Dear Pastor call har Cockroach

[diabolical_Tanya]

...

Dear Pastor,
I read your column every day and I really hope that you can help me. I am in love with a married man who is living with his wife in the United States. He owns a business here in Jamaica. I am also still in love with my ex-boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend treated me very bad last year. When I met my ex, he told me that he was single, and he had a child, but he and the child's mother were no longer together. He said she visits his house because their daughter lives with him.

Whenever I ask my ex why I cannot visit his house, he would say that he is not ready for me to visit. If I were to call him and tell him that I was hungry, he would tell me that he will be over soon, but I had to repeatedly call him from 9 a.m. until he shows his face at 8:30 p.m. On many occasions, he has said that he plans to visit me, but he never shows up. I would call his phone all night to find out why he has not yet stopped by my house and he would not answer and then says to me the next day that he fell asleep.

To be honest with you, pastor, I am crazy in love with my ex, but we quarrelled daily because of these problems. He is always around his friends. For an entire week before my 22nd birthday, I never saw him. So, I decided to move on with my life. I met my married man online. He was here in Jamaica for my birthday and we had a wonderful time together.

My married man is here every other month and for the few months that we have been together, he bought me a promise ring and he relocated me to a better community.


jealous of his wife

He bought all of my furniture and appliances and he has also employed me in his company. He is a wonderful man. The only problem is that he is married. But, we are in love with each other. He only wants the best for me. He wants me to learn how to drive so that he can buy me my vehicle. I am so jealous of his wife, but he told me that I should not be because I am his world.

My ex-boyfriend lived near to my community and he wanted to see me so I visited him and he kissed me. Pastor, I am a very emotional person who is still in love with him. A few days later, we made love in his house.

I am so confused. My ex wants me back and I feel the same way too. I am what people call 'wife material' and I would like to have a family in a few years.

Please, pastor, help me.

K.W., Jamaica


Dear K.W.,

Big joke, is it joke that you are giving me? How can you really call yourself wife material? You must be crazy! A married man is having an affair with you. You say you are in love with him. He has given you everything you need, including a job. And, he knows that you are not very smart, so he bought you a 'promise ring.' Cockroach, a promise ring from a married man? Only a silly and desperate woman would accept that from a married man. Girl, what is wrong with you? Well, I know for sure that you are crazy.

You are not a good woman. You are eating the goodies from the married man while you are still having the time of your life with the man you call your ex. He is not your ex. He is one of your men. You are a bad woman. Curse me as much as you want. I have told you the truth.

You are available to those two men and you are going to get hurt. Your so-called ex is encouraging you to come back to him, but you are already back. What you do not know is that he will never trust you because he knows what you are doing.

Your way of escape is to empower yourself by getting an education and not depending on any man to support you. Do not try to destroy the married man's life. His wife might 'out your light.'

Pastor

[FrenchTickla]

Re: Dear Pastor call har Cockroach

Altho mi nuh rate dis pastor mi a go gi him di benefit of di doubt and tink him mean "cockroach" as in "wat a ting!"

[Peasie]

Re: Dear Pastor call har Cockroach

Cockroach aside, this is an awful answer coming from a "pastor." He basically told this young woman that she has no self-worth. How sad. His answer could have been more along the lines of helping this immature young woman see that her dependent nature will not serve her well in the long run. And that she should work towards developing her own interests. What an irresponsible and unkind answer well he did mention that at the end but only after ridiculing her. *kissteet*

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: Dear Pastor call har Cockroach

The strange thing, or not so strange thing, but sad reality is that his behavior, is the norm for not just pastors.

The majority of whom have no formal training to be a minister anyway.
But the whole Jamaican management strategy is that managers are not trained in psychology.
So their human skills are not just lacking, but is an obstruction to good human relationship.
The country is lacking in effective management skills. <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Peasie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Cockroach aside, this is an awful answer coming from a &quot;pastor.&quot; He basically told this young woman that she has no self-worth. How sad. His answer could have been more along the lines of helping this immature young woman see that her dependent nature will not serve her well in the long run. And that she should work towards developing her own interests. What an irresponsible and unkind answer well he did mention that at the end but only after ridiculing her. *kissteet* </div></div>

[FrenchTickla]

Re: Dear Pastor call har Cockroach

dis is why mi seh mi nuh rate him

[Boricua_papi]

Re: Dear Pastor call har Cockroach

@ cockroach.

[Suesumba]

Re: Dear Pastor call har Cockroach

dear pastor is an idiot.

[Peasie]

Re: Dear Pastor call har Cockroach

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">dear pastor is an idiot. </div></div>Is there any way we can get this message across to him? Seriously.

[ILP]

Re: Dear Pastor call har Cockroach

<span style="font-style: italic">***mi neva sleep none lass night &amp; mi feel fi mek di debbil gi mi tings fi do...***</span>

how im any different than say Dear Abbey and di oddah advisement people out deh? plus di eediat people out deh weh write im.....mi will come back later fi tell oonu wah mi tink about them. cockroaches indeed