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<span style="font-weight: bold"> An adulterer who could not resist tells his side of the story
Monday, January 04, 2010
"It wasn't like I went to Old Harbour with the clear intention of being unfaithful, but I've come to realise that in life things happen and you can never be prepared," said the 52-year-old accountant who asked that his name not be published.
"My wife was six months pregnant with our third child and I was going to visit my mother in Old Harbour, St Catherine like I did on the last Friday of every month since she moved back to Jamaica from England. I was on the bus nodding off when this woman struck up a conversation with me."
He said "it was like fate" when they both got off at the same stop, and they continued their conversation all the way to his mother's district. It was a conversation that sparked an extramarital relationship that would last five years.
That was 20 years ago, and he now he says he wishes he never had that meeting, which led to him to his "first real taste of variety".
"It ruined my marriage. When my wife decided to leave me after 23 years of marriage, it was that incident that she cited as the marriage's breaking point, even though she stayed with me after she found out about the adultery."
But, he admitted, the other woman gave him a rush.
"It was pure adrenaline pumping erotica," he said. "She did things that I, who had gone to church all my life, had never been warned about. Sure they warn you about temptation, about the flesh, but I couldn't resist that flesh. You'd have to see her to understand."
He said he tried to keep the love affair secret, and it wasn't hard since his family lived in St Elizabeth and the other woman in St Catherine. But, he said, when his marriage eventually started to unravel, his wife told him that she knew all along that there was someone else.
"The shocker came for me when she told me that she just waited until our last child completed high school to make her break," he said. "She said all those years she just prayed and waited and as soon as our last girl graduated, she packed her things and moved in with a younger man."
Today he lives with his eldest daughter and her family, after losing his ability to work because of various illnesses associated with diabetes.
He said he hasn't had another woman since his wife left five years ago.
"That was what took the cake, that was karma," he said. "While my wife was living with this other man, I was beating myself up because she also confessed that she has been sexually dissatisfied through the later years of our marriage."
While he regrets the consequences that came with the adultery, he said, it was not something he could have helped, and he believes that had it not been with that woman, it would have eventually happened with others.
"You go into marriage thinking that you'll be able to stick with one woman forever, but that's not realistic," he said. "A man has needs, a man needs variety. You can fight it all you want, but the temptation is great.
"I never treated the woman outside the marriage in the same way that I treated my wife. Men cheat because they need gratification. Cheating is like masturbating – you have to quench the thirst immediately. That's not to say that you don't love your woman at home. You love her and you love your family, but the need for variety is like the need for water – you can't live without it."
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OMG~
Monday, January 04, 2010
"It wasn't like I went to Old Harbour with the clear intention of being unfaithful, but I've come to realise that in life things happen and you can never be prepared," said the 52-year-old accountant who asked that his name not be published.
"My wife was six months pregnant with our third child and I was going to visit my mother in Old Harbour, St Catherine like I did on the last Friday of every month since she moved back to Jamaica from England. I was on the bus nodding off when this woman struck up a conversation with me."
He said "it was like fate" when they both got off at the same stop, and they continued their conversation all the way to his mother's district. It was a conversation that sparked an extramarital relationship that would last five years.
That was 20 years ago, and he now he says he wishes he never had that meeting, which led to him to his "first real taste of variety".
"It ruined my marriage. When my wife decided to leave me after 23 years of marriage, it was that incident that she cited as the marriage's breaking point, even though she stayed with me after she found out about the adultery."
But, he admitted, the other woman gave him a rush.
"It was pure adrenaline pumping erotica," he said. "She did things that I, who had gone to church all my life, had never been warned about. Sure they warn you about temptation, about the flesh, but I couldn't resist that flesh. You'd have to see her to understand."
He said he tried to keep the love affair secret, and it wasn't hard since his family lived in St Elizabeth and the other woman in St Catherine. But, he said, when his marriage eventually started to unravel, his wife told him that she knew all along that there was someone else.
"The shocker came for me when she told me that she just waited until our last child completed high school to make her break," he said. "She said all those years she just prayed and waited and as soon as our last girl graduated, she packed her things and moved in with a younger man."
Today he lives with his eldest daughter and her family, after losing his ability to work because of various illnesses associated with diabetes.
He said he hasn't had another woman since his wife left five years ago.
"That was what took the cake, that was karma," he said. "While my wife was living with this other man, I was beating myself up because she also confessed that she has been sexually dissatisfied through the later years of our marriage."
While he regrets the consequences that came with the adultery, he said, it was not something he could have helped, and he believes that had it not been with that woman, it would have eventually happened with others.
"You go into marriage thinking that you'll be able to stick with one woman forever, but that's not realistic," he said. "A man has needs, a man needs variety. You can fight it all you want, but the temptation is great.
"I never treated the woman outside the marriage in the same way that I treated my wife. Men cheat because they need gratification. Cheating is like masturbating – you have to quench the thirst immediately. That's not to say that you don't love your woman at home. You love her and you love your family, but the need for variety is like the need for water – you can't live without it."
</span>
OMG~
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