances that surrounded the conception of the child. I have scheduled an appointment for next week but I am still second-guessing my decision. I do not know if I can go through with it. I have never been in a position such as this before.

I am so hurt by this situation; emotionally, spiritually and physically. Do you think that this is the best resolution to the situation? Am I just to abort the child? Should I resume life as if nothing happened?

J.P., New York, United States

Dear J.P.,

This young man and you are adults and you are seven years his senior. Surely you knew that it was unwise to have unprotected sex. Both of you are without excuse. Evidently he forgot what he is and whom he represents when he had sex with you. Now, he is scared to death that if you were to carry the pregnancy, and if you were to divulge who the father of the child is, he would be disciplined by his church and asked to leave the training institution.

I cannot encourage you to terminate the pregnancy because I do not believe in abortion on demand. I believe that if you were ill and your health in danger by carrying the pregnancy, that would be a different matter. But this young man and you had consensual sex so you should deal with the consequences thereafter.

Have the baby. If you do not want him/her, give him/her up for adoption.

Pastor

</div></div>

Again, are condoms outlawed? No sympathy from me.

[sistactry]

Re: Pregnant for a pastor in training

most men wi trust ooman fe mek sure say dem a hangle dem business, meaning de ooman dem shudda a more fret bout unwanted pregnancy/std, but wid ooman so choopid and fool now a days, man haffe tek more lead and caution,

a juss so de ting set,

[Xavier]

Re: Pregnant for a pastor in training

SistaCtry, yuh hard on the lady though. Yes there are 2 sides. She could have seduced him. She must have seen signs that he was a womanizer. But does she not have some obligation to tell the school/church. How many unwanted children will he go around having if the unprotected sex continues. This cycle could continue.

[Peasie]

Re: Pregnant for a pastor in training

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Xavier</div><div class="ubbcode-body">But does she not have some obligation to tell the school/church. How many unwanted children will he go around having if the unprotected sex continues. </div></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Yes, she should tell the seminary and denomination leaders. But not for the sake of unwanted children. Rather for the sake of saving a whole generation of women and men from having this irresponsible person lead a congregation .

Stormney, I don't think &quot;Dear Pastor&quot; makes these stories up. Truth is stranger than fiction. </span>

[Nylah]

Re: Pregnant for a pastor in training


I agree. He is showing no repentence for his part in the whole matter and perfers to hide it????

So when a young couple in the church comes before him in the future, what moral grounds does he stand upon to tell them what they need to do and confess before God when he cant do the same
If he feels he can get away with this beahviour once he will do it again and again.

The woman already said he is a womanizer so she isnt the only one he is sleeping with. The only difference is she is the only one that get cetch......for now....you think she is the only one he is hacing unprotected sex with??? If he is so worried about his reputation, he would slap a condom on no matter what the woman says to him about her protection.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gungo Peas</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Xavier</div><div class="ubbcode-body">But does she not have some obligation to tell the school/church. How many unwanted children will he go around having if the unprotected sex continues. </div></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Yes, she should tell the seminary and denomination leaders. But not for the sake of unwanted children. Rather for the sake of saving a whole generation of women and men from having this irresponsible person lead a congregation .

Stormney, I don't think &quot;Dear Pastor&quot; makes these stories up. Truth is stranger than fiction. </span> </div></div>

[Suesumba]

Re: Pregnant for a pastor in training

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: B_P</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Again, are condoms outlawed? No sympathy from me. </div></div>

yu se'et tu BipPy? but she's not morally against having unprotected sex which could lead to an unwanted pregnancy? bout shi a bizniz owner. mi can juss imagine the informed decisions she makes in her business

[Yuriatin]

Re: Pregnant for a pastor in training

I don’t think this or any of Dear Pastor’s stories are made up.

I know 2 people who’ve been impregnated by pastors. Happens all the time. It's a shame.

Both this man and woman are idiots though.

He’s a fake – total poser – will continue thru his religious schooling pretending to be an upstanding man.

She should’ve known better. Keep your legs closed sister – you just met the dude!

Anyway – here they are now.

If she terminates or not – her choice. But get off that high horse of what you are and aren’t morally opposed to. Seems to me they<span style="font-weight: bold"> BOTH</span> pick and choose their morals as it suits their needs.

If it were me, I’d keep the kid – I’d out the guy and inform the church/school.



<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gungo Peas</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Xavier</div><div class="ubbcode-body">But does she not have some obligation to tell the school/church. How many unwanted children will he go around having if the unprotected sex continues. </div></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Yes, she should tell the seminary and denomination leaders. But not for the sake of unwanted children. Rather for the sake of saving a whole generation of women and men from having this irresponsible person lead a congregation .

Stormney, I don't think &quot;Dear Pastor&quot; makes these stories up. Truth is stranger than fiction. </span> </div></div>

[Nylah]

Re: Pregnant for a pastor in training

<span style="font-weight: bold"> Seems to me they BOTH pick and choose their morals as it suits their needs.
</span>