Staying out of Church Politics

[Nylah]

<span style="font-style: italic">alright, this could go in either DearK or Faith n Unreasonable but I'll just post it here for the time being....</span>

I know what I should do with this situation but I am wrestling with doing the right thing - if I am honest

get this email for a woman I went to church with many many many moons ago. I stopped going to this church...and all churches for the fact cause of some B.S. I went thru being the Treasurer and stuff at this place. So I quit the place and have said no way I would ever be in a church again unless it is to sit in the pews and that is it.....church politics and me dont mix.

so this woman tracks me down cause I was good friends with the pastor's wife and she wants to do something for the pastor's family and wanted my input on her ideas since I knew/know them well.

problem is, I know the politics of the place....she is trying to get the congregation to help out the pastor's family cause the church plays him poorly and the family does struggle alot financially.

Problem is, I know her idea was shot down from the board - otherwise they would have done it for them already - and she is trying to get a &quot;grassroots&quot; movement going to put together this food hamper business. (Nuff times I would get caught up in factions with the church cause I held the purse strings) The way I see it - if it was truly grassroots and the congregation really wanted to do something for the pastor's family, she wouldnt be begging someone like me that hasnt had nuttin to do with the place in 7 yrs to help out.

I am willing to be kind to my friend who is the pastor's wife but truth is I absolutely cannot stand her husband and any of the board members. Hence why me and this woman dont talk as much as we once did...too complicated to explain here.

So for a myraid of reasons, I dont want my name in any of it...and this woman asking isnt the kind to keep hr mouth shut even if I ask.

<span style="font-weight: bold">now bigger picture,</span> the family could do with the blessing.

In spite of everything, I think the church treats their family like indentured servants...but the flip side I dont want any part of anything to do with their church politics and having ANY input even benign as this will stir up badmind coming my way and any potential phone calls saying why am I interfering, blah blah and then I have to give up my religion and cuss out someone

<span style="font-weight: bold">what would you do? Would u step up, deal with any crap that might come your way, and help with the food hamper for the family's sake. Or would you tell this woman to go about her business in a polite way and stay out of it?</span>

I want to tell her to not ask for my input but I truly feel bad for doing so

[twiney]

Re: Staying out of Church Politics

I'm going to answer with a paraphrase of a scripture 'if you know to do good and dont do it can you live with that on your conscience'...

It is a tough call but since you know the family needs this help then do what you can ... and deal with the consequences ... but tell her that if there are consequences then she cant come back to your door so she needs to think about the long term effect of any thing she will say such as calling your name.

BTW that is one of the reasons I dont take any office in church I will do my part and organize anything I can but not getting in mix up ...

[Nylah]

Re: Staying out of Church Politics


well, I doubt she will come back again even if ish hits the fan but I am afraid the pastor's wife will catch flack too if my name is anywhere in the mix and then cause strife with her husband, etc. etc. etc. So it isnt just me catching fire.

I do enough myself secretly to bless my friend but I still feel like a piece of work if I dont put the previous ish aside and just help....conflicted as hell at the moment.

it is such a crazy dance that all of it gives me a headache and I stay away from many ppl that went there.

[Emperah]

Re: Staying out of Church Politics

give har a 10 dollah an done wid it.

[Nylah]

Re: Staying out of Church Politics



10 dollah? how u so cheap

naah, it is more than money she is seeking it is direction and specific input as to what the church should do....different ballgame than just handing over a bit of money. And I would never do that anyways.

[Boopie2]

Re: Staying out of Church Politics

problem is, I know the politics of the place....she is trying to get the congregation to help out the pastor's family cause the church plays him poorly and the family does struggle alot financially.

The church pays him poorly? What kind of mess is that? Why doesn't he have a job like the rest of his congregation, it is his responsibility to care for his family and not yours period. I can see if he fell on hard times but come on now.

[Emperah]

Re: Staying out of Church Politics

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

10 dollah? how u so cheap

naah, it is more than money she is seeking it is direction and specific input as to what the church should do....different ballgame than just handing over a bit of money. And I would never do that anyways. </div></div>

Yeah I seen you said you don't want to get into it, thus my 10 dollaz

[Emperah]

Re: Staying out of Church Politics

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body">problem is, I know the politics of the place....she is trying to get the congregation to help out the pastor's family cause the church plays him poorly and the family does struggle alot financially.

The church pays him poorly? What kind of mess is that? Why doesn't he have a job like the rest of his congregation, it is his responsibility to care for his family and not yours period. I can see if he fell on hard times but come on now. </div></div>

Why should he have to have another job and be the pastor as well, is it not his job to minister to the flock? That's an all day, all week job enuh, specially wid de stiffed necked fools Nylah a describe.

[Nylah]

Re: Staying out of Church Politics

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body">problem is, I know the politics of the place....she is trying to get the congregation to help out the pastor's family cause the church plays him poorly and the family does struggle alot financially.

The church pays him poorly? What kind of mess is that? Why doesn't he have a job like the rest of his congregation, it is his responsibility to care for his family and not yours period. I can see if he fell on hard times but come on now. </div></div>

because the church is filled with peny pinching Caribbean people seriously.....

he cant have an outside job. It is a medium size church that requires a full time pastor but they dont tithe and its not like it is a lower income church.

His family sees little of him as well that if he took a second job on top of the 60 hours he works per week with the church she would divorce him......This was always my battle with the board. the level of expectation they had vs compensation but I would get crucified for having an opinion because I knew the family before they went into ministry.

[Nylah]

Re: Staying out of Church Politics

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: dahJahPawtTwo</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body">problem is, I know the politics of the place....she is trying to get the congregation to help out the pastor's family cause the church plays him poorly and the family does struggle alot financially.

The church pays him poorly? What kind of mess is that? Why doesn't he have a job like the rest of his congregation, it is his responsibility to care for his family and not yours period. I can see if he fell on hard times but come on now. </div></div>

Why should he have to have another job and be the pastor as well, is it not his job to minister to the flock? That's an all day, all week job enuh, specially wid de stiffed necked fools Nylah a describe.

</div></div>

u are right dahjah. A living wage should be paid. You cant expect him to get up in the middle of the night to deal with a congregant's death or other tragedy and then expect the man to get up and go drive a bus the following morning. This is what he is called to do and went to school for, and thus should make a living at it.


Anyhoo, I just sent the pastor's wife (my friend) an email telling her this person's request and how I feel uncomfortable with the request. I mean 7 years and now you call my name to help? So I point blank asked if there is so crap brewing in the church that I need to be aware of cause I aint getting involved if that is the case.

No such thing as random acts of kindness with many of these people so having Sista Beatrice get on the phone and cuss me for being outside of God's Will, will make me hurt somebody.

[Emperah]

Re: Staying out of Church Politics

[Nylah]

Re: Staying out of Church Politics

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: dahJahPawtTwo</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> </div></div>

tonks

[Boopie2]

Re: Staying out of Church Politics

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: dahJahPawtTwo</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body">problem is, I know the politics of the place....she is trying to get the congregation to help out the pastor's family cause the church plays him poorly and the family does struggle alot financially.

The church pays him poorly? What kind of mess is that? Why doesn't he have a job like the rest of his congregation, it is his responsibility to care for his family and not yours period. I can see if he fell on hard times but come on now. </div></div>

Why should he have to have another job and be the pastor as well, is it not his job to minister to the flock? That's an all day, all week job enuh, specially wid de stiffed necked fools Nylah a describe.

</div></div>

1 Timothy 5:8 ...Certainly if anyone does not provide for those who are his own, and especially for those who are members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.


Philippians 2:5-9; 5 Keep this mental attitude in YOU that was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although he was existing in God’s form, gave no consideration to a seizure, namely, that he should be equal to God. 7 No, but he emptied himself and took a slave’s form and came to be in the likeness of men. 8 More than that, when he found himself in fashion as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient as far as death, yes, death on a torture stake. 9 For this very reason also God exalted him to a superior position and kindly gave him the name that is above every [other] name,


The Bible says that Jesus &quot;became poor&quot; for our sakes. He took a lower position as a human and grew up in a family of common people. Even Jesus was a carpenter like Joseph.

Mark 6:3 This is the carpenter the son of Mary and the brother of James and Joseph and Judas and Simon, is it not? And his sisters are here with us, are they not?”

[Boopie2]

Re: Staying out of Church Politics

I know many that do both.

[Nylah]

Re: Staying out of Church Politics

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I know many that do both. </div></div>

yes, but u have to take into consideration the church size and duties. He works 50 to 60 hrs a week, so where does he find time to raise a family and work a second job to put food on the table.

I know this church. I was the Treasurer. It was nothing but badmind and cheapness since all the other pentecostal churches in the area paid the standard wage for a church that size.
They generated enough money to pay the industry standard for pastors ministering a church that size, plain and simple.

And no, it isnt for his family to suffer and not have food to eat or his kids have proper clothing while the entire congregation can live a normal standard life but expect him to scarfice everything including his family life.

His daugther kisses him goodnight in the morning because she knows she wont see daddy for the rest of the day. And he is expected to minister to everyone else's family and keep them happy and healthy but he isnt allow the same thing? naah sah.

not even remotely the same thing at all.