whaffi do

[tsophra]

so..yu very good friend doing someting that personally yu don't tink is right...however you're both adults and its not up to you to impose your views on her..

problem?

she's going to keep you in the loop all the way, she want's to chat and giggle about this ting the way oonu always do..but yu heart really not into chatting to her about it..how would you hangle dis without offending/hurting har feelings?

[DearK]

Re: whaffi do

If I'm not in agreement with it, updates are going to be frustrating and annoying, so it's not going to be worth it to either of us. She's going to have to let me know outcome once its done, if at all

Why arent you in agreement?

[tsophra]

Re: whaffi do

well she decide fe get with a married man (yes...he's jamaican..lol) and we always chat wi man talk..but me just cyan find any amusement in chatting bout smaddy else husband..nor do I want to provide any advise on the relationship..

again this is not about telling har she shouldn't dweet..that's her business

[loops]

Re: whaffi do

personally i'd rather hear the good, bad and the ugly and have the freedom to weigh in on all of the above if she's going to talk about it at all.

what i don't want to hear is a litany of what a jerk he is when they're fighting, then nada when she keeps him anyway.

[tsophra]

Re: whaffi do

weigh in? how?

[loops]

Re: whaffi do

for me, if someone goes on and on about their personal life, they're looking for validation. And while i'd love to support their dysfunction, if the relationship doesn't make sense...i'm going to say so.

i'm not one to support people's decisions if i think they're wrong.

i just think it's difficult to listen to someone's story when it's an extremely filtered version of what's actually happening.

[tsophra]

Re: whaffi do

ah..I see..I would not say she goes on about her personal life..we just chat as friends do about things in our lives..kids,jobs, men..

whether or not I support her decision is irrelevant..

in her words..she's not trying to take him from his wife..she say's she'll be quite happy in the role has mistress..so she seems aware of what she's getting into

but here's an example of my problem..she call me up and ask me how to get de man to buy lingerie fe har..me tell har seh wid x amount of children he does not have money to buy her anything..she said she does not care /o\

aye sah..I hope she gets tired of this one soon

[kia027]

Re: whaffi do

does she know how you feel about borrowing someone else's husband esp when kids are involved?

[tsophra]

Re: whaffi do

well i told her to be carefull (for her sake) but she nu se nu problem cause she not planning to keep him..

[Peasie]

Re: whaffi do

Your friend sounds rather immature. You are more mature and wiser than her. You might even be out-growing her. That happens sometimes in friendships. I would start by not being so "available" to my friend all the time. I would not answer all her calls, not see her all the time, etc.

Good luck!

[julie*mango]

Re: whaffi do

wat gungo seh...i have a friend from back in college who was promiscuous..she got passed around the basketball team..and funny thing is she is very pretty yet she still has self esteem problems. anyway i cut her off to the point where we are not close anymore but manage to say hi on birthdays etc. still care for her very much but she still has some growing to do..

[Gen]

Re: whaffi do

yup. i cannot tell yuh how much friends mi outgrow. mi juss cannot bother wid dem foolishness man.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gungo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Your friend sounds rather immature. You are more mature and wiser than her. You might even be out-growing her. That happens sometimes in friendships. I would start by not being so &quot;available&quot; to my friend all the time. I would not answer all her calls, not see her all the time, etc.

Good luck! </div></div>

[tsophra]

Re: whaffi do

hmm..i don't know about being more mature or wiser..I think we just have a different outlook on life..that's not new..but this is the first time her outlook makes me want to pull awayy..cause oonu have a point..i might juss have to be less available to her fe de duration

thnx to all for their input

[LiteBlonde]

Re: whaffi do

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gungo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Your friend sounds rather immature. You are more mature and wiser than her. You might even be out-growing her. That happens sometimes in friendships. I would start by not being so &quot;available&quot; to my friend all the time. I would not answer all her calls, not see her all the time, etc.

Good luck! </div></div>



Hell, I wouldn't see her at all after that revelation. Some people are just toxic and one bad apple can make the basket stink.

[blugiant]

Re: whaffi do

wan aff mii friend gott addicted too jugs ann mii add fii drapp ar. luckeelee shii ovacame ar addictshan even dough wii noo langar close