How would you handle it?

[Fyah]

I know someone who is "in love".

She is 32 and he is 37 and they've been together for over 7 years.

They are just right for each other and often say that they could not imagine being apart.

She just found out that she cannot conceive.

She is afraid to tell him and has decided to just keep "trying2 without telling him the truth.

She has heard it before..."if you love him, you'd tell him" and all similar comments.

She disagrees and feel that if she tells him it could jeopardize their union.

She believes that her actions could be interpreted as "selfish" but she feels that she need to protect "their interest"...

What would you tell her? What would you do?

[MsExced]

Re: How would you handle it?

She needs to be honest with him, period no if's of but's.

Too much secrets man why can't we be honest with each other from the get go.

There are other ways to get a child.

[halfwaytree]

Re: How would you handle it?

She needs to come clean and say something. Besides there is always adoption.

[Fyah]

Re: How would you handle it?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Ms Exced</div><div class="ubbcode-body">She needs to be honest with him, period no if's of but's.

Too much secrets man why can't we be honest with each other from the get go.

There are other ways to get a child. </div></div>

My sentiments exactly.

I cannot believe someone can talk about loving someone and see nothing wrong with lying to them about something as important.

I shudder to think of the ending to this mess.

[Fyah]

Re: How would you handle it?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Curmudgeon_Milo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">She needs to come clean and say something. Besides there is always adoption. </div></div>

Agreed. I have made that suggestion but she is convinced that she is doing the right thing.

I believe that she is operating from a level of fear. Just can't see how fear fits into being in love...except the fear of death.

[evanovitch]

Re: How would you handle it?

sound like a plot from a soap opera...tell har to watch one n see how even in the scripted world, lying no wut it

[Wendy]

Re: How would you handle it?

Oh Lord DearK going from one extreme to the other tidey ..

This one easy SP. She has got to come clean. If that man loves her the way you put it he will find away to get over that. They can look into in vitro/adoption and the whole experience could bring them even closer.

She needs to give him the opportunity to know the truth and the ability to go to a Plan B.

[missus_vegas]

Re: How would you handle it?

he is bound to find out sooner or later....

[missus_vegas]

Re: How would you handle it?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Oh Lord DearK going from one extreme to the other tidey ..
. </div></div>


all surrounding bellies...sinting a gwane pan dis board

[Hush Darlin]

Re: How would you handle it?

since a noh she alone kno sey she cannot conceive im a go fine out soon and it goin to be worse for he so she better come clean now

[Tony_Royal]

Re: How would you handle it?

Who tell har dat she can't conceive?

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: How would you handle it?

It don't sound like they are married. So i don't reallyit is his business. Now if they were married now!! That would be different.
It reallydon't matter howthey feel about each pother.
it is how the are related to each opther that make the difference. After 7 years, if they are not yet married, they each probably will end up having children with who ever they .

[missus_vegas]

Re: How would you handle it?

dud mi no agree

based on the poster comment<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">She is afraid to tell him and has decided to just keep &quot;trying2 without telling him the truth.
</div></div>

it seem to me the couple is actively TTC...so in marrige and or no marrige she shouldnt have di man a waste time trying fi breed har if she know she cyan breed.

[Peasie]

Re: How would you handle it?

Sure she needs to be honest with him. But something is not quite right here: why does she think that having a child has anything to do with this relationship? Does she feel that she is less of a woman if she cannot conceive? Is she led to feel that way by her lover?

[Nylah]

Re: How would you handle it?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Peasie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Sure she needs to be honest with him. But something is not quite right here: why does she think that having a child has anything to do with this relationship?<span style="font-weight: bold"> Does she feel that she is less of a woman if she cannot conceive?</span> Is she led to feel that way by her lover? </div></div>


I've heard this refrain before in some of my friends

if she knows for a FACT that she cannot conceive she should tell him before getting married. He will be a jerk if that makes him walk away but I would rather he leave now then after the ring is on and it cost me a pile of money.

There is always adoption and IVF treatment if u choose to take that route but that is something that should be spoken about BEFORE marriage not afterwards, if u know u have fertility problmes.

it is different if u have no clue and find out after marriage that u cant get pregnant.

my friend is going thru that now, and to her comfort, her husband said she is all the family he needs and now they are starting the adoption process.

she should trsut that his love for her is enough. If she is scared to test that then they shouldnt get married.