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DEAR AMY: I have wonderful, loving husband who can be a tad controlling when it comes to doing things his way. Honestly, he would probably say the same about me.
My husband wanted me to have some new jeans for Christmas, which was a nice thought because I am still wearing my maternity jeans. I had my third child a year ago so, unfortunately, I am no longer the size 8 that I was when we married.
We went shopping, and he kept picking out jeans I hated. We had a big fight. He says I'm ungrateful and unappreciative, and I say he's controlling.
I've tried to tell him how I feel, but he won't listen and thinks I'm just being argumentative.
I know that when you are given a gift, it is the thought that counts, but is it wrong for me to want to pick out my own clothes that make me feel comfortable and look good on me?
Should I just wear what he picks out and be thankful?
I feel sick over this whole silly fight. The problem is that we always fight over little things. What to do? -- Ungrateful
Amy's answer:
DEAR UNGRATEFUL: This tussle is really a metaphorical a tug of war over who "wears the pants" in your family.
You are correct that when receiving a gift you should be appreciative, but your husband needs to realize that jeans fall into a special category for women because we have an unusual (sometimes oversensitive) reaction to how our behinds look in denim.
I blame Heidi Klum for the fiction that a woman can have babies and be a supermodel at the same time. Your husband may be trying to tell you that he wants the "old you" back, and you could use this episode as an incentive, but if you aren't ready to graduate from your "mom jeans," he should take a rain check on giving you this particular gift.
In a healthy relationship, partners understand that each will wear the pants at different times. Recognizing your control issues will help you both to tackle them more appropriately.
My husband wanted me to have some new jeans for Christmas, which was a nice thought because I am still wearing my maternity jeans. I had my third child a year ago so, unfortunately, I am no longer the size 8 that I was when we married.
We went shopping, and he kept picking out jeans I hated. We had a big fight. He says I'm ungrateful and unappreciative, and I say he's controlling.
I've tried to tell him how I feel, but he won't listen and thinks I'm just being argumentative.
I know that when you are given a gift, it is the thought that counts, but is it wrong for me to want to pick out my own clothes that make me feel comfortable and look good on me?
Should I just wear what he picks out and be thankful?
I feel sick over this whole silly fight. The problem is that we always fight over little things. What to do? -- Ungrateful
Amy's answer:
DEAR UNGRATEFUL: This tussle is really a metaphorical a tug of war over who "wears the pants" in your family.
You are correct that when receiving a gift you should be appreciative, but your husband needs to realize that jeans fall into a special category for women because we have an unusual (sometimes oversensitive) reaction to how our behinds look in denim.
I blame Heidi Klum for the fiction that a woman can have babies and be a supermodel at the same time. Your husband may be trying to tell you that he wants the "old you" back, and you could use this episode as an incentive, but if you aren't ready to graduate from your "mom jeans," he should take a rain check on giving you this particular gift.
In a healthy relationship, partners understand that each will wear the pants at different times. Recognizing your control issues will help you both to tackle them more appropriately.
This would never happen in my household, I go shopping by myself, I don't even like to clothes shop with my girlfriends. 
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