12 traits

[turtledude]

sometimes it's easy to lose sight of things...(I remember posting this a while back.)

these "traits" don't mention anything about skin color.

....except that Number 12 poses an interesting question in terms of "interacial relationships".

Any thoughts?

Traits for Finding a Lifelong Mate
by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

1. Choose someone as though you were blind. Close your eyes and see what you can FEEL; their kindness, loyalty, insight, devotion, their ability to be concerned with you, their ability to care for themselves as an independent being.

2. Choose a person who has the ability to learn, explore new ways of doing things and perceiving things, who is curious, and who is EVOLVING.

3. Choose someone who is willing to be like you....strong like a tree, but flexible in the wind. Someone who is sensitive and who has the ability to see what is around them......who is AWAKE and alert.

4. Chooses someone who when you hurt them, they are willing to show it; and when they hurt you, they see it and are sorry. Choose someone who can perceive your pain and feel for you about it.

5. Choose someone who has an INNER LIFE that they love, who is on their own journey - and who wants a partner on their own journey.

6. Choose someone who has similar passions as your own. A relationship is for making similar memories together, doing things TOGETHER - this is the GLUE of the relationship during hard times. It can be very simple.

7. Choose someone who has similar VALUES about children, money, marriage, family. This decreases the friction in relationship. These need to be worked out before there is a long-term commitment. When the pragmatics in the relationship are mostly taken care of, it is much more easy to SOAR.

8. Choose someone who is COMPASSIONATE, willing and able to listen, who gives equal time.

9. Choose someone who can LAUGH at themselves, or who can stop an argument in mid-sentence.

10. Be able to overlook certain faults and characteristics. KNOW WHAT YOU CAN LIVE WITH. Anything that takes a person away from their soul life, or not telling the truth, or a person who cannot face you after making a mistake and who tries to cover it over in a dramatic, large way instead....this would be starting a relationship on a swamp ground.

11. Be FRIENDS, not just lovers. Are you willing to do for your partner what you would do for your good friend?

12. ****VERY IMPORTANT*****...When you choose, choose someone who makes your life bigger rather than smaller."

[MarieK]

Re: 12 traits

love this

[halfwaytree]

Re: 12 traits



Gonna print it off and pin it to my forehead for reference.

Seriously though, I think before anybody agrees to get married they should go through the list and make sure most of these are checked off. I know I wish I had.

I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and the groom was so drunk he couldn't even stand up to address the guest who attended to thank them for coming. I just had a bad feeling about the marriage from the get go. If he had such little respect and regard for his new bride on their wedding day, imagine what he is going to be like three or four year into it.

Aye Sah!

[turtledude]

Re: 12 traits

live and learn. It's all good, Milo!

[MarieK]

Re: 12 traits

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Curmudgeon_Milo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

Gonna print it off and pin it to my forehead for reference.

Seriously though, I think before anybody agrees to get married they should go through the list and make sure most of these are checked off. I know I wish I had.

I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and the groom was so drunk he couldn't even stand up to address the guest who attended to thank them for coming. I just had a bad feeling about the marriage from the get go. If he had such little respect and regard for his new bride on their wedding day, imagine what he is going to be like three or four year into it.

Aye Sah!

</div></div>

NO MAN dat nuh matta suh long as she have di ring everything awrite then she spend the rest of her life trying to change di man and den bawl when things are not her way.

You see many chase the dream but dont wanna live the reality.

[Stormmey]

Re: 12 traits

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Queen_of_d_A</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Curmudgeon_Milo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

Gonna print it off and pin it to my forehead for reference.

Seriously though, I think before anybody agrees to get married they should go through the list and make sure most of these are checked off. I know I wish I had.

I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and the groom was so drunk he couldn't even stand up to address the guest who attended to thank them for coming. I just had a bad feeling about the marriage from the get go. If he had such little respect and regard for his new bride on their wedding day, imagine what he is going to be like three or four year into it.

Aye Sah!

</div></div>

NO MAN dat nuh matta suh long as she have di ring everything awrite then she spend the rest of her life trying to change di man and den bawl when things are not her way.

<span style="font-weight: bold">You see many chase the dream but dont wanna live the reality. </span> </div></div>

words of wisdom

[applepie]

Re: 12 traits

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Queen_of_d_A</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

You see many chase the dream but dont wanna live the reality. </div></div>

That is it right there

[turtledude]

Re: 12 traits

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: applepie</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Queen_of_d_A</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

You see many chase the dream but dont wanna live the reality. </div></div>

That is it right there </div></div>

some of the &quot;realities&quot;, especially those outside of a relationship, are harsh enuf these days, nuh?

[Nanook]

Re: 12 traits

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">5. Choose someone who has an INNER LIFE that they love, who is on their own journey - and who <span style="font-weight: bold">wants a partner</span> on their own journey.

6. Choose someone who has similar passions as your own. A relationship is for making similar memories together, doing things TOGETHER - this is the GLUE of the relationship during hard times. It can be very simple.</div></div>

These two things together are very hard to find. I have yet to. I think both are necessary as well as the rest of the list but these two are hard.

Then there is the <span style="font-weight: bold">&quot;wants a partner portion&quot;</span>. A somebody would have to be all that for me to bother anymore. I'm so busy with my &quot;own journey inner life&quot; I don't have the time for the bother.

Or, maybe it's that such a person doesn't exist. I could sit here and say I could be all those things to someone but could I?

[Peasie]

Re: 12 traits

In my early 20s I wasn't this smart, rational or choosy as these 12 traits listed here

[Suesumba]

Re: 12 traits

the person looking should also self-reflect to see if they have any of these same qualities.

[turtledude]

Re: 12 traits

I knew there had to be a catch to this! Good marnin SueSumba!

[Suesumba]

Re: 12 traits

hey TDude. just here wasting time. have a pleasant afternoon

[MarieK]

Re: 12 traits

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">the person looking should also self-reflect to see if they have any of these same qualities. </div></div>

lord unnu a preacha tuh raaahhhh? how unnu a drap it pan di peeple dem suh.

mi tiyad fi hear ppl who want dis and want dat an dem doan have none of the qualities dem a look fah. sigh.

respek fi disya